Posts Tagged ‘journal of a new lead pastor’
When 1 Metaphor Isn’t Enough
So I was pretty stuck Monday and Tuesday with the message for Sunday. Frustrating but fortunately I’ve learned to not be quiet about this when this happens. God will use other people to help if you let them all know you need help.
Enter Georges Boujakly and the Creative Team. Georges (is it a French/Canadian thing to put an ‘s’ on the end of perfectly good words and not pronounce them??) may be the shortest person I know but he is also the deepest. I told him about my stuckness. We had used the battleship vs. cruiseship metaphor in describing the church last week but there is so much more to the church than just this picture. Where to start? How to communicate this?
Georges handed me the book From Eternity To Here by Frank Viola, who I loved on This Old House. (Okay, not that guy.) He said read this…it’s going to help you. He smiled, hugged me and then said something I already knew but apparently needed reminding of –
“Grant…don’t start with the metaphor then go to the text. Start with the text. You’ve done your best teaching when you simply let the text speak and come alive.”
Well, no duh. Thank you, Georges. Creative Team listened to me ramble and was a place for me to think out loud with the ‘new’ information from Georges.
What was the ‘new’ information? Shockingly nothing new but something very ancient.
When speaking of the church, God uses three main metaphors — all them found in — wait for this — EPHESIANS! God has a ridiculous crazy sense of humor.
What are the metaphors? The Bride of Christ, the House of God, and the Body of Christ. All in Ephesians, all have OT roots, all adding a key piece of whyChurch. And that’s the fun that awaits us on Sunday.
whyChurch Series Starts Sunday
I have a love-hate relationship about my time in the Army. Hated the 18-20 hour days. Hated being in the woods 20 to 30 days at a time. Hated the cold, wet marches with 45lbs of gear on my back. Hated the food for the most part. We had a lot of different meanings for the letters MRE.
But I loved the toys and getting to blow things up. I loved having a mission that focused all of our decisions. Loved the leadership development, having a team focused on an important task where much was at stake. Putting our lives into the effort. It really wasn’t just a job. Loved the process of developing leaders — where the goal was to develop people to be better. And I loved serving my country. It was hard but it was rewarding.
What’s this got to do with whyChurch? Over the next few weeks, we’re going to look at Jesus’ mission for the church, what WH is doing to fulfill that mission. We’ll take a trip down memory lane as well as look at the future of what implications His mission has on us.
Here’s a nugget from my notes so far:
The mission of God can be first seen in Genesis 12 with Abram and gets sharper in focus leading up to the arrival of Jesus. Jesus brought a laser focus to His mission by using simple, powerful stories that captured the heart. These simple – not easy – stories were given to us so that the focus would be on DOING the mission, not defining it, dissecting it, or discussing it.
Harvest Report
The journey of the Harvest thus far:
The Past 30, The Next 30
A Little Sacrifice Now…
Why The Debt And Why Now
Exodus 36:5
A Gentle Rebuke
So what happened Sunday? We had over 17k dollars come in towards the debt…which means there is 19k left…which means in the span of 9 months we’ve gone from 100+k in debt to 19k…which means we are on track to be debt free for 2010. Praise God.
The point of it all was not to just get out of debt to get out of debt – which would have been reason enough. The point is for us – the Church – to start putting our money where our vision statement says we put our money – helping people. Being out of debt allows the church to spend money on ministry, in people, helping others.
Next series – whyChurch?
Oneness or Isolation
Some quotes from Sunday’s service…
From Lynn’s reading:
My husband does not deserve my resentment, but my respect and my love. He may never come to church, I don’t know, but I am content to leave the future up to God.
God never meant for me to handle this in my own power anyway and trusting in Him is the only way I can take my marriage from the hard truth to the throne of amazing grace.
Lynn is an artist with words. Her vulnerability allows us to not only join her on her own journey of healing but it forces us to look closer at own attitudes – which is always a good thing. I’m challenged every time I hear a word from her. I’m thankful to God for her.
Every marriage is moving to one of two places – oneness or isolation. Marriage is never static.
The 50/50 plan of marriage never works. What’s 50% in a marriage anyway? I need the 100/100 plan.
