Posts Tagged ‘leadership ramblings’
Cutler’s Last Stand
This whole drama with Jay Cutler is fascinating to watch play out. Obviously, as a Bronco fan, I have a love/hate relationship with Cutler. Loved his talent and gun of an arm. Hated the way he acted his first few years in the league and how he handled himself in public.
I think the reaction that is coming out has very little to do with the injury and everything to do with how he has treated the media, fans, and teammates. To say Cutler isn’t tough or can’t take a hit is borderline insane. He took more hits and sacks this year than any QB in the league. Besides that, he played at Vandy. The boy can take a hit.
What he can’t seem to do is realize that there are other people in the world and that leadership is larger than what happens between the chalk.
If Cutler had stayed engaged, helped the other QB’s read coverages, call in plays, or even cheered a little, the reaction would have been next to nothing. But he didn’t. Instead he pouted, sulked, disengaged, and generally acted like that 5 year old kid that was made to eat his vegetables. THAT is the real issue with Cutler and will continue to be for the rest of his career unless there is some major attitude changes in him.
I’m coaching a 5th-6th grade girls basketball team this year and one of my players – while extremely talented – can get so distracted the first time one thing goes wrong. A bad call, a teammate not running the right play, getting fouled and not getting a call — all can send this girl into the Dark Zone. And I’m trying to help her see – hey, this is life. Stuff happens. Things break. It isn’t fair, it’s never going to be fair. Winners find ways to overcome, to deal with the situation in a redemptive way. Losers complain, pout, and generally make things worse.
I think Cutler was really hurt. I think the decision to pull him was out of his hands and in the hands of the doctors and trainers. But the decision to sit and pout and basically act like a 4-year old was his and his alone.
And that is what I think really ought to be critiqued.
We Can’t Fail On Follow-Through
Had this conversation this week with our staff and team. It’s something God is really taking me to the wood-shed about.
And let me start by saying that we are not sure exactly WHAT we are in the middle of. We’ve had 16 professions of faith this year – that we know of. We baptized 10 people last Sunday night. Our student ministry is busting at the seams. Our children’s ministry is revamping Sunday morning and AWANA this year. We have new adult Life Groups forming. Upward is larger than it’s ever been. It’s easy to see why I am so amped about the future.
However, no amount of success will overcome a lack of a meaningful relationship. And these relationships hinge on our follow-up and follow-through.
With all of the positives we’re seeing, the truth is we’ve dropped the ball a couple of times this year as well. Folks not getting connected with a ministry or a person that they’ve asked about, a forgotten email, text, or phone call. Is it really a big deal in the grand scheme of things?
Yes.
Let me make it personal – I’ve dropped the ball. I’ve made promises to call or email someone, to catch up for breakfast or lunch and then a couple of days turns into a week which turns into a month which turns into one awkward conversation when we have it.
And the missed opportunity is huge. If a man who up to this point has had no spiritual interest at all makes an effort to ask about a life group or a bible study, that’s a spiritual marker for him. For us to miss that marker by not following through — we’ve stunted his growth. We’ve missed the chance to advance his walk when he WANTED to advance his walk.
Now, the good news is people are seeing what Jesus is doing and want to be a part of it. But if we, as leaders, can’t figure out how to move them off the bench into the action, we are in deep weeds. No, that’s understating it – we are sinking the ship as she sails. We CAN NOT afford to fail in this area because follow-through is the foundation of developing and deepening other meaningful relationships.
Personally, I’ve been convicted lately of saying the words “I’ve been busy.” I am not going to use those words anymore. The truth is we are all busy and we all make time to do what we really want to do. When I say those words to someone what I’m really saying is this – “I am to busy for you.”
And that’s something I just can’t imagine Jesus would say. And if you are a spiritual leader, you don’t have the right to say it either.
Every missed follow-through opportunity – an email, a call, a text, a missed connection with the right person – is a church saying “We’re to busy for you.”
If you are a spiritual leader, here are some practical, simple steps that we can do to make sure we don’t drop the ball on follow-through…
1. Get stuff in WRITING. Don’t trust your mind to remember a conversation in the middle of a busy Sunday morning. Write it all down – contact info, the question, the need. Then do the next thing…
2. Do the legwork. Immediately if possible. If the issue isn’t your area of expertise or knowledge, GREAT!!! Tell them that then connect them to the right person. Face to face is best. Voice to voice is good. Email to email is fine but FOLLOW UP to make sure it happens.
3. The 24 hour rule. Nobody should have to wait longer than 24 hours for a response. Even if that response is — “Great question, I don’t know the answer. Can I do some research and get back to you in a day or two?”
4. Demand the same accountability of your leaders. If you are a leader of other leaders, make sure they understand the importance of follow through. Then hold each other accountable.
I’m a risk-taker. So if we try an idea and it doesn’t work – I can live with it. We’ll change it the next time. In fact, sometimes failure on an event can often be the seedbed for an awesome event later.
But not with follow-through. We can NOT fail at this.
Beyond the Starting 5
This post is the start of a writing safari, an experiment. I want to explore the idea of what people-development looks like in the local church. Why is it important? What will it do? What does it mean? Please be warned, I have little to no idea what I’m doing, your mileage may vary.
