Posts Tagged ‘student ministry’
Brazilian Youth Workers, Part 2
Here is part of the Q & A I had with youth leaders across the southern states of Brazil..
Name a couple of early leadership lessons that still impact you today.
First, I’m not God. Second, if I’m going to make it long term in ministry, I better get good at feeding myself spiritually.
Both of these lessons came at a great price – the price of failure. We meet students with huge needs and voids in their life – lack of a family, mom, dad, emotional or physical abuse, great hurt and needs – and part of what makes us good is that empathy and desire to meet those needs, to help. The danger is stepping in over our heads and thinking WE are going to make the difference.
They need Jesus more than anything else. They need that personal connection with Him because He is the only one that will heal completely, restore completely. If I step in and all of a sudden I am the hero – then I’m taking the place of God and it might be so subtle of a change that I don’t notice it until it is too late. So a student becomes more dependent on us than God or more in love with us than Jesus. Dangerous place to be for both them and us.
Eventually, we minister out of the overflow of who we are and what God is doing inside us. And if we aren’t consistently learning and feeding ourselves spiritually – there will be a crash.
If you are just starting out a student ministry, what’s the first thing you suggest doing?
Start with finding a couple of other people that are as crazy about students as you are. Then do life with them, grow with them and start investing in students. Size of group doesn’t matter at this point (if ever) but it’s the pattern of life on life discipleship that you want to learn and start reproducing in your workers.
Give students access to your life so they can see and hear and taste and touch Jesus in your everyday life.
How do you find volunteers
Pray like crazy. And start being observant. Teens are great at recruiting their own volunteers. Just watch what adults your students talk to and hang out with during church events or school events. What parents or mentors seem to attract students?
Get specific when you ask for volunteers. Have a task that is measurable for first time volunteers — like setting up this space, providing these resources, doing this certain job. Start this way and as they get ‘infected’ with the student ministry, they’ll move into deeper areas of serving.
Our culture is so sexual and there is this over-emphasis on physical beauty. The girls dress so provocatively – almost every media outlet uses sex to sell – how do we combat this? How do we speak to our students about this?
Tough question, one we face in the States as well. Amy and Lisa spoke to this question better than I did. I talked about ‘taking them to the crash site.’ In other words, walk the students to the inevitable conclusion of where their actions are taking them. Not a bad answer but Amy and Lisa’s answer was better.
They said — keep taking your students to the Word as to the kind of man/woman God wants them to be. Keep pushing a God-centered identity and being accountable to that. Mileage may vary but only a heart captured by God is going to be able to withstand the world’s temptation.
Youth ministry and youth workers have very little respect in our culture. How do lead in that kind of context? How do you deal with parents and students who won’t respect or follow leadership?
This was another tough question. After swapping war stories, I shared with them the passage God seemed to laser in my heart this last year and half as a new lead pastor — Philippians 2 — the whole chapter but here is the focal point for me happens in verses 3- 7:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…
I’m not sure if there is any magic pill we can take to make others follow us or give us respect. The best thing I think to do is make sure every decision I make is because Jesus told me to do it. Nothing out of selfish-ambition. Having a team that is sold out to the vision will help discern what those decisions are but as leaders we have to make sure that we do what we do because it’s God-directed.
Talking With Brazillian Youth Workers, Part 1
One of the highlights of the trips for me had to be the opportunity to sit with over 20 youth workers from all over Rio Grande de Sol, Brazil. Most churches are very small and Catholicism & Spiritism still dominates the culture. Think Voodoo mixed with patron saints. We were told that most folks go to mass on Saturday morning then to their seance on Saturday night.
Here’s a quick list of the challenges they face:
* There are two kinds of Christianity competing in this culture. The “God wants you rich so do these things in order to secure his blessing” kind and those that stress the grace of God and Jesus death and resurrection. They are struggling hard to emphasize the Gospel and the grace of God, not man’s attempt to make God happy.
* So many churches fight against teens and children, fearing change.
* There are little to no student ministry resources in Portuguese.
* Churches are small and poor. Many times the Senior Pastor is the only paid staff of a church.
* Volunteers who run student ministries suffer from discouragement as there is no infrastructure of support for youth workers. There is also very little training for youth workers.
* Student culture is highly SEXUAL. Lot’s contributing factors to this – Brazilian teens can’t get a job until they are 18, school is only in session for half a day, and there are no sports or clubs for teens to get involved in after school. There is a lot of free time for students to do whatever they want with little to no accountability. Workers said they feel completely overwhelmed by sexuality in the culture – and it is everywhere – music, movies, fashion.
* Parent involvement is next to nothing in most churches. This has two huge negative side-effects for the churches. There is a very small pool of people to find volunteers. Whatever “good” the church does has to compete and stand against the 6 days, 22 hours they are away from church.