There is no human that can satisfy you completely, make you complete. Only God can do that.
I’m both excited and frustrated with what is coming up this next week. Excited in that it’s a Q & A, Amy will be with me helping me answer the questions. It will be the first time we’ve ever done anything like that…it could be awesome…or it could totally go wheels off. Excited – we’ve already got some great questions to pick through.
Frustrated – there is a part of me that is going….man, there is still a lot more left that we could explore and unpack. Frustrated – not every marriage story has a happy ending and I hurt for those in the middle of the wreckage.
Off to prep for Sunday…
Make Known The Mystery
Last week I preached on Ephesians 3 – the mystery of God and how our mission as the mystery is to make known the mystery. KNOW being more than just intellectual assent, but rather an experiential…well…experience. To taste and see that the Lord is good. Today was another example for me.
A bunch of ladies had been sewing nap mats for Kindergartners at McCarter all summer long. They’d meet up at the church on Thursday morning, start about 9 and sew till lunch. They tried to get me in on the sewing but it was quickly apparent I was a lost cause at things that require fine motor skills.
Last week we took school supplies to McCarter and were invited back on the first day of school (today) to help the teachers distribute the nap mats. So this morning those same ladies showed up at McCarter to help put names on nap mats for the kindergartners.
While there, some teachers were spray painting recess lines on the playground. Immediately a couple of our folks started helping. They didn’t get it all done but it was a start. As the ladies were leaving, a couple of teachers pulled aside Amy.
“We’re floored by what you guys are doing. Absolutely floored. Why?” We love Jesus, we love kids, we love our city, and we want to help. No strings attached, in Jesus’ name.
Simple, straightforward, we don’t expect anything in return. Just an opportunity to serve…again.
My prayer for us is this – as school cranks back up and we get refocused on our own lives we don’t miss the opportunites to continue to serve in Jesus’ name. I pray we leave room to continue to chase after Jesus on this journey of serving others.
Where Are The Posts?
Good night…I’m hoping this is just a season for me but I can’t seem to write anything worth posting lately.
Busy? Yeah, but who isn’t, right? It’s not really busyness that’s kept my blog quiet as of lately. Actually, pace has gotten better in the last few weeks. I’m getting my feet underneath me learning this new culture, new role, new town, new friends, new everything. And everything is new.
I’m not sure why the dry season in my writing right now. It just is. Been here before…doesn’t make it any less frustrating but at least I know in the back of mind it’s not going to last forever. Or will it?
That’s the real fear of dry spots – both in writing, in our marriages, in our work, in our walk with Jesus. The real fear and anxiousness isn’t that it’s dry in this moment. The real fear is ‘how long will this last?’ Is this it? Is this as good as it is ever going to get? Have I hit the wall?
I’ve responded in two different ways in that spot. Go backwards or go forwards. Remember the good old days? They really weren’t that good when I was there and I’m not that old. Let’s go back to what we know. Or – slam it forward. Do something to trigger this funk on up out of here. (Insert bass line here.)
Is this the point where a spiritual sage says – “Stay in the moment.” “Be still and know…” Maybe. I think there are times we’re still, I think there are times to spring forward through the dry times. Going backwards? No. And I don’t see backwards as repentance. Repentance is a course correction as we go forward.
Odd thing…not dry in my walk with Jesus…just dry in writing, putting thoughts on paper…or in HTML as it were. To steal a line from C.S. Lewis – time to go ‘further up and further in.’
Eggshells
One of things that I’m starting to see and feel happening at WH concerns eggshells. As in walking on them. I’ve never been very good around eggshells. (insert your sarcastic comment here, Wayne.) I don’t even like it as a color.
It’s loosening up here. That’s a good thing. But I’m surprised/not really/scared as to how much influence I have on that just because I’m the lead pastor.
I’ve read and heard all the leadership maxims that say “the leader sets the emotional tone for the organization.” I love Tom Peters and Seth Godin believed that…I just have never experienced it like this before.
I’m normally the first one to crack a joke, poke fun and in general goof off in a group. The larger the group, the more likely I’m the clown that’s being the distraction. I’m also normally the first one to be okay with my idea being tweaked, changed, or completely discarded. It’s the ADD. But these things are also the key components in creating an eggshell-less culture.