Anyone who has ever played basketball knows the starting 5 will only get you so far. The long term success of a season and a program depends on those beyond the starting five. Attrition happens. “That is the sound of inevitability, Mr. Anderson.” (Yes — I had to get a Matrix quote in somewhere.) There will be injuries, ineligibility, sickness, lack of performance, and who knows what else that will knock people out of the starting positions.
Every coach knows this. What separates the great ones from the not-so-great ones is how they prepare for this reality. The great ones develop and invest in more than just those starters. They are relentless in the development of every one of their players. Systems, offenses, defenses, training programs may change from year to year but what doesn’t change is their non-compromising focus on developing players. They know that a culture like that takes years to develop. They also know that if they didn’t develop other players, their program could fade into mediocrity or worse – oblivion – in just one season.
Think about it…the teams that are historically good -Duke, Kansas, North Carolina – have coaches that have established a system that is totally focused on developing players. The wins come as a result of developing players. They are intentional about it. They eat, drink, and sleep player development.
It’s easy to see this same principle play out in the local church. Churches that ‘get it’ and are making a long-term impact on their community are churches that are relentless on developing people. They turn their whole organization upside down to help develop people. The programs are just tools, the focus is on developing people.
Every single aspect of a church’s vision depends on developing people. Every single goal and idea is dependent upon this concept.
Think I’m wrong? Think that’s an overstatement? Have you read the Great Commission lately? This concept should not be a huge shock to most of us. The collision of the Great Commission and the Great Commandment is exactly what I’m talking about – making disciples because we love them. Developing people because we love them. Because God loves them. I mean, seriously, this should NOT be this much of a stretch to understand.
Yet, it obviously is. How many churches wishes they had more leaders? More spiritually deep people? How many churches are running their programs with a great starting 5 but no bench whatsoever?
I’m in the same boat, so don’t read this like I’m the expert. Far from it. So for the next 30 days, I’m going to try to flesh out this idea, try to find some handles on this concept and maybe in the process figure out what are some practical steps that we can take to create a culture where we focus on developing people more than anything else.
This isn’t just a mental exercise for me either. I’m a pastor of a church that is in this boat. We have some of the most incredible volunteer leaders on the planet. The problem is there is no one really beyond the starters.
And it’s true that means we are in deep weeds if anything should happen to them. Or they get tired. Or God calls them to do something else. But that’s not really a good reason to develop people. That’s a self-focused kind of reason that ultimately fails. It ends up being guilt.
It’s important to start thinking about this and start doing something about it because to NOT to is to reject the Great Commission. To not start developing people is an utter failure in making disciples. And making disciples is different than running a great program.
It’s possible to run a great program and never make a disciple. It’s real easy to confuse the two…and I think that is where I’ll start tomorrow.
The Ongoing Safari of Beyond The Starting 5
Running the Program or Developing People
I Can See Clearly Now…
Obstacles and Developing People In The Church
The Starting Blocks of Beyond The Starting 5
I’m Looking For A Raft
RAFT, Part 2
Tuesday Morning with my Leaders
Last month we looked at Mark 10. This month, Mark 11:1-26.
These were some of the thoughts shared this morning…
The same people that sang praises and Hosannas would sing Crucify in 6 days. Easy to blame fickleness on culture but these people weren’t just ‘culture.’ They were ‘believers’ of a sort, believers that Messiah had come and the time was now. Their expectations obviously weren’t met, hence the rejection of Jesus later in the week but the temptation to ‘revolt’ when my expectation isn’t met is there for me as well. Sometimes…often times…it is a good thing my expectation isn’t met. In the words of C.S. Lewis – I dream too small at times.
Jesus’ first order of business after the hype was the Temple Courts, not Pilate. This had to be the ultimate failed expectation of the crowd – Jesus going to clear the Temple Courts instead of the governmental office, Pilate, and the army. The Temple was home of worship, ‘good’ leaders, ‘moral’ leaders, their only sacred space in a world that had been taken over by the Romans. Why pick on the Temple leaders? Revolution was going to be different, not political or exterior but interior, spiritual, deeper, more dangerous than just kicking out Rome.
Jesus knew what he was going to do but waited one night before He did it. He curses the fig tree (more on that later) then goes to the Temple, sees that it was late and decided to come back in the morning. So Jesus whipping the Temple Courts into shape wasn’t a reactionary moment but a planned, thoughtfully bold move to rebuke and teach.
The cursing of the fig tree was visible reminder to the disciples of what is expected of them as leaders. Produce fruit. Doesn’t matter that the tree was in season or not, it was supposed to have shown some kind of hope to bear fruit. The Pharisees are linked to this tree – looks aren’t important – fruit is. The only way to produce fruit is to stay connected to the vine.
Faith and forgiveness are linked…somehow. Why does Jesus link his teaching on faith that moved mountains to forgiveness? What is the connection? Do our prayers lack power not so much because we lack faith but because we haven’t practiced forgiveness? As leaders, we will constantly deal with people failing to meet our expectations as well as us failing to meet theirs. Only way that situation is redeemable and fruit can be made in the middle of it is we have a culture of forgiveness. Maybe my prayer as a leader lacks power because I haven’t let go of some ‘injustice’ or failed expectation.