* Southern Brazil is called the Missionary Cemetery. The average lifespan of a Christian missionary in the area is 18 to 24 months.
All of these factors are what pushed Thomas Schneider to start Palavra da Vida Sul 20 years ago. Over the years, he’s developed a long-term strategy and team to help churches and communities in reaching teenagers with the clear message of the Gospel. Their Bible Club ministry is designed to train leaders how to teach the Scriptures to teens in a systematic way as well as providing Portuguese resources to churches for student ministry. Some of these Bible Clubs stand alone in communities where there is no evangelical presence, many of them partner with local churches as their student ministry. Their camp ministry and sports tourneys are opportunities for churches and these Bible Clubs to bring lost students to an environment where they can hear the gospel clearly.
As I listened to these youth workers talk about their struggles, so many of them were just like the ones we face in the States. Lack of parent involvement, the constant sexual pull of the culture, church cultures that seem to fight against teens instead of for them.
When I see what Thomas and PVSul is doing to help churches, I know I’m a part of something very special and unique in this culture. They are the pioneers right now, emphasizing to local churches the importance of life on life discipleship and engagement in the teenage world.
Tomorrow, Part 2. The Question & Answer session with these leaders.
Losing Control of a Service
Sunday may have been the most significant service we’ve had at WH since I’ve been here. We put our graduating seniors on stage and then let the church loose. For the next 90 minutes, these students heard how we have seen God work in them and through them. No agenda, no music, just God-stories all morning long.
And it was awesome.
When we started planning the service months ago, there was some hesitation. Sure, it could be an awesome spiritual marker, but what about those who hadn’t made their faith a priority? What about those who came only to the midweek life group? The rest of the church wouldn’t know who they were. What about those students whose families weren’t believers? Would they even show up? What if nobody said anything?
Is the reward of having a spiritual marker for our graduates, our student ministry, and the church as a whole worth the risk? That’s the question that ultimately we had to deal with and I’m proud of our Creative and Student Ministry Teams in their answer – YES.
Losing Control Of A Service
We had in our minds the service lasting about an hour. There were a couple of times when I tried to ‘wind down’ the sharing. Wasn’t going to happen. People kept getting up telling stories of how this student coached their kid in Upward. This student babysat and the kids wanted to grow up to be like them. A couple of students were now followers of Jesus this past year because of these students. Life change story after life change story.
Every time there was a lull, I’d stand up to close the service but someone else would stand up. Finally the seniors just took the microphone from me and said – “Just sit down.”
But what a marker it was for our seniors. What a marker it was for the rest of our student ministry. What a marker for our church.
25 Hours of Seeing God Work
Sunday, August 2
9.00 am
I’ve been up at the church for almost an hour now, listening to the worship team practice, smelling the eggs and sausage from the men’s breakfast. I didn’t go to the breakfast this morning. I normally do but today is going to be a long but an awesome day. We’ll spend some time after church with the worship team interviewing our potential new part-time worship leader, youth have a service tonight where we get to hear what God has done in and through them this summer, potential youth volunteer meeting after that…
But before all of that happens, I have to ‘unpack’ Ephesians 2. Struggling with how to end the message. This is the part of my preaching that I struggle with – landing the plane. It’s not how you start but how you finish. I’ve crash landed a few sermons since I’ve been here. It’s painful. I feel like I’m in the groove to start, have good insights in the middle then when it comes time to end it…wheels off the wagon. I’ve slammed it down in the runaway a couple of times and just prayed that no one was injured.
This is where the craft of speaking comes into play. I REALLY want to get better at this. The creative team that meets every week helps with this. The teaching time must end with a point of response. What does God want us to do with this information? How should we respond? It’s not really worship until that happens. It’s just a learning experience, a mental exercise. I want more than that. I want worship, an encounter, a transformational opportunity.
9.20 am
I get out of my office to get wired up and see some old, dear friends from Emporia – the Euseys. I met Don at BK every week at 8 am for about a year. He’ll never know how much he helped me. I wish I had words. Lucy is one of the most creative, insightful people I’ve ever been around. I love catching up with them. It’s not enough time with them.
9.30 am
Service starts with video of last week’s VBS. We had several kids accept Christ last week, we gathered over 1,000 items of school supplies for McCarter Elementary School. I love to see children ‘get’ the gospel but on the other hand I know there will be a time in their life where the re-evaluate their decision. They’ll question the validity, wrestle with the depth of which they made this decision. Almost every kid that makes a decision as a child goes through this. It’s why I’ve never been comfortable baptizing children. I want them to go through that process first, then get baptized so that it means something to them. At any rate, I’ll still think it’s important to teach kids the truth in a way that can understand it. It’s worth the process.
