Why don’t most people ever get involved in a life group? Basically, I’ve heard of 4 reasons.

1. I’m too busy/tired.
2. I’m a private person.
3. My life is a complete train wreck right now and I don’t want anyone else to know it.
4. I don’t want to deal with other people’s train wrecked life.

Not all of them are bad reasons.

But I wonder if they have ever stopped to list the reasons they SHOULD join a life group? I started making a list with a buddy of mine this week. He was in the middle of telling me about his life group. Here’s what I jotted down just in his 5 minutes of telling me about his life group.

1. I have friends closer than family.
2. Every one needs a safe place to get a good cry in every now and then.
3. I get to see people healed.
4. It gets me downtown. (They serve once a month at the Topeka Rescue Mission.)
5. You can never have to many good recipes.
6. I get more hugs now than in my previously 50 plus years of living.
7. I get to help people move. (I personally think this should go on the other list. But hey…)
8. Free snacks.
9. Our house is being used to serve God.
10. We serve together as a family.
11. I don’t have another place to ask questions about spiritual matters.
12. Get to help raise other people’s kids and vice versa.
13. I give hope to younger parents that they are not in this alone.

Five minutes of conversation – 13 reasons. There was barely a pause.

Raising three kids of my own, I resonate with reason #13. There are days when I think there is no way I’ll ever be sane or cool or normal again. I know – some of you are wondering was I ever sane, cool, or normal. But that’s not the point.

The point is this – living connected in community is the key difference between a REAL life group and just a group of people getting together to study the Scriptures. I already know more scripture than I can apply. I need the community. The community makes me a better dad, husband, leader, and overall person. I need the community because by myself, I lose perspective. I need the community because raising kids is crazy hard. And I don’t know all that I need to know.

And in light of that, those other 4 reasons don’t seem so huge.

We are spiritual beings first therefore real meaning of life is going to found in the spiritual.

The best way to develop and deepen these spiritual relationships is in the context of a smaller group.

The purpose of a Life Group is to connect with God and others for the purpose of life change – to look more like Jesus.

2 Incomplete Small Group Experiences that get confused for a Life Group.

#1 – Ministry Teams – groups that are organized and function around a task.

#2 – Bible Studies – groups that are focused on knowledge.

It’s possible to be active in both of these of groups and never connect with God or experience life change.

The key to it all is authenticity. When we take off our mask and reveal who we really are – our hurts, fears, failures.

The mask we wear is a double-edged sword. We wear it because it does offer some form of protection. One of the greatest fears we have as people is if they knew who I really was, they wouldn’t want anything to do with me.

The same mask that offers a little protection is also the exact thing that prevents true healing. Jesus will always demand that the mask come off first.

Mark 5 is a tragic tale of an entire community that didn’t want to be authentic.

Authenticity will cost you something. It’s expensive. It’s worth it – but it does cost something.

As our actors so wonderfully asked — is this all there is to LIFE? I have a nagging feeling there is more to it than what I know and am experiencing.

Some of the nuggets said on Sunday morning…

Humanity’s search for happiness and meaning is hindered by two fatal blind spots.

First, we are spiritual beings with a body, not a physical being with a soul. Therefore, first priority should be given to our souls. More often, the physical/temporal gets priority over the spiritual/eternal.

Second, we were designed by God for intimacy. Relationships that are vertical and horizontal. It’s why the Greatest Commandment were about intimacy vertical (love God) and and horizontal (love others).

How Jesus established His ministry and His Church addresses these two blind spots. His focus on the Word of God and the use of a small group of disciples.

The decision to use a small group as basis for His Church and discipleship model was purposeful and still useful for the church today. And it’s why we do Life Groups at WHBC.

It is impossible to be mature in Christ without a small group experience. The large communal worship time is the appetizer to the main course. Live, Love, and Serve can best be incarnated in Life Groups.

Good start to what I think is going to be a fantastic series.

The Difference Between Discipleship and Spiritual Formation
Hardest conversation to get my mind around because I think too much definition distracts from the actual doing it. Technically – spiritual formation is Christ being formed in you and this is a ‘job’ that only the Spirit of God can do. He will use disciplines, life experiences when we yield/partner with Him. To ‘make disciples’ is pre-Christ for the individual. Once believer, then it’s Spiritual Formation.

My take — I understand and can appreciate the difference I just don’t think it matters to most people. I think the only people that need to have this defined are those who grew up in church and understand discipleship as a program that you go to. How many people at WH have this understanding of discipleship — it’s a building or program you go to? I’m not sure. We don’t talk that way or function that way.

What’s Your Path?
Where are you or at least WANT to take a person when they come to your church? The process of seeker, believer, member, leader? How do you push that vision to your church?

My take — It’s important to have a path, a vision. But that’s not what I’m pushing. I’m pushing ‘Live Connected.’ It’s the lynchpin. Therefore, I don’t have to sell the whole structure. This key for me — Don’t Sell The Whole Structure!!! We push Life Groups because that is the key place to Love, Live, and Serve. It’s the key place to connect with Jesus. It’s the key place to receive spiritual care, encouragement, to serve. I think leaders who push Life Groups then a leader training then this project then this add-on make things more difficult than necessary.

I want people to connect with Jesus. The best place is Life Groups. But what about leader development and training? I don’t push that on the whole church, push that on our leaders. It’s why we want an apprentice with every Life Group leader. That’s the messy part of leader development – it’s not a classroom but the life on life, in the trenches ‘training’ that is invaluable. The entry point to that process? The Life Group.

Membership? They don’t have to believe to belong. They don’t have to ‘join’ to connect. Get in a Life Group. If after that experience, you have a desire to join the church — great. If not — that’s cool too. How to recruit people to do mission projects? Recruit Life Groups to serve together. So instead of ‘selling’ each and every aspect of the plan, sell the Life Group – the entry point, the most important piece of the puzzle — getting connected to Jesus and other believers.

One of the biggest issues facing families today isn’t finances. It’s the quality of their marriage. The financial crunch is often times just the issue that exposes the cracks. With the divorce rate hovering around 66% both inside the church and outside, we’re beyond the ‘it’s a problem’ stage. It’s a crisis. An epidemic. The walking wounded go beyond than just the kids that are caught in the crossfire. It goes to the wife who is ashamed to tell her friends that her marriage is crap. The husband who is to macho to ask for help. The divorcee who refuses to return to church because that institution was at best silent on the issue – at worst, the judgmental voice that condemned him to live life disconnected from God’s people.

I’m amazed at real, gritty, edgy, raw and pointed most conversations in scripture are about marriage and how most churches speak about marriage in the exact opposite manner. That won’t be the case with this new series. I’ve told our congregation every week now that this series has a PG-13 rating and now is a great time to experience our children’s ministry.

But I know the shelf-life on a good message is about 3 days. Meaning – showing up and listening to a few sermons on marriage isn’t really going to help a marriage anymore than watching football is going to get me in shape. This is where our Life Groups could be a huge piece of the marriage healing puzzle. That’s why the result of this Turbo Group is crucial for us. It’s going to provide some contexts for people to get help.

One of the best ways to improve our marriage is to hang out with people who do have great marriages. Watch, observe, interact, be vulnerable with them. Listen. Do life with them. Wisdom is better caught than taught. And that is what a Life Group is – a context to hang with others, be vulnerable, get help and hope.