There is a time to be thoughtfully bold. Jesus moved boldy but not recklessly. It was a calculated risk. There was no other action he could have done to better communicate the kind of revolution he was really starting – one of the heart, not of policy. There was no better course of action to completely and utterly shatter the expectations of those following. Three things that strike me about clearing the Temple Courts. First, it was timely. Start of Passover Week, high crowds, high teaching moment. Second, it was bold.
But those two alone aren’t enough. It was morally right. That’s the key – it was the right thing to do, knocking down unnecessary barriers for those to get to God.
Loving this journey with the crew.
It’s Not Just About The System, People Matter
I gotta be honest…Kurt Warner’s retirement bums me out a bit. He has played outstanding football the last two years, resurrected his career again in Arizona, and once again took a laughable franchise and made them formidable. You know the numbers right? 1 Ring, 3 Super Bowls, 2 MVPs, top three passing yards games in Super Bowl history.
Did you know that he and has family have a tradition that when they go out to eat, they pick out another family in the restaurant and pay for their meal? True story – his family was eating out during Super Bowl week last year and they picked this family, paid for their meal. Soon afterward, a very large black man came over to Kurt and said “I can’t believe you’ve done this. You are so gracious. I really look forward to playing you on Sunday.” He was a player on the Pittsburgh Steelers.
The point I’m trying to make is this – it’s not just about the system, people matter. Can you imagine the state of the Arizona Cardinals without Warner? Leinart running that same team is a complete disaster. The Cardinals become the Seahawks without Warner and unless something major happens between now and the draft – like say McNabb moving in – the Cardinals can enjoy the bottom of the NFC West again.
And Warner did this with two franchises – made them better because he was there. There is a certain coach in Denver that I hope gets this — the system will only be as good as the players in it. And the same is true for any organization. The system is only as good as the people.
I’ll miss Kurt. He was one heck of a competitor.
You Don’t Have To Sell The Whole Structure…
I think it’s awesome that God sometimes ‘themes’ our weeks. Like this week – I’ve had 4 different encounters with other leaders and as Divine Coincidence would have it, all of them centered around the same topic – discipleship, spiritual formation. How does your church do this? How do you define it? How do you ‘sell’ it to the congregation? Is it working? Here are the nuggets from these conversations…
The Difference Between Discipleship and Spiritual Formation
Hardest conversation to get my mind around because I think too much definition distracts from the actual doing it. Technically – spiritual formation is Christ being formed in you and this is a ‘job’ that only the Spirit of God can do. He will use disciplines, life experiences when we yield/partner with Him. To ‘make disciples’ is pre-Christ for the individual. Once believer, then it’s Spiritual Formation.
My take — I understand and can appreciate the difference I just don’t think it matters to most people. I think the only people that need to have this defined are those who grew up in church and understand discipleship as a program that you go to. How many people at WH have this understanding of discipleship — it’s a building or program you go to? I’m not sure. We don’t talk that way or function that way.
What’s Your Path?
Where are you or at least WANT to take a person when they come to your church? The process of seeker, believer, member, leader? How do you push that vision to your church?
My take — It’s important to have a path, a vision. But that’s not what I’m pushing. I’m pushing ‘Live Connected.’ It’s the lynchpin. Therefore, I don’t have to sell the whole structure. This key for me — Don’t Sell The Whole Structure!!! We push Life Groups because that is the key place to Love, Live, and Serve. It’s the key place to connect with Jesus. It’s the key place to receive spiritual care, encouragement, to serve. I think leaders who push Life Groups then a leader training then this project then this add-on make things more difficult than necessary.
I want people to connect with Jesus. The best place is Life Groups. But what about leader development and training? I don’t push that on the whole church, push that on our leaders. It’s why we want an apprentice with every Life Group leader. That’s the messy part of leader development – it’s not a classroom but the life on life, in the trenches ‘training’ that is invaluable. The entry point to that process? The Life Group.
Membership? They don’t have to believe to belong. They don’t have to ‘join’ to connect. Get in a Life Group. If after that experience, you have a desire to join the church — great. If not — that’s cool too. How to recruit people to do mission projects? Recruit Life Groups to serve together. So instead of ‘selling’ each and every aspect of the plan, sell the Life Group – the entry point, the most important piece of the puzzle — getting connected to Jesus and other believers.
Harvest Report
The journey of the Harvest thus far:
The Past 30, The Next 30
A Little Sacrifice Now…
Why The Debt And Why Now
Exodus 36:5
A Gentle Rebuke
So what happened Sunday? We had over 17k dollars come in towards the debt…which means there is 19k left…which means in the span of 9 months we’ve gone from 100+k in debt to 19k…which means we are on track to be debt free for 2010. Praise God.
The point of it all was not to just get out of debt to get out of debt – which would have been reason enough. The point is for us – the Church – to start putting our money where our vision statement says we put our money – helping people. Being out of debt allows the church to spend money on ministry, in people, helping others.
Next series – whyChurch?
Discipleship In An Instant World
I was at Oasis today in Emporia. Oasis is a one-day refreshment for area youth pastors and Danny Payne has hosted it the last two years. He asked me to come lead a round table discussion.