10.43 am
First service over and it was good. I do feel like I struggled with landing the plane but it wasn’t a crash landing. Interview with Brandon was great, plugging the youth service tonight.
10.55 am
Second service is about to start. I’ve met numerous new families that are starting to become regulars at Western Hills. I’m nervous. I love the new faces, I love the slow growth we’re seeing. The need for Life Group leaders who reproduce followers of Jesus is increasing. It’s the missing piece of the puzzle for us. We’re not unique in this. Most churches have a hard time reproducing leaders. This is where we are starting in a couple weeks with a Turbo Group.
We know that people want more than just a good worship experience from their church (as they should). They want a group of other believers to do life with, to serve with. To be discipled and to disciple. We’re heading that direction, we will get there but the unanswerable question is this – will the ‘newbies’ hang on while we get there? Will they go there with us or will they bolt for another church that is further down the road than we are? Ultimately I know this is a ridiculous stupid discussion to have with myself. We are who we are right now and God’s working on us and He’s moving us on His timeframe. Trust that, not anything else. Rome wasn’t built in a day…
12.10 pm
For the first time in a long time, I actually feel decent about how the service ended. Big point this morning – Objects of wrath is self and/or Satan inflicted, not God inflicted. God wants us to be objects of his great, unmeasurable mercy. But it only comes through Jesus Christ – his death, burial and resurrection. Had some folks pray with me after the service…wrestling with the grace of God. It’s a good thing.
12.30 pm
Worship team is meeting with Rick Stones. We’re thinking Rick is the next worship leader for us at Western Hills. It’s been unreal how this process came about. After working with him 4 weeks, seeing him lead practices, work with creative team, how he reacts to critiques – I’m impressed. We’ve had them over for dinner, lunch. I played 17 holes of golf with him. (Don’t ask about 18.) I’ve never been this positive or sure of hire in my life. I’m floored that God has moved the Stones and Western Hills this direction.
Worship team asks some great questions. How’s your walk with Jesus? What is going to be difficult for you moving forward? What prompted this movement at this time? Rick is himself and it’s just wonderful to see it all click. Randi (wife) – gosh…how blessed are we going to be with this couple? The team is amped about them, the future, working with Rick and Randi. We go to Church Council Wednesday night to affirm this. I’m becoming a crying idiot because I’m just overwhelmed at what God is doing.
3.00 pm
Finally home, time for a quick nap before youth service.
5.30 pm
Back at church to help prep for youth service.
7.00 pm
Service is over and the word ‘awesome’ was used at least 97 times. And what incredible life change stories we got to hear! It was….awesome. (98)
8.00 pm
While students are playing volleyball and eating pizza and ice cream, we get a room of around 11 potential youth volunteers to talk about the future of student ministry. I’m floored by the response. We have the makings of an incredible team here. I’m once again humbled at what God is doing in our people. Looks like we’re going to get at least 4 new coaches, lots of support help out this crew.
9.55 pm
Still in gym laughing and goofing off with Rob Ginder. I’ve found a new goofing off buddy. Of course, Lisa T has called me down a few times in meetings. I’m guessing this will continue – us goofing off, Lisa getting us back on task.
10.30 pm
Home, put kids in bed, catch up on Burn Notice.
Monday, August 3rd
8.30 am
Up at church, loading up 3 cars to take school supplies to McCarter Elementary. Dale and Marion Liby are here to help as is Brandon and Hannah. It’s 50 some odd bags of school supplies plus a huge bin.
9.00 am
Get to school, principal is there. She sees the stuff (we’ll have a video on Sunday) and I can tell she’s not sure what to say. She tells us this is huge for them. Many students don’t have all the supplies, this lets them supplement them in a way that isn’t embarrassing. We talk about the mats that Marion and the ladies bible study have made.
10.00 am
Back to WHBC with Brandon.
BG: “That was cool. This is really what it’s about.”
GE: “Yeah…”
I want to say more but that pretty much summed it all up. An extraordinary 25 hours.
An Ebenezer By Any Other Name
Ebenezer: name of Hebrew origin meaning “Stone of the help” (derived from the phrase “Eben ha-Ezer”).
Stone of the help. “Here I raise my stone of the help.” A marker to help us remember the provision or presence of God.
Our students are having their own “Ebenezer Moment” this coming Sunday night. (6 pm, at Western Hills, whole church is invited). They’ve had an incredible summer. We had a few of our students lead a small group, help lead and staff our VBS, as well two weeks of Super Summer where over 6 students made Jesus the Lord of their life. Two other students feel like they are called to full-time missions. Then there are the life change stories of students making major decisions about their life because of Jesus.