Is there room to push? Is there room to disagree in laughter? Is there room to get the desired outcome in a different way than originally thought? When I’m challenged, do I first think of self-preservation or think of what is going to better advance our mission at WH? Is there room for people to change their minds, surrender with laughter and honor? Is there room for ‘that’s better than my idea?’
If so – you’ve got the start of something special and wonderful. I do think this is one of those key areas of why I’m at Western Hills. Honestly, there were other guys that could teach better, look better, more organized and more experienced. But in terms of creating a culture where the vision wins, not personalities or titles? That’s my thing. When you constantly work with volunteers that are older, wiser, better, and smarter than you – you have to function that way or you’ll die without friends. And I’ve worked with some old people. 
I’ve seen the other side as well. Easily offended, gets defensive fast, reacts quickly with little thinking, and responds with extremes – sets the whole thing to be Eggshell City. Besides that, people can’t/won’t stay in that kind of drama for very long. The only people that do are others that love the drama…and that’s a recipe for disaster.
So for a church that’s been wounded, it’s good to see the eggshell walking decreasing immensely. They are awfully hard to dance on.
Leadership Lessons…So Far
What I’ve learned thus far….
1. I’m not going to accomplish half the things I thought I would this year.
I’m not sure if this is because I’m the only paid pastor on staff or just the normal course of transitioning for a new pastor. Maybe both. I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing either. It’s made me be more purposeful in deciding where to put leadership energy and resources.
A couple of mentors have told me repeatedly – “Your first year agenda needs to be – love on people, preach the word, ask questions, make some disciples. That’s it. You’re there for the long haul.” Sounds easy enough, right? It’s not. It’s great advice and I’m trying my best to follow it…but there are times when I just want to “DO SOMETHING!!” Which leads me to number 2.
2. You can’t do everything that comes down the pipe.
Let others lead. Give opportunities to others to lead. Yes, somethings will fail miserably. Yes, there will be some falling through the cracks. But don’t own every single thing that comes across desk. When you do start something, finish it. Keep at it. Don’t give up. Keep working. Slow is better than stop.
3. Don’t confuse insight with leadership.
It’s easy to spot problems. It’s easy to spot holes in the system, things that are quite done right or perfectly. It’s easy to see the problems. The ability to see those problems doesn’t make a good leader. It makes a good critic.
Leaders see opportunities….solutions…possibilities. Leaders are willing to put shoulder to the plow to fix it. Leaders WORK the problem, not escalate the drama or create crisis. Secondary principle here for me is this – empower leaders, not critics.
I’ve got more but these three stuck out to me this morning.
Silence
Yesterday we took a pretty big risk. Well…it felt like a risk at the time. It played out.
Instead of preaching/teaching on the discipline of silence, we just did it. We sat in silence for a little over 13 minutes. Afterwards, I kind of gave some pointers of how to practice the discipline and we went home. That was it.
And I got more compliments than ever. (Insert rim shot)
One of the things I wanted to do when I became a lead pastor was to actually turn Sunday morning into an experience, less observation. The desire is for people to experience God, not just hear about Him or learn about Him. The encounter with God is what is life changing. Head knowledge has its limits. If that knowledge isn’t translated into some meaningful experience, it will be lost forever.
So when we came to the blind guy getting healed, we did the service in the dark. When we unpacked “I am the bread of life,” we baked bread. Instead of teaching on Passover, have a Jew come in and lead us in a seder. And yesterday when we unpacked silence…we got silent. Every week, we ask ourselves how do we involve everyone in this story?
Does it carry risks? Absolutely. But not like you think. I’d guess that lost or curious people of Jesus would wig out at some of the things we do – prayer wall, move around during the service, write cardboard confessionals, sit in the dark and silence – and never come back. It’s actually having the opposite effect. Husbands that hardly darken the door of a church have been showing up more, we’re seeing more of these curious people make decisions to follow Jesus. There is an expectancy on Sunday morning, a desire to engage not just show up.
At risk are those of us ‘leading’.