Instead of having an outline of points to make, I had questions. Here was the list I brought…
Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
What’s the end game look like? What does maturity look like?
I challenge you to answer those questions before you read much further. At least think on them for 10 seconds.
Okay, I know you didn’t answer them but I’m going to keep writing anyway.
Who can be discipled by you?
How much time do you really have per month to do face to face, 1 on 1 to 3 discipleship?
I only really get 2 to 3 hours a month 1 on 1 with whomever I’m discipling. Serving together is important, doing ministry together is huge but face to face, 1 on 1 conversation time is alarmingly low. That fact alone stresses the importance of being selective in who we disciple. They have to want it as much as you want to give it. They have to be exercising/serving somewhere. For me, they also need to be in a life group – preferably the same one I’m in.
Why do I have all those strings attached? Because if I’m only going to have 2 to 3 hours of 1 on 1 time, we’re going to need more time together. And serving with each other, in the same Life Group, same Bible study just multiplies the effectiveness of that 2 hours of face time. It makes it more like 14 hours a month.
What skills do you want a person to have after spending 6 months with you?
Heard lots of good answers to this question – vision of ministry (love God, live connected, serve in Jesus’ name), an increase hunger for the word of God. The big thing for me is this – movement. I just want to see some movement. Doesn’t necessarily have to be what I wanted it to be but it needs to be something. A change in habit, a change of opinion, an openness to discussion – something. I want to see something in 6 months that clues me in this is a valuable investment of time.
What key questions should you be asking every time you sit down with a leader?
What’s the focus of the questions you ask the people you are discipling? Are they program/ministry questions or are they soul care questions?
This series of questions had the most ‘oohh, ouch’ moments for us. I constantly have to remind myself that my primary aim in discipleship is SOUL CARE, not ministry care. It’s not a sidebar team meeting to figure out how to better run the ministry. Asking questions about ministry allows us to remove the focus from our heart to external things. I need to ask questions that focus on the heart, the soul.
Some of the good questions that came out:
How’s your soul? Mountaintop? Valley? Rut? Stuck? Climbing? Falling?
How’s your relationship with your spouse?
What’s the biggest victory/celebration point in your life?
What’s the biggest frustration right now?
What is God showing you in the scriptures right now?
What challenged you about the last sermon/bible study/life group?
What do you see in my life that you want?
What do you see in my life that I need to change or at the least think about?
What does the journey look like for you? What does maturity in Christ look like?
This was actually tougher to answer than you think. The list at first was pretty task oriented – read more scripture, memorize scripture, able to feed themselves spiritually, know their gift, use their gift. Good stuff but honestly, we can get those things from a large group Bible study or life group. I’ve touted many of those things on the list. But it’s possible to do the list and be no closer to looking like Jesus.
This hit me during our Ephesians study at church – Paul’s answer to what maturity looked like is found in Ephesians 4:1-6. Here’s the short list:
Completely humble
Completely gentle
Completely patient
Bear with one another in love
Keep the Unity thru peace
So that’s the goal for both of us. That means when we sit down and we talk, we’re looking at how to improve in these areas – humility and gentleness being the sledge hammer for me. Actually…patience is another one.
What’s Next or What’s Now?
A new read of mine is Perry Noble’s blog. He’s the lead pastor at a church called New Life in Carolina. HUGE mega church but he’s always an entertaining read. This morning he was a slap upside the head – doh! kinda read.
Here’s the line from his morning post that banged me up pretty good:
I personally believe that if church leaders are going to LEAD their churches to accomplish their full potential we are going to have to stop begging God for more opportunities and actually begin to maximize the ones He has already placed in front of us. Why would He trust us with what’s “next” if He can’t trust us with what’s now?
He’s right. And those words were crucial for me to hear…this morning…today. He won’t trust us with what is next if He can’t trust us with what is NOW.
I know Perry was talking about church leadership…and it’s easy to see the application. Focus on the basics, the ‘big rocks.’ Do what you CAN do now the best that you can. Don’t get distracted with other ‘good’ things if you can’t do the main thing well. I think every ministry team can use that in their area.
But what really got to me this morning was how it applies in our families. I’m prepping the next sermon in the Ephesians series and it’s the children/parents, slaves/owner passage. Train up your child in the LORD, NOW. Not next or when you have time or when it gets easier (it doesn’t) or when they are older. Focus on the NOW.
Let God take care of the NEXT.
A Little Sacrifice Now…
…will lead to a big payoff later.
I know this principle applies in multiple areas – sports, education, leadership – but for us we’re applying to the Harvest and the reduction of debt at Western Hill. We’ve called for the church to spend the month of September in prayer – to seek God’s wisdom as to how each of us at WH needs to participate above our normal giving. October we’ll bring it all in.
As we sat around the Creative Team table this week, I was asked to share the decision we’ve made as a family concerning the Harvest with the rest of the church. Giving is one of those areas that I’m always nervous talking to people about. It’s like talking about politics…eventually you’re going to offend somebody.
However, I’m more convinced that the Church is capable of impacting and helping the culture like no other organization in history. We exist to help others in the name of Jesus. Because of the Church’s volunteers, we’re able to do so much more with so much less. I realize this isn’t true of every church and that some (some would argue most) churches exist only to perpetuate themselves. But that’s not true of WH and I think more and more churches are getting the big picture.