I’ve been fortunate to be a part of all this. Now the rest of the church is going to be invited to get in on it as well. Student Ministry Team came up with this idea of having a worship service where the stories could be told…from the students themselves. And that’s what is coming on August 2nd. I’m amped to hear the God-stories from our students.
Perhaps this night will be an ebenezer of another kind for the rest of us, huh? Maybe we ought to have an all-church ebenezer night? I’m liking that idea…but for now – I’ll see you Sunday night.
Super Summer 2009 Video Clip
We’ll show this in the morning at church but it gives some pictures to what I was talking about yesterday.
Why Student Ministry Is STILL Important
Yes, I’ve been quiet over the last few weeks. A much needed time of recharging and DOING life instead of just writing about it.
This past year in Christian Education (don’t get me started on that term) circles there has been some debate over the need/effectiveness of student ministry in the ‘new culture.’ There is always room to critique and change HOW we’ve done student ministry. In fact, that should happen every year inside every youth ministry. We’re in the middle of doing that right now at Western Hills. That’s healthy, freeing, smart, and will force a team to keep their vision in the center versus their calendar.
However, to move to the point of saying we no longer need it but need to focus on adults instead is throwing out the baby with the bath water. I always thought that. After my experience yesterday…I’m even more convinced how important student ministry is inside a local church.
The fam and I loaded up and spent the day in Salina, KS where our high school students were spending Super Summer this year. 27 girls, 3 guys, 6 sponsors, and 2 nurses went from Western Hills. (Note to all Topeka area high school boys…do the math. That’s all I’m sayin’.)
Let me jot down my random observations of yesterday…
Brandon Gunn, our intern, is a freakin’ beast. I’m watching this guy explode in his giftedness and calling. He’s grown so much in his walk with the Lord over the last 5 months. I’m humbled and bless he’s a part of this team. Students talk…so do staff. And what they are saying about how he leads is good. Questioner, encourager, teachable, passionate, relational. All of that is good. But what is impressing me more about this young man is this – you can see him falling more in love with Jesus than student ministry or the church or students or a position. THAT is what being a great leader is really about.
Our volunteers get it. We’ve had 4 students trust Jesus as their Lord and Savior this week. I asked every one of them the same question yesterday – what turned the light on for you? What made it clear that this was the decision you needed to make? Every one of them mentioned one of our volunteer leaders. The music and the preaching and the atmosphere – helpful? Sure. But our adult volunteers made it clear. THAT is huge – another adult that isn’t mom and dad that they can unpack questions with and trust.
Shared experiences help create momentum. A couple of the students that accepted Christ wanted to be baptized immediately. I gotta be honest…I didn’t want to do it. That’s a big deal, didn’t want to steal that opportunity and moment from parents or our home church. It’s a huge celebration for us as a local church. I had my list of reasons.
Then I listened to their particular stories. I can’t/won’t get into the particulars here but it would have been more wrong and damaging of me to NOT baptize them in the lake at Webster yesterday. The whole time I’m hearing their stories, I KNOW that God is just hammering on my pride and list of reasons. HE’s telling me – shut up and obey me. Baptize these girls.
Our students are getting it. When we actually baptized them, I had the other students that were instrumental on their journey with me in the water. I told them that when they come out of the water, the journey is starting, not ending. Before we do this, I gotta know are you willing to keep walking on this journey with them AFTER they come up?
You could see the light bulbs come on. For many students, the youth group is the only context they have to walk with Jesus with other people. They may have complacent or even combative contexts when they go back home and if they don’t have others to walk with Jesus with, they’ll die on the vine. It stresses the importance of smaller groups of lifewalking than ever before.
What students really need in an adult volunteer… Spend a week at a youth camp, and you quickly feel your age. It’s exhausting – physically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s work. It’s fun, it’s awesome, it’s rewarding beyond words but there is no denying it…it’s work. And as an adult it’s easy to see what we DON’T bring to the table. We can’t run as fast or as long as we used to. We’re not as physically talented as we once thought we were. We aren’t as cool as we thought. All of these thoughts can get exposed when you spend time with students.
I honest believe that these thoughts are from the enemy. I don’t talk like that alot – maybe I should. But the reality is that teens need wiser, deeper adults around them. Someone other than mom and dad to listen, speak, and question Jesus in their life. Safe places for them to unpack their questions, to figure out their faith. They need to see it in somebody other than their parents. They don’t need an athletic trainer, a running buddy, someone who can win at sports or tug-of-war. That’s fun but not eternal.
And this is why student ministry is STILL important.
Last As Student Pastor
It’s been 10 days since I last blogged. It was good to have a break. Now time to break the fast.
Last night we had our Christmas Party/Junk Food/Gift Exchange Extravaganza. It was a blast. Couple of highlights for me.