A new friend of mine recently talked about the church as a ship – cruise ship, cargo, battle, medical – which kind of ship is your church? And yes – all analogies break down at some point – but of those choices the one I least want to be is the cruise ship. The staff exists to entertain and feed and serve you so that you can have a pleasant experience. Do you realize that of those choices the cruise ship is the only one whose mission is itself? “We exist to perpetuate our own existence.” All the others have an external mission – deliver goods, defeat bad guys, heal sick.
And that’s the danger I am capable of becoming. I can totally see how the focus on creativity and impact on Sunday morning morphs itself into a self-perpetuating mission. “We have to do it better, bigger, louder, smoother than we did last week.” “The show must go on.” I can totally see how creativity begins to take the place of God.
That’s why as important and meaningful Sunday morning is – it will never be enough to justify our existence. It’s just one piece of the puzzle.
Erwin McManus Was Right
I think it was Erwin who said that when you introduce yourself as a pastor, it’s like introducing yourself as a cannibal. No one wants to be around you anymore. They act differently. Every action you take is intensely scrutinized. And no one wants to come over for dinner.
It may sound extreme but there is an element of truth to it. I noticed it this week with my new neighbors. Conversation would be going great and inevitably the conversation would turn to occupation.
“I’m the new pastor at Western Hills.”
Crickets rejoice.
My next door neighbor heard this and said – “I just retired as a part-time pastor at an Episcopal church. So where do you stand on election?” I’m not kidding. Amy was standing right there. Like that’s the first topic I want to talk about with my new neighbor over our lawnmowers.
I did find out some valuable information about our neighborhood before it leaked out that I was a pastor.
They shoot fireworks in our cul-de-sac every year for fourth of July. This is awesome. I’ve waited 3 long years to shoot my own fireworks. We didn’t shoot them in Parker because of the fire bans and stuff. I mean, we shot the little stuff but not the mortars. And mortars are awesome.
They have block parties in the summer. Awesome again. I get to show off my mad grill skillz.
They don’t put up backyard fences because of the football games. There are a bunch of middle school kids that play football in the backyards. Without fences, the space looks like a huge park. Again…this is awesome.
The pastor of another church lives at the end of the street. I know of this guy and he’s got a great reputation around town. He has a trampoline in the back and he let’s his boys play with Airsoft guns. This all bodes very, very well. There is one downside so far though…I’ve seen him mow his lawn on his riding mower with kakhi’s on. Party foul. I couldn’t get close enough to see if he was wearing dress socks. I’ll have to do some further investigating. As soon as I can, I’ll warn him about mowing in dress clothes.
But what other options could I use instead of pastor when asked about my occupation?
I’m a shepherd. (courtesy of Fletch.)
New parole officer.
I’m into sin management.
District mattress police manager.
Central Kansas iPhone evangelist.
Sermon Planning
Yesterday morning I sat down with two other ministry leaders to plan out our year in sermon series. I have a love-hate relationship with this process. I love the freedom it gives us down the road. That’s right – freedom. Planning this far in advance, frees the team up to do more than you can possibly imagine. It gives them think/plan time. Once this gets typed up and communicated, it’s going to help all of our ministries understand where we are going this year and how they can help drive us forward.
The hate part…it’s work. I don’t want to get ahead of God but on the other hand, I’m learning that He’s wired me to run this way. Plus we hold it loosely. It’s hard, gut-wrenching work and it can test a team to the brink – if you value having a team work on it. And I do. I’ve been here 4 months. Not a lot of time to build up the trust tank. But it is what it is…and at some point you’ve just got to risk it.
I’ll share later what exactly came out of the time but as I look back yesterday what was so valuable to me was the time we spent in prayer…seeking God’s face. Here are some of the snippets…
Father, I’m humbled that You’ve entrusted us with the feeding of your people. Give us wisdom in this task.
Spirit of God, work and lead beyond our expertise. Overcome our failings and shortcomings as leaders.
We are driven people in this room. Slow us down. To listen to your whispers.
Prevent anything from getting on the calendar that isn’t of you, from you.
We got a lot done yesterday. But the best thing was a team silent, pleading, listening, asking, knocking, seeking God. If we hadn’t got anything else done, it would have been worth the time.