That’s why I’m not as bashful asking for money now days. I know how we are going to use it and it will go to helping people. We bought appliances for a single mom last week, we regularly give away grocery cards. We’re helping a local school, a Hispanic church, a Native American mission, and not to mention our Upward sports.
The point is, as long as we understand that getting rid of the debt in and of itself is not the point but ministry is – we’ll be okay. Anyway I can help people see that clearer – I’m all for. Even if it means a few minutes of uncomfortableness telling everyone how we’re giving.
So what are we doing? We’re giving up our weekly night out as a family. We normally grab a night at Qdoba – that money for the next months will go to the debt. Also Amy’s paycheck from working from the school – a sizeable portion of that will go towards the debt as well. Gary talked about how he and Nancy we’re reallocating some of their budget that had either been paid off or no longer needed to the debt.
And so we start. I’m looking forward to hear what God is saying to the rest of us.
The Past 30, The Next 30
30 days is a deceiving amount of time. Not enough or too long?
The Past 30
We celebrated 6 new believers. Had 4 new families join. Went Down Under with VBS. We revamped our student ministry. We invaded McCarter Elementary with over 1,000 school supplies. We made close to 100 nap mats for McCarter Kindergarten. We were invited to the first day of school over there to help pass them out. We hired a worship leader. Baptized 3 more new believers. Started training the next set of Life Group leaders in our Turbo Group. Almost done with the Bylaw revision. Said good-bye to Brandon (youth intern) as he goes off to finish his degree.
The Next 30
We’ll be done with the Bylaw revision. Done with the Turbo Group. Have at least 2 new Life Groups for people to connect to WH through. Have our new members class up and running. We’ll start our “I Want A New Marriage” series. And as impressive as each of those things are…it’s not really what I’m most amped about.
Yesterday, I challenged our congregation to spend the entire month of September in prayer about participating in eliminating the remaining debt at Western Hills. We want to start spending that money on ministry instead of sending it to the bank. After praying with our leaders for the past few weeks, I’m convinced now is the time to get rid of the remaining 73k in debt. It’s time because of the economy, because we are at a tipping point in our church, and because we’ll never a lasting impact on our community as long as we are in debt.
Here’s the truth of matter though – I’m just as excited about this month of prayer as I am the actually harvest. It’s 73,000 dollars. In God’s economy, that’s not a lot. I’m convinced He has the resources to deal with it. I’m more excited about what happens when God’s people humble themselves before the Lord to listen to HIS voice. I KNOW God is going to speak to us about more than just our finances.
That’s what is going to be amazing about the next 30 days. Listening to God…
Room Full of Leaders
Last night our house was invaded by twice as many people as we expected for our Turbo Group. Basically, it’s a room full of people who are passionate about God and people and want to be better at leading our Life Groups. We talked about the need for community, the obstacles of having it, the 5 key disciplines that have to happen in a Life Group for community to happen.
It was a humbling start to the process of creating a culture that reproduces fully-devoted followers of Jesus. At church that morning, we took the sign up list which only had 12 names on it and started adding up who told us they were coming. It topped out at 31. Amy asked me – how in the world are we going to get 31 people in our house? In the same room?
“I have no idea. I’ve never had 31 people want to show up for something like this. Are these people normal?”
No, they’re not normal and that’s exactly the way we like it.
Eggshells
One of things that I’m starting to see and feel happening at WH concerns eggshells. As in walking on them. I’ve never been very good around eggshells. (insert your sarcastic comment here, Wayne.) I don’t even like it as a color.
It’s loosening up here. That’s a good thing. But I’m surprised/not really/scared as to how much influence I have on that just because I’m the lead pastor.
I’ve read and heard all the leadership maxims that say “the leader sets the emotional tone for the organization.” I love Tom Peters and Seth Godin believed that…I just have never experienced it like this before.
I’m normally the first one to crack a joke, poke fun and in general goof off in a group. The larger the group, the more likely I’m the clown that’s being the distraction. I’m also normally the first one to be okay with my idea being tweaked, changed, or completely discarded. It’s the ADD. But these things are also the key components in creating an eggshell-less culture.
Is there room to push? Is there room to disagree in laughter? Is there room to get the desired outcome in a different way than originally thought? When I’m challenged, do I first think of self-preservation or think of what is going to better advance our mission at WH? Is there room for people to change their minds, surrender with laughter and honor? Is there room for ‘that’s better than my idea?’
If so – you’ve got the start of something special and wonderful. I do think this is one of those key areas of why I’m at Western Hills. Honestly, there were other guys that could teach better, look better, more organized and more experienced. But in terms of creating a culture where the vision wins, not personalities or titles? That’s my thing. When you constantly work with volunteers that are older, wiser, better, and smarter than you – you have to function that way or you’ll die without friends. And I’ve worked with some old people. 
I’ve seen the other side as well. Easily offended, gets defensive fast, reacts quickly with little thinking, and responds with extremes – sets the whole thing to be Eggshell City. Besides that, people can’t/won’t stay in that kind of drama for very long. The only people that do are others that love the drama…and that’s a recipe for disaster.