First, commissioning Toby. I got Toby a real shepherd’s crook as well as a copy of My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I know I surprised him. Told him that every shepherd needed a crook. (There’s a joke in there somewhere…) They use it for three main things, first is to guide the sheep. A nudge there, a nudge there and they’ll go there – as long as they know your voice. Second is to rescue sheep. Their necks fit in the crook perfectly. The third thing – support. A leaning staff, if you will.
Which led me to the devotional by Oswald Chambers. My mom gave me my first copy of this book. I wore it out. I still have it. I still read it. It’s been the second single most important resource of my life (next to the Bible).
This is pretty much what I wrote to Toby inside the cover:
Pastoring is hard. No one tells you how hard it is when you start. You figure that out along the way. One of those sleepless, tossing, turning nights when you realize no other job did this to you.
Student Pastoring is double hard. Yes, it’s also twice the fun but it comes at high cost. No one tells you how alone you will feel at times. We know in our head we are not, but it doesn’t seem to translate at times in our stomachs.
And after doing this for all these years, I keep coming back to this simple principle: You are what you eat. Your best ministry will come out of the overflow of what you feed your soul.
This book has been a staple of my diet. Oswald has become a mentor, a Yoda for me within these pages.
That’s my prayer for you. Be a Yoda, dripping with Jesus.
And you’re not alone.
The coolest part of the evening – our gift from the students. It’s a huge book with notes and letters from them, scattered in there are pictures. What a great gift.
In a moment of irony, our first youth group (12th Avenue) did the same thing – gave us a huge book of notes and pictures – that I still have and display in my office.
I was asked after the party – “How does it feel to be done with your last official duty as a student pastor?”
I didn’t really have an answer at the time. I was just enjoying the moment and the party.
This morning…it feels awesome.
Here’s why…it’s what we’re supposed to do. Toby is exactly the right guy for Pinecrest. We’re exactly the right family for Western Hills. It’s all good and right. So I’ll miss the relationships – sure.
But I can’t help but think God is pleased with this whole process – the decisions, how the decisions were made, and how it’s all playing out.
And that’s awesome.
Great One Liners From Student Parking Last Night
For whatever reason…there were a lot of funny moments at Student Parking last night.
I will not provide context. Just enjoy…
“So…you’re saying they are redoing the Sonic in Elizabeth?”
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“This is it.”
“Alrighty then.”
“You can turn down the heat but you can’t turn off the hotness.”
“Some people actually think I’m intelligent.”
“Some people actually are idiots.”
“There are two kinds of people in the world…those that divide people into two different kinds of people and those that don’t.”
“Fo-Fo-Fo Shure.”
“And another thing I like about Oklahoma…”
“It’s not physically possible for him to keep fo—oh look, a squirrel.”
Fastbreak 2k8 Redux
It’s over, done, finished…at least the event is. Let’s hope the effect of it keeps working for a lot longer.
Here’s the quick hit of the weekend…
3 Sessions – snapshots of Jesus. His temptation (no shortcuts), his sermon (on the mount – extreme truth), his heart (sinners loved to hang with him – extreme grace).
2 hours on High Ropes course. Saw one kid scared to death of heights get in a harness, climb up, do one element then come down. Awesome job. Saw another kid scared to death of heights do the whole course then jumped off the leap of faith.
4 hours of volleyball, putt-putt, hiking, and tether ball.
4 outstanding meals.
Lots of hot chocolate.
1 night of smores.
1 Connect 4 tournament.
Some pics of the weekend.
Where Are The Workers?
Our student ministry is growing. I mean…really growing.
Last night we had close to 50 students, by far the largest night we’ve had at Pinecrest.
We had 3 volunteers. 3. THREE.
Granted, we were missing two because of Canadian Thanksgiving. (All this time I thought of Canada as our 51st state. Now that I have a Canadian on the team, I’m learning they are a sovereign country and have their own holidays in which families actually get together. It’s a shock. But I digress.)
Last night a well-meaning individual suggested to just “stand up in front of the church and ask for volunteers.” After all, we need workers, right? How much do you compromise just because you need the warm body?
Last night was crazy but it worked. Get the wrong person on the team and all of a sudden crazy turns into disaster. Crazy – we can deal with. Disaster – not so much.
We’ll take inexperienced people who are teachable. I have some great workers that can mentor/train for a season before throwing them to the deep end. But I can’t have people who already know all there is to know about student ministry and walk around like the Gestapo.
Or can I? Is that part of leadership? The vets shaping and discipling the Gestapo youth worker into something more, something deeper than what is there at the present? Do you take the chance of conflict for the possible reward of a great volunteer? Have I critiqued my own answer with these questions?
The 5 Horseman
This may be one of the coolest pictures around. Last week I spoke at Oasis which was being hosted at my old church, 12th Avenue Baptist Church.
