On April 3rd, we’ll start a new series called GOODsex. I told a buddy of mine this and after an awkward pause he says to me…”Can you talk about sex in church?”

I guess it’s a fair question. Most of the messages I got in church about sex was to “NOT TO.” It was this evil plague of desire and sin. And if you’re married…well, you can have sex with your spouse but you better not enjoy it too much because…well…it’s this evil plague of desire and sin. It was so bad that at every church potluck someone would bring a cake called “Better Than Sex Cake.”

Guess what I know now that I’m older? Sex is about desire, it CAN be a plague as well as a blessing, it’s designed for married people to enjoy to the fullest, and those people who named the “Better Than Sex Cake” are at best in need of our prayers and pity or at worst liars.

Know what else I’ve learned? The Bible is full of sex. God has plenty to say on the topic, all of it as relevant today as it has ever been, all for humanity’s benefit and pleasure. And so few of us are listening. So get ready to learn about GOODsex.

Let me tackle a few questions before we get started…

Why talk about sex in church?
Because it’s in every other single piece of media that we interact with. We’d better have a biblical, redeemable understanding of the topic if we are going to be able to deal with all of that kind of noise.

What about the children?
Every parent has the responsibility to train their kids in the area of sexuality. So we will have alternatives for those kids in 4th grade and younger, but let’s be honest. Sex is everywhere in our culture. Our schools are teaching sex education at younger and younger age. In Kindergarten and 1st grade now they are teaching kids what a “bad touch” is. Our media is targeting younger and younger kids with sexuality with kid ‘soap operas.’ Our music industry continues to turn out a ridiculous amount of music about love, sex, and dating.

In short, our kids are getting their messages and information about sex from every single source in their life except the Church and their parents. That has to change.

So…won’t you offend somebody by doing this?
That’s not the intention. However, the reality is that whenever sex is the topic – that’s a real possibility. Here’s what I’m saying – the goal is to learn from the creator of sex on how to have good sex in the best possible way. Sex was God’s idea. It was his first wedding gift to Adam and Eve. Over the years, we’ve ruined it and made it the mess that is today. I think He still speaks to this topic, can still heal and redeem in this area.

Why now?
Both our 5th/6th grade class and our student ministry will be tackling this issue starting April 3rd. But it’s short sighted to think that this topic only applies to teenagers. There is much here for the single, the daters, the engaged, the married with kids and the married without kids.

We’ve been silent for to long on this subject.

Take our current series (LIFE: Living Connected in a Disconnected World) for example. When we put this on the calendar (last year) it was a value decision. If Love, Live, and Serve are real values and really core, we are going to HAVE to teach on them…consistently and creatively. Not enough to JUST illustrate them, put them on the walls, in the bulletin, and in the announcements.

While the last 4 weeks of this series have been good, I’m amped about how we are closing out the series over the next 4 weeks. We’ve looked at the theoretical and practical implications of living connected and why it’s important. Now it’s time to hear some real life stories how a life group experience really changes people and how that change impacts the world around them. Here is the journey in front of us for the next 4 weeks. I’m super amped about the twist in the series!!

John Mark – how he discovers his identity and gifts.

Barnabas – how an investor of resources and time develops others.

Ruth & Naomi – how fierce loyalty and belonging led to believing.

Zipporah – how keeping others accountable led to the Exodus.

We are spiritual beings first therefore real meaning of life is going to found in the spiritual.

The best way to develop and deepen these spiritual relationships is in the context of a smaller group.

The purpose of a Life Group is to connect with God and others for the purpose of life change – to look more like Jesus.

2 Incomplete Small Group Experiences that get confused for a Life Group.

#1 – Ministry Teams – groups that are organized and function around a task.

#2 – Bible Studies – groups that are focused on knowledge.

It’s possible to be active in both of these of groups and never connect with God or experience life change.

The key to it all is authenticity. When we take off our mask and reveal who we really are – our hurts, fears, failures.

The mask we wear is a double-edged sword. We wear it because it does offer some form of protection. One of the greatest fears we have as people is if they knew who I really was, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

The same mask that offers a little protection is also the exact thing that prevents true healing. Jesus will always demand that the mask come off first.

Mark 5 is a tragic tale of an entire community that didn’t want to be authentic.

Authenticity will cost you something. It’s expensive. It’s worth it – but it does cost something.

Addiction comes in all sorts of sizes and packages. Some more acceptable than others, some easier to recognize than others. But all addictions have one end in mind – total dominance and control over a person. Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, porn, eating, greed, pride — the inevitable end of every addiction is to consume.

Addictions consume, control, and rob people. It becomes their god.

Paul’s journey in Romans 6,7, and 8 has great insight for addicts. I don’t do what I want to do but the evil I don’t want to do I do. The solution is to feed the “Good Wolf.” (Confused? Listen to the sermon! ha ha)

Romans 8:1 is the most scandalous verse in scripture. How ridiculous is it to say there is NO, none, nada — zip — condemnation for those IN Christ Jesus? Our bodies and emotions don’t believe this truth of scripture most of the time. Yet, this truth stands in the middle of our messes as God’s declaration of what He wants to do, WILL do and IS doing for those who place their life IN Christ. It’s nothing sort of scandalous.

It doesn’t remove our need for God AND our need for a place to share the LAST 10%. It does provide the basis for such a context – since there is no condemnation, I can BE accountable.

Next week: Anger

I was also totally surprised by how few people knew who Bear Grylls was. He is the patron saint of worrying about things that will probably never happen. I love his shows, his accent, his charitable works, and I think I’d like to hang with him — as long as I didn’t have to eat like him. I’m glad I showed the two clips of his shows because if I hadn’t – the joke/illustration would have completely been lost. Plus now our congregation knows the awesomeness that is Bear Grylls. Thank God for technology, huh?

Worry is sneaky because many of us don’t see it as a sin AND because it tricks us into thinking we have control over more than what we really do.

Worry is saying to God “I don’t think You are big enough to handle my problem.” Worry is the loss of perspective of big God is.

The weapon against worry – Matthew 6:33-34 — Seek first the Kingdom of God. Let God consume us and that will put in proper perspective our problems. God has given us a spirit of power, love, and a sound mind.

A sound mind is one that does what God asks me to do, gives to God what I cannot do, and trusts God no matter what happens.

I do think the ‘sound mind’ piece can often be missed. I have this conversation over and over and over again in all my years as a pastor — if you’ll do what you KNOW God wants you to do (His Word, serve, worship, give) it will be easier to recognize His voice when He speaks. If you NEVER do what is CLEAR that God wants us to do, you’ll NEVER recognize His voice in the more subtle ways.

Next week in Hostage is ANGER.