So for a church that’s been wounded, it’s good to see the eggshell walking decreasing immensely. They are awfully hard to dance on.
Leadership Lessons…So Far
What I’ve learned thus far….
1. I’m not going to accomplish half the things I thought I would this year.
I’m not sure if this is because I’m the only paid pastor on staff or just the normal course of transitioning for a new pastor. Maybe both. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing either. It’s made me be more purposeful in deciding where to put leadership energy and resources.
A couple of mentors have told me repeatedly – “Your first year agenda needs to be – love on people, preach the word, ask questions, make some disciples. That’s it. You’re there for the long haul.” Sounds easy enough, right? It’s not. It’s great advice and I’m trying my best to follow it…but there are times when I just want to “DO SOMETHING!!” Which leads me to number 2.
2. You can’t do everything that comes down the pipe.
Let others lead. Give opportunities to others to lead. Yes, somethings will fail miserably. Yes, there will be some falling through the cracks. But don’t own every single thing that comes across desk. When you do start something, finish it. Keep at it. Don’t give up. Keep working. Slow is better than stop.
3. Don’t confuse insight with leadership.
It’s easy to spot problems. It’s easy to spot holes in the system, things that are quite done right or perfectly. It’s easy to see the problems. The ability to see those problems doesn’t make a good leader. It makes a good critic.
Leaders see opportunities….solutions…possibilities. Leaders are willing to put shoulder to the plow to fix it. Leaders WORK the problem, not escalate the drama or create crisis. Secondary principle here for me is this – empower leaders, not critics.
I’ve got more but these three stuck out to me this morning.
22 Days of Prayer: Leadership
For the background, you can read here.
2 minutes @ 2pm for 22 days
This week – leadership. When we talk about leadership, we really mean followership. We want to be able to say the same words as Paul – follow me as I follow Christ. So any leadership starts first with following Jesus. No exceptions.
So we start with questions – how am I following Jesus? At work? At home? At school? Are there places in my world I don’t follow Jesus in? What does it mean to follow Jesus? What does a growing follower of Jesus look like? If I wanted to start following Jesus, what steps would I take? Where do I start? How do I continue?
There is a small group of us wrestling with these questions. We don’t have hard pressed answers right now. We’re still wrestling with some concepts but this week, I’ll unpack some of what we’ve discovered as you do the same here.
For today – leadership starts with following. The first question is – who are you following? If it’s not Jesus, then who or what? Why not Jesus? What do you think following Jesus looks like for you?
Paradigm Shifts
Quick definition for my sanity – a paradigm shift is a change of thinking, change in doing things. Often it’s a big one – like moving from PC to Mac. (Had to get a cheap shot in there…)
I got to see one happen this week. A group of us were talking about leadership in the church. What does a spiritual leader look like? What is the starting point of a leader? Who can be one? How are they developed? Good questions that will take us some time to unpack and refine. One particular question provided the paradigm shift moment. What is the starting point of a spiritual leader? “They should be a believer of Jesus.”
I smirked a bit and asked permission to push back a little. So when did the disciples become believers? Could there be a scenario that we would walk alongside a non-believer for the purpose of developing them into a spiritual leader? There was a pause. Hadn’t thought about it like that. When put that way it’s completely different, isn’t it? Absolutely we would. We’d call it discipleship or evangelism or lifewalking but absolutely we’d walk with a non-believer on that journey. And the shift happened.
The actual discussion point isn’t what really got my attention in that moment. Seeing the shift happen in a non-combative atmosphere did. Often times a paradigm shift is threatening and combative. I don’t think it needs to be or even should be this way, but more often than not it plays out that way. Part of the reason is because I’m put in the place where I have to let go of something that has been secure for so long because I finally realized it’s either false or unhealthy or unproductive. Basically, I have to say – “I was wrong about this.”
But what made this shift different? A couple of things that I honestly wish I’d learned sooner…
1. There wasn’t an agenda being pushed. We were just talking. We weren’t trying to craft policy or start a program. There was no huge issue on the table we were working through, just talking about leadership with no agenda or program hanging in the balance. Why is this important? Because I think when there is an issue/agenda/program on the table, the bigger questions get lost in the scuffle to protect the issue.
2. There was a high level of trust around the table. This alone doesn’t make paradigm shifting easier…but it helps. The flip side is this – if there isn’t a high level of trust, the shift is almost impossible to make.
3. We had permission to push. Big principle here…if you don’t have permission to push back, do so at your own risk. In Little Rock, we had a tight, close pastoral team between Row, Mark S., and I. We banged on each other all the time. It was good. But we learned some painful lessons as we tried to expand the team and allow others into that arena. Not everyone wants to be pushed. And if you do push and they aren’t ready…they’ll push back in unhealthy, dangerous ways. Or they’ll leave in unhealthy ways. When that happens, it’s like trying to glue back together a vase that’s been busted into a million pieces.
So if you don’t have permission to push, do you just not push? Settle for status quo? That’s not a good option either. Eventually leaders push. They just do. They can’t NOT push. Good ones invest on the relational side first, keep asking permission, and then push.