Every youth pastor in the history of 12th Avenue was there – minus interims.
Here’s the lineup from right to left…
Phil Brown (1984-1993) – currently the Adult Education Pastor at 12th Avenue.
Russ Bauck (1994-1996) – on furlough, currently a missionary in the Philippines.
Grant English (1997-2002) – currently student pastor in Parker, Colorado
Reg Hamilton (2002-2006) – currently student pastor in Gardner, Kansas.
Danny Payne (2006-present)- current student pastor at 12th Avenue.
Here’s the coolest thing about the picture. I met every one of these men in the same year – 1997.
Phil came back to Emporia to perform a wedding, we grabbed some face time and it was one of those instant – “I like this guy and I don’t really know why” moments. When I got there in 1997, he still was remembered and spoken highly of. He made Russ’ and my life easy by creating a culture where student ministry was valued and fun.
Russ and Etta were raising money to go on the mission field when I first met them. They were in Emporia right before they left for the Philippines. We had dinner and again – instant “I love these people and I don’t know why” moments. Every year they come back for furlough, we manage to hook up and pick up right where we left off.
Reg was a youth pastor at another local church in 1997. His church, mine, and the Assembly church pulled off retreats, lock-ins, WOW Week and 5th quarters together all the time. It was the start of 3 great, deep friendships – Tony, Reg, and I – that still continue to this day.
When Reg resigned at his church across town, he came to heal up with us at 12th by serving on our youth team for the next year. 12th ended up hiring him after I left.
Danny Payne and I met at In Depth in 1997. Another instant click. We ended up serving time in Topeka together. Charges were later dismissed. Seriously, we served on the State Convention youth ministry board for 3 years together. Many a late night we have spent.
When Reg left, I recommended Danny to 12th.
So the picture is just more than the youth pastors of 12th Avenue but 5 deep friendships that are centered around our love for Jesus and teenagers.
Oasis: From Director To Sage
Opening Thought Questions:
Where do you put the weight of your leadership expertise?
Where do you invest the most of your leadership time and energy?
If you’re answers to these questions was anything other than yourself, I’d like to challenge you for the next few minutes.
If you spend the best part of your leadership time, expertise, and energy feeding the ministry beast – program, calendar, etc – your soul will die. You will never make it long term. You’ll be one of the statistics.
There is nothing more important than your own personal relationship with Jesus. Nothing. It may sound counter-intuitive but the best way to become a better leader is invest in your relationship with Jesus. It’s the only way to move from being a director to a sage.
By sage I mean a “Yoda.” Remember the first time you saw Yoda? Empire Strikes Back, little green guy comes waddling out of the swamp and you knew it….you KNEW he was the Jedi Master. The Force just dripped off of him. We waited over 20 years to see him pop out the light saber and when we did – we were like …”I KNEW IT!!!! Yoda is a STUD.”
He wasn’t cool, fly, hip – he just dripped with the force.
We need Yoda youth pastors who drip with Jesus. Don’t have to be cool, hip, athletic, smart. Just have to drip with Jesus. Our relationship with Jesus should ooze out of us like this. That’s what students need, not a calendar.
How to be a sage?
Find a sage, walk with him (or her).
Get deep – students need Jesus…the real Jesus. not a cool youth pastor. Get deep in the word, not pop theology but continue to dig deeper for yourself in the Word.
Get authentic. The more vulnerable you are, the more you’re going to see God work. Focus on BEING accountable to others, not keeping others accountable. Raise the vulnerability level on your team by you being vulnerable.
Get risky – go after the real issues that students are really dealing with – abuse, cutting, eating disorders, sexuality. Take them to the REAL Jesus.
Oasis: Intial Impressions
After the conference I was struck with a couple of things.
First – and I don’t say this judgmentally but a “it is what it is” thing – there seems to be more and more under-equipped pastors serving in our churches.
That’s not a slam on youth pastors. It’s a slam on two things – our seminaries/colleges and senior/lead pastors. Seminaries/Colleges are easy targets and I’ve come to the realization that there are some things they can do well (teach sound theology, Bible, skills, how to study, academics) and there are some they just don’t get and won’t get (practical life on life experience, leadership training, common sense).
The bigger slam is on the leadership culture and team of the local church. When a church hires a new youth pastor (any staff really), the primary job of that lead pastoral/elder team becomes developing and deepening that person you just hired. It means relational investment, professional investment. It means that a lead pastor’s primary job is NOT all the other stuff but investing in the life of his team and creating a culture around that team that develops people, not run the church.
And that’s what I heard this week…a bunch of guys in churches where the focus of the pastor/team is running the church, not developing people. And it’s killing their souls.