Wednesday, April 22
7.30 am, Home
Up and fumble to the shower. I have a crazy busy day in meetings. Honestly, I’m not looking forward to it as much as I should. I need a few more hours on the sermon, need a few more hours on the new house…basically I just need a few more hours.
8.30 am, School
Walk kids to classrooms, say hi to some teachers.
8.37 am, PT’s Coffee Shop
Meet John (not his real name) at a coffee shop. John is a recovering alcoholic, been sober for 6 years. Married to same woman through it all and wants to renew his vows with her. We walk through what that ceremony could look like. Awesome to see redemption at work.
9.45 am, Downtown Topeka
Head downtown to pickup Edie Smith, our missions team leader. She is awesome. She’s also part of our creative team that makes our sets look so freakin’ awesome. I get to hear her story on the way to Lawrence to meet the Goombi’s, some missionaries to many Native American reservations in the area.
10.45 am, Lawrence, KS.
Hear of how for the first time in 50 years the reservations are open to the Gospel, there is a door opening. We plan on helping them do a VBS/Carnival in July. Looking at helping being an aid tent at the big Powwow in June. The Goombi’s are not full-time missionaries. He works at Sears on commission. We talk a long time about how can they continue to do this in this manner. To their credit, they are faithful and optimistic.
I’m conflicted. Technically, they are MSC missionaries under our North American Mission Board…but they don’t get funded full-time, nor does he get funded when he misses work to do missions work for the Reservations. Daniel himself is a Native-American so the work is more than just an assignment, it’s a calling…in the truest sense of the word. They are losing their storage space at a local church. They need a shed for school supplies and other items they use in their mission. Edie and I leave the meeting with mixed feelings. We’re amped about the opportunities, disappointed that we can’t wave a magic wand to help get the Goombi’s full-time. We pray for insight, creativity as this partnership with them grows.
1.00 pm, Topeka Bible Church
After I drop Edie off, head to Topeka Bible Church. I’m meeting their worship pastor for a late lunch. Bryan Nelson is his name. He drags their youth pastor with us, Scott. Immediately, we hit it off. Feels like we’ve known each other for a long time. I get the tour of their impressive facility…and he takes me to Burger King. Scott starts laughing at Bryan. Bryan asks if this is okay after he’s turned the car off.
I say – “Sure. But you know…they have these new fangled places now where you can sit and some one actually brings your food to you.”
Great time with these guys. My mood lifts. It’s good to talk ministry with other pastors. It’s good to compare notes, to ask questions, to learn, to be vulnerable with no agenda. We schedule another time for May. I need this.
3.30 pm, Western Hills, Worship Center
David Manner is in worship center getting stuff ready for worship practice tonight. I knew David before getting here to WH. It’s made the transition easier with him around. I give him grief about his GQ style and look. I wonder if he’s ever had a hair out of place. He wonders if I’ve ever bought a shirt with a collar or something without Hard Rock Cafe, Broncos, or Rockies on it.
We talk a bit. Not so important about what as much as he’s one of those guys that I don’t have to be ‘on’ for. No agendas, no pretense. Good stuff. This has been the hardest thing to deal with as the lone pastoral staff – not having that arena on a daily basis. This may be why this day has been so good for me.
5.00 pm, Western Hills, office
Debating on going home or just staying up here for my 5.45 meeting and then Awana’s Carnival Night after that. I’ll stay up here. Like the silence. Hate that my books still aren’t unpacked and no pictures are hanging up.
5.45 pm, WH, small kitchen
Meeting that really isn’t a meeting, think tank/pushing around ideas kind of meeting. What is a spiritual leader? How are they made? What’s the front door of that process? It’s a good time, a time of questioning and pushing in a good way. There are some men and women around this table that challenge me. In a good way – challenge. They think differently than I do. We make each other better leaders, I think. There is something redemptive and good in the wrestling of ideas.
7.00 pm, Gym
Awana Carnival is going on. The plan was for Amy and I to steal away for dinner together. It didn’t happen. She’s volunteering, I’m walking around meeting new people and reconnecting with others that are just as new to me. See Bryan Nelson again – his son is here at the Carnival.
8.00 pm, West Ridge Mall Food Court
While Amy is taking kids home, I swing by to pick up Chick-fil-A for us. I’m sort of miffed because why in the world doesn’t Chick-fil-A have a stand alone place?