4. It would have been okay for the shift not to happen…for now. This lesson has been the hardest to learn. Am I okay with God taking His time in the life of another person? I know I am with me. I love it when God takes his time with me and is patient. It’s frustrating when He treats everybody else that way. That means I have to wait on Him…and that’s not fun. If this person had walked away disagreeing, it would have been fine. There was no agenda/issue to be won or pushed. The world wasn’t going to end. Western Hills wasn’t going to implode.
Are there times when you have to push hard and force the issue? I’m sure there are but the older I get, those times seem to be far fewer than I thought when I was younger. It’s the Spirit’s job to change and transform people. Not mine. I don’t have to have the last word.
Leadership Summit Preview
Went to Leadership Summit lunch today. It was a preview of this year’s Leadership Summit.
Highlights of the day for me…
Riding with David Manner.
David Manner is our interim Worship Pastor. He’s also a long-time acquaintance that is fast becoming a deep friend. Great think time.
Reconnecting with Merl Mees
Merl was pastor at Western Hills for 17 years. I almost went to work with him/for him/on him. We laughed pretty hard today and he’s one of those guys you can hit 900 mph with almost instantly. Every time I talk to him, I learn something. The fact that he gives me that kind of access still astounds me.
Hearing Tim Keller will be at the Leadership Summit
Tim Keller preached the one sermon that rocked me most – Seek to prosper the city. He’s got another one in the works concerning Luke 15 and the two prodigal sons.
Bono, part 2
Bono will be at the Leadership Summit again this year. His first trip was in 2006 and he ripped the church for ignoring AIDS and Africa. Bill asked him back for a report card check. Bono agreed and sent a video tease as well.
“I knew the church was a sleeping giant, wondering what or who would wake her. What I wasn’t prepared for was how fast the giant could move.”
I’m planning on going…who wants to go with?
August 6-7, 2009.
Monday’s Aren’t Great…unless you have them off
I closed the office yesterday. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday is worthy of the office being closed. Especially for a church.
But normally Mondays aren’t a great day for pastors. Drained from Sunday, dealing with all the ‘what ifs’ and realizing that you get to start it all over again this week.
I remember Mondays being particular hard for Al – my senior pastor in Emporia. Especially in the winter. Al was the author of some of the greatest advice I’ve ever received. I asked once if he felt that bad, why didn’t he just take Monday off.
If I feel this bad, I might as well work.
I used to think – what’s so horrible about Mondays? I don’t get it. I think I’m getting it now.
It’s not the blank sheet of paper that represents next week’s sermon. At least for me it isn’t. I love that part of this calling – the studying, the crafting, the digging, the listening, the wrestling with God during the week. That’s the great part. I’m guessing that most teachers/pastors would agree.
It’s not the touches of ministry – grabbing coffee with someone who is struggling to hear God, grabbing face time with a leader who is trying to be more effective in ministry, praying with a family who is facing a health crisis, or listening to someone tell their story. Those can be time consuming but more often than not – it feeds your soul.
It’s the ‘organizational junk.’Â The nuts and bolts of the machine that we call ‘church.’Â The by-laws are out of date, need to be rewritten, our organizational structure needs changed, the processes of ‘said’ ministry needs to be revamped.
Every church I’ve ever been in has had it. So it’s not exactly this great big secret.
That is what looms so large on Monday mornings…or Tuesdays if you happen to have Monday off. Those things seem larger than what they really are on those mornings. If I’m not careful, I’ll let it consume me an steal me from what I’m really called and equipped to do. If we’re all not careful, they’ll take center stage and begin to define us instead of us defining them.
Saying No
I’m in an undisclosed coffee shop this morning. Sunday is coming and I’m not as far into my sermon as I’d like to be.
I’ve no one to blame but myself. Meetings. Touches. Contact. Relational ministry. There is much good with this kind of leadership and ministry. The down side – pace. And being new in a church that hasn’t had any staff for 3 months, no lead pastor for over a year – I can feel the void that was left. People are starving for someone to have a conversation about ministry, someone to care and encourage and listen. I get that.
I also get that if I show up on Sunday with nothing to say – it’s not going to go well. Row jacked me up pretty good via email about pace and saying no and creating holy spaces of nothingness in the schedule to allow God to speak and lead me. I know these things. I just didn’t do them this week. Rookie mistake.
I’ll get another chance to try again next week.
Job Searching
Since I posted this, I’ve had a few offline conversations about it. Chris Ediger has picked up on it.
Dad (Amy’s Dad) and I were talking about last night – even though it was a neat thing to have the search team hang out and meet with the current church’s leadership – it’s rare. And not every person is in a situation that would allow them to have that kind of openness.
My prayer is that we’ll be able to create that kind of environment at Western Hills (I think we can). It’s healthy and it’s Kingdom focused, not tribe focused.
Questions for Churches
I’ve had a couple of you email me asking me what questions did I ask Western Hills.
Here they are…
If you were forced to describe Western Hills (as she is today) in a single word, what word would each of you use? What words would you use to describe what you would like her to be?
What has been the biggest lesson learned in the last year?
As you dream about the future, what do you think is the greatest opportunity ahead? What do you think will be the greatest obstacle in getting there?
If money were no object, what would be the one thing you would want to do this next year?