For me – it was a huge eye-opener and a moment of thanks for guys like Gene Wilkes, Mark Schartzman, and Ray Schwartz. Yes…we “run” the church but those guys spent just as much time in developing people. Especially, Mark Schatzman.
Second, because of this void, most church staffs are just as broken and dysfunctional as the families they serve. If a pastor can’t be real around the office because he has to walk on eggshells…that church is in deep weeds.
Third, this lack of leadership and authentic community around the staff team is the greatest crisis facing our churches – not the economic situation, political climate, or post-christian/modern/emergent/e-i-e-i-o garbage.
thoughts? comments?
Oasis 1: Seismic Shift In Youth Culture
This is the first part of what I presented at Oasis this week.
Just opening questions for us to start talking around the tables…
What’s been the most significant technological advancement you’ve seen in your life?
How has that affected youth ministry?
How could you leverage that technology in your student ministry?
How do you normally deal with change? Pioneer, settler, suburbanite, resistor?
Pioneer – lead the change, scares most people
Settler – first to accept and adapt to change
Surbanite – when change is easy and useful, then we’ll make change
Resister – change is painful, last to adopt
How do you think most teenagers deal with change? Most teenagers may be pioneers or settlers in how they interact with technology but in every other aspect of their life – they land on subarbanite or resister. If you don’t believe me, change how you do youth this week and pay attention to the reaction. It’s an odd paradox but it’s the perfect snapshot of today’s student culture.
I love teenagers. I think they are the most awesome frustration on the planet. That’s the same reason you guys do what you do. And change is just part of working with teens, right? Change is the only constant of student culture. But the last 5 to 8 years have been ridiculous…seismic.
And like all changes and shifts – some of it has been good, some of it has been bad, some of it has left us scratching our heads.
If I had to use one word it would be – complicated paradoxes.
Right – can’t use one word…here’s what I’m talking about.
Many paradoxes:
Huge sense of entitlement YET concerned about environment, Africa, and local needs.
Intensely TRIBAL in their focus (their own worlds, needs,ect…) yet GLOBAL.
More open and friendly, YET cliques are more than ever.
Jesus is cool to talk about, YET Christianity is NOT.
Value excellence YET raw, authenticity.
Truth is important but it must WORK, have teeth and compassion.
Hates fakes and hypocrites YET impossible for themselves to live a wholistic life.
Busier than they’ve ever been YET more bored than they’ve ever been.
The iTunes Approach to Life.
Not Wholistic in anything. You don’t have to buy the whole album, just what you want. Same approach to religion, family values, politics.
Money is tighter than ever YET there is always SOME available for entertainment of some sorts.
Authority and Experts are determined by relational proximity, not title or education.
How it’s playing out in student ministries?
That’s part of what we’re going to unpack the rest of the day. How is this playing out? What does all this mean? How can I stay focused and fed in the middle of this?
Let me throw out a couple observations to start the ball rolling…
First, there are no more experts. This past year Saddleback turned their entire youth ministry upside down, Kurt Johnson and the staff blogged about it all summer long. They punted some summer camps, started a life group/small group focus – spent the summer training volunteers to do small groups…launched them this month. Even the Big Boys are rethinking everything.
Second, the silo ministry model – where youth ministry functions as an island – it’s probably always been counter-productive at some level, but now it’s not even attractive to teens. They (students) need more than just entertainment and other teens and THEY know it.
Second, they love smaller/intimate because they can “try it before they buy it” BUT there must be a compassion/global flavor to it.
What this practically means is this – the front door to your church is not the front door. It will be compassion, Beautiful Day, mission projects or your Wednesday night (relational) context. Where ever you have an arena for conversations and interactions – that will be the heaviest attended function.
Lastly, now more than ever we need sages, not directors. I’ll unpack this in more detail this aftenoon – but teens have everything they ‘need’ from their culture except deep, meaningful relationships.
The Next 7 Days
I’m a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Here’s what the next 7 days look like for me.
Wednesday, Sep 24 – Pinecrest Youth, John 11
Sunday, Sep 28 – Pinecrest, 2 Services, John 1:35-54
Tuesday, Sep 30 – Oasis, KNCSB Youthworkers, 3 Sessions
Session 1: Seismic Shift In Youth Culture
Session 2: From Director to Sage
Session 3: Soul Care for the Sojourner
Wednesday, Oct 1 – 12th Avenue BC, John 2 (or whatever Danny tells me to teach on)
I’ll post more later on the Oasis deal. I’m amped about it for 3 reasons. First, I’m going to get to see a whole bunch of friends in Emporia, KS that I haven’t seen in years. It sorta feels like returning home, speaking at my first “real youth job” church.
Second, I get to hang out with some of the most incredible youthworkers on the planet.
Third, I get to see my Mom and Dad…and ask to borrow their car.