Why do I have to go into the mall to get God’s chosen food?
Why do these mall rat teenage boys try to walk with their pants around their knees?
What makes these girls think ‘tighter is better?’ Who lied to them?
Why would name your store Wet Seal? I thought that was the exact look women were trying to avoid?
Get the food, head home.
After careful review of the day…didn’t get any headway on sermon. Always tomorrow, right? Alas I have a few more meetings then as well. May they be as good as today.
What Do You Spend On Flowers?
One of the most surprising aspects of being a lead pastor is how constant this battle is – protecting my time with God. I love people so any chance I get to meet someone and hear their story – I’m all for it. But it does come with a price tag…time.
In another not so random thought, Mark E. used to consistently challenge me to bring closer the lines of the seen work of the church with the unseen movement of God, His Kingdom. Then we’d both make fun of churches that spent more on flowers than the poor.
I still think it’s valid to make fun of churches that do that but I understand better now how it happens and this is where these two streams of thought collide. You can’t see the invisible traveling at 900 mph. You can’t move towards the invisible work of the Kingdom if all you do is worry about protecting the flowers. And you can’t know how worthless the flowers are in comparison to the poor if you never spend any time with the poor. You can’t spend any time with the poor if you live at 900 mph.
It’s a vicious cycle…I eat because I’m unhappy. I’m unhappy because I eat.
Even right now, I’m tempted to ‘do’ something with this post, with what I wrote. To be busy with the concept as opposed to allowing the concept to consume me and change me. Just another observation as I continue to learn this craft.
A Blurred Life
What a week. Our truck full of stuff got here, the closing went fine. The house is wonderful. There are boxes everywhere, packing paper scattered throughout the house. I’m still trying to find my clothes, the cups, and a pair of scissors. Meals are being delivered and I’ve yet to put the headboard on the bed but the TV’s our up and the surround sound is working. (Gotta have priorities…)
But I’m blurry, conflicted right now. Easter was nice, lots of people walked through Western Hills door and the compliments were nice. But I have mixed feelings about the whole deal. I like our services. We don’t always pull off what we aim to do excellently, but it’s a good service. It’s an encounter with room for mystery, silence, and wonder. I wouldn’t change that part of it. This past week we took some chances in our service – some of them worked, some of them didn’t – but overall, it’s not the quality or what we’re trying to do on Sunday morning that I’m having a problem with.
The truth is it doesn’t matter what we do on Sunday morning, it’s never going to be enough. It’s not enough to change the culture at Western Hills. What we do on Sunday morning is not enough to effect life change in a person for the long term. It’s not enough to heal the pain of abuse, divorce, addictions, hurt, and betrayals. It’s not enough to develop leaders who pastor and give front row care to their small group. It’s not enough to equip a teen to witness to his friends. It’s not enough to move someone to start a Bible study at their work, or invest in Topeka Rescue Mission.
It’s good….but I know real life change and ministry happens outside the church walls, normally not during the morning hours of Sunday morning. I know that long term, life long impact normally happens as a result of doing life vulnerably with a small group of sojourners. Plus, I’ve been on teams where the focus has been pulling off an incredible worship experience (which we did) and we got limited returns in making disciples that changed the world. We got lots of accolades followed by lots of complaints when we started emphasizing serving others.
So I know that life groups/small groups are key in making disciples, impacting our community. I know having leaders that drive life change and service at that level will have the largest, long term effect in the Kingdom. And while I have a plan to do this starting over this summer, right now I find myself focusing on the Sunday morning experience more than I’m comfortable with.
The temptation in the stillness, in the waiting for right moment is to fill it with busyness. I’ve tried to feed the Holy Discontent with activity. Makes it worse. So I’ll wrestle with it for now, knowing that there is a time when we’ll start the journey of empowering, equipping, and releasing Kingdom minded leaders…pushing them to focus on outside the walls, taking as many people with them as they can.
In the meantime, my soul needs to get unblurred. Off to the cave.