What does ‘success’ look like for your church?
How are decisions made at Western Hills?
Tell me of a ministry decision where there was sharp disagreement and how that was worked out.
What kind of voice does your current staff have in the hiring of the next pastor?
If for some reason Western Hills burned to the ground, how would the community around you be affected?
Every church and culture has a set of unspoken values and ‘rules.’ What unspoken insights does the next pastor need to know?
How is Western Hills currently involved in both local and foreign missions?
What would you say are the biggest needs of your city? How is Western Hills addressing those needs?
Relational Nature of Church?
This is becoming one of those posts that is gaining a life of its own. In the comments I made this observation – the double edged sword of working with non-profits.
Volunteers are the life blood of any non-profit. A good volunteer can be worth two paid workers. They are there because they believe in the mission (ideally) of the organization. It’s impossible to put a price tag on that kind of dedication.
The flip side of this is that you can’t fire a volunteer. Not without some heavy consequences. Why would you want to get rid of a volunteer? Same reasons companies fire workers – unproductive, cancer on the team, personality conflicts, can’t get on board with vision, whatever. To remove a volunteer comes at a high cost in terms of relational equity and emotional energy
What makes this situation even more dicier is this – most leaders in non-profits lead with benefits, not mission. What I mean is we ‘manipulate/recruit people to serve by extolling all of the benefits of serving, not the mission itself.
When this happens – we set ourselves up for failure because at some point, everything changes. A program or trip that once was the greatest thing in the world is no longer needed or useful. Or has to be drastically overhauled. Now we are ‘taking away’ in their minds the core of why they volunteered. They never saw the program as a tool to accomplish the mission. They saw it AS THE MISSION. And some of that confusion has to fall on us – we cast it in that light to start with.
Don’t get me wrong – the relational aspect of ministry is one of the richest, deepest experiences ever. It’s awesome and I have friends all over the country that are close to prove it. But it’s not THE MISSION of ministry. It’s an awesome benefit and at times it IS why we keep doing what we’re doing, especially in those dark times.
But the ultimate point of what we do is to connect people to Jesus and as leaders our biggest contribution to this is keeping this in front of our people, all the time in ways they get it and has meaning.
Failure
This was the topic of our Downtown Lunch Club. It was the last one for me here in Denver. I guess I’ll have to crank one up in Topeka.
How is failure framed in your work culture? Is it seen as an event? I stole this straight from Seth Godin’s blog. Is failure seen as a learning experience or something that should always be avoided? How do you create a culture where it is okay to fail? Are there limits to how much failure is tolerated?
How did Jesus deal with failure? How many different ways did Jesus deal with failure? How could that be translated in the workplace?
Lots of great insights and stories hit the table.
One question I had as I left the lunch was this – why in the business world failure is seen differently than in the church world? Let’s say we started a program that halfway through it we realized was a failure (it cost too much, demanded too much volunteer time, had little to no ‘bang’, wasn’t accomplishing the set out goals). In the business realm, it appears easier to stop that program and reallocate the resources to something else or create a new something else that would accomplish the goals.
In ministry, why is the general response to be keep that program on life support until the very end? Is it the relational investment? Don’t businesses have the same kind of relational investment? Or is it the culture that the program is started in? Would it be possible to do ministry where the mission so marinates everything we do that we are able to evaluate, change, reallocate resources, maybe even end certain programs so that we could continue to do (or improve) other things that DO accomplish our goals without the dramatic explosion of emotions that normally encompass change inside a church?
I’ve always tried to create a culture where failure isn’t the worst thing that can happen. In fact, I try to embrace failure as an opportunity for something better. It’s gotten dicey a couple of times. One particular instance comes to mind immediately. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this story before but I can’t find the link and besides that – it’s worth retelling.
We had a middle school lock-in and we had a couple of our upperclassmen help with the entertainment. These two guys were juniors in high school at the time, were leading their own small group. By 10 am the morning after the lock-in, I started hearing from some parents who were very angry about the night before.
Turns out that these guys showed a PG-13 movie. Not just any PG-13 movie, but Austin Powers: Goldmember at a middle school church lock-in. It was a dumb, bad decision. Quite a few parents were ready for blood and on a certain level, I didn’t blame them.
I had two meetings that week. The first meeting was with the two students. It wasn’t pretty. They got lit up pretty hard by me. I let them read the emails I was getting from parents. They understood.
I then turned around and met with the parents and I took responsibility for it. Told them it was my fault. It was – I left those guys in charge, trusted their leadership and it turned out badly. But it also allowed me to tell those parents that I would take the risk again because I believed if students were given the opportunity to lead, we’d see awesome things take place for God. So while I was sorry, while I had made a mistake this time, I wouldn’t stop putting students in charge of ministry.
We actually had a few families leave the church because of this.
Fast forward 1 year later and the same two guys are feeding the homeless underneath the Broadway Bridge in Little Rock. They take their whole small group of teenage guys to do this every other Tuesday night. That turns into a youth group project making beds for a shelter.
All of that to say – leaders must be able to see past the failure to the value beyond it, to the possibilities beyond it. It’s on us to create cultures where failures are not the final word but rather opportunities for something greater.