We’d Better Know The Difference
I’m not sure how I got to thinking about this…especially this week as busy as I’ve been. I’m speaking in a few weeks at a group of youth pastors in Kansas – maybe that’s why but something hit me yesterday as I was 40 feet in the air on an extension ladder hanging speaker wire. (Closer to God? Scared to death? Not sure…)
My first thought was this – what do you say to a room of youth pastors that they haven’t already heard? Maybe that’s not the point but I think it’s a valid question. I’ve sat through my share of boring seminars and talks – I don’t want to be that guy up front repeating what every other student pastor says when he gets asked to speak to a bunch of student pastors.
Then I started thinking – what do you need to hear? What’s been one of the most significant pieces of advice or insight that has shaped how you do ministry?
And I thought of Cindy Rhudy. Then of Mark Edwards. Then of Steve Boehm. And this made me think of other volunteers who became friends who became family that I’ve done youth ministry alongside. But those three came to mind because they were links in defining the single most important insight that has shaped me.
From Cindy Rhudy: Trust your volunteers. Learn from them. That’s a pretty good insight in and of itself, but it wasn’t the lynchpin. It did open the door for the next two people.
From Steve Beohm: If you can’t do what you want, do what you can. Steve and Beth wanted to be missionaries in China. That door got slammed in their face. Instead of being bitter about it – they brought the Far East to them – adopting foreign exchange students. They’ve had 4, putting a couple through college right now. All of them know Jesus.
From Mark Edwards: Knowing the Word is good. Doing it is better. Mark’s modesty will prevent him from saying this but he’s the genius that started the Under the Bridge project. He pushed, pulled, and poked me deeper into Christ just by walking in the room. His faith challenged me. It made me uncomfortable at times but I couldn’t ever resist spending time with him.
I had the noble aspiration to make sure students knew the Word of God. Not bad. But through the advice and insight of these three (and others) I learned…no…I EXPERIENCED something better than that.
It’s Jesus.
The real, messy, unpredictable Jesus. The real Jesus that gets in our mess with us… to redeem it and change us.
“They can’t know the real Jesus without knowing the Word.” That’s true.
But it’s equally true that it’s possible to know the Word and NOT know the real Jesus.
And as leaders of student ministries in this crazy phase of student culture – we’d better know the difference. More to the point, we’d better know how to connect the dots so that the knowledge doesn’t become the stumbling block of the relationship.
Well, what does that look like?
Looks like I need to spend some more time on some ladders…
Croatia, July 13
Sunday, July 13
On the docket was sailboating and parasailing. Both got cancelled due to the high winds. Instead we beat the snot out of each other on paddle boats in the middle of the Adriatic Sea. The hotel next to us had this cool little water play set…that big mountain in the middle is about 20 feet in the air. I was about to tackle it but they charge something ridiculous to use it.
Of course when you are in a foreign country – the money is all relative. When I pay for something here – their dollar is called “kuna” – I feel like I’m using monopoly money and singing “Akuna Matata.” Stupid American thing, I guess. The pic below this one is your typical coast on the Adriatic sea.
Evening session
I think it was the best so far.
We started by asking the questions – how do you see yourself? What is home? Are you an American in Croatia/Slovakia/Fill In The Blank or a Fill In The Blank that happens to have American citzenship?
What was interesting in the answers was this – just like American teens – they don’t really feel like they fit anywhere except with other teens. Culture plays a HUGE role in determining their identity – what is cool, what isn’t, what to wear, what to listen to.
What in your culture do you love? What is hard to embrace in your culture given your relationship with Jesus?
National pride came up quite a bit. All of these European countries have LOADS of it. It is both great and terrible.
We then shifted to John 9 where Jesus spits on the ground to make mud to put on the blind guy’s face.
I stole Erwin McManus’ line when he spoke about this story – “The guy is blind….not deaf.â€
Would you allow someone to spit on the ground to make mudballs to put on your eyes? Would a Jew allow someone to put their spit on them? Mud on them?
Most of us answered ‘no.’ Wasn’t because we lacked faith as much as we were too proud to let someone put their saliva on us. It’s insulting to our dignity. The only way what Jesus did was NOT insulting? If He was really God and really formed us from dust to start with. And unless we can see at the end of this exercise. So why in the world would a hearing, blind man allow Jesus to do this?
He’s trading his dignity, his identity for whatever Jesus has. That’s the key to dealing with culture. Are you willing to trade whatever dignity or identity you have for whatever Jesus has? You may get to keep some of it. You may not. We don’t get to make that call…He does. He may demand some of it to be cut off.
But do you love and want Jesus that much?
It’s one question we all have to answer for ourselves – parents can’t make it for us. Even if they moved us halfway around the globe for Him.