Paradigm Shifts
Quick definition for my sanity – a paradigm shift is a change of thinking, change in doing things. Often it’s a big one – like moving from PC to Mac. (Had to get a cheap shot in there…)
I got to see one happen this week. A group of us were talking about leadership in the church. What does a spiritual leader look like? What is the starting point of a leader? Who can be one? How are they developed? Good questions that will take us some time to unpack and refine. One particular question provided the paradigm shift moment. What is the starting point of a spiritual leader? “They should be a believer of Jesus.”
I smirked a bit and asked permission to push back a little. So when did the disciples become believers? Could there be a scenario that we would walk alongside a non-believer for the purpose of developing them into a spiritual leader? There was a pause. Hadn’t thought about it like that. When put that way it’s completely different, isn’t it? Absolutely we would. We’d call it discipleship or evangelism or lifewalking but absolutely we’d walk with a non-believer on that journey. And the shift happened.
The actual discussion point isn’t what really got my attention in that moment. Seeing the shift happen in a non-combative atmosphere did. Often times a paradigm shift is threatening and combative. I don’t think it needs to be or even should be this way, but more often than not it plays out that way. Part of the reason is because I’m put in the place where I have to let go of something that has been secure for so long because I finally realized it’s either false or unhealthy or unproductive. Basically, I have to say – “I was wrong about this.”
But what made this shift different? A couple of things that I honestly wish I’d learned sooner…
1. There wasn’t an agenda being pushed. We were just talking. We weren’t trying to craft policy or start a program. There was no huge issue on the table we were working through, just talking about leadership with no agenda or program hanging in the balance. Why is this important? Because I think when there is an issue/agenda/program on the table, the bigger questions get lost in the scuffle to protect the issue.
2. There was a high level of trust around the table. This alone doesn’t make paradigm shifting easier…but it helps. The flip side is this – if there isn’t a high level of trust, the shift is almost impossible to make.
3. We had permission to push. Big principle here…if you don’t have permission to push back, do so at your own risk. In Little Rock, we had a tight, close pastoral team between Row, Mark S., and I. We banged on each other all the time. It was good. But we learned some painful lessons as we tried to expand the team and allow others into that arena. Not everyone wants to be pushed. And if you do push and they aren’t ready…they’ll push back in unhealthy, dangerous ways. Or they’ll leave in unhealthy ways. When that happens, it’s like trying to glue back together a vase that’s been busted into a million pieces.
So if you don’t have permission to push, do you just not push? Settle for status quo? That’s not a good option either. Eventually leaders push. They just do. They can’t NOT push. Good ones invest on the relational side first, keep asking permission, and then push.
4. It would have been okay for the shift not to happen…for now. This lesson has been the hardest to learn. Am I okay with God taking His time in the life of another person? I know I am with me. I love it when God takes his time with me and is patient. It’s frustrating when He treats everybody else that way. That means I have to wait on Him…and that’s not fun. If this person had walked away disagreeing, it would have been fine. There was no agenda/issue to be won or pushed. The world wasn’t going to end. Western Hills wasn’t going to implode.
Are there times when you have to push hard and force the issue? I’m sure there are but the older I get, those times seem to be far fewer than I thought when I was younger. It’s the Spirit’s job to change and transform people. Not mine. I don’t have to have the last word.
Rebuked
Sunday morning, my good friend Steve lost his dad after a long fight against dementia. My dad has the same disease and Steve was a comfort for me. Many a lift ride would include talks about kids, dads, dealing with loss, dealing with disappoint and just life in general.
I called Steve Sunday morning – about 15 minutes before I had to preach. Probably wasn’t the best idea in the world as the sermon was on when God doesn’t heal. As I stood up to speak in the first service, I just completely lost it. I fumbled through the first 5 minutes trying to get it together, couldn’t read my notes because of the tears. I don’t remember much about what I said.
When I started the 2nd service, I was much more ‘together’ and I made a passing comment that thankfully we have the 2nd service to re-do the 1st service.
After the service, a man grabbed me and pulled me aside. I’ve known this man for all of 8 weeks now. He’s been nothing but supportive but I could tell he wasn’t happy with me. He grabbed my arm, pulled me very close and whispered. He said something along the lines of this…
“You couldn’t be more wrong about the first service. Don’t diminish what God did through your brokenness and vulnerability. It may not have been what you thought but that’s probably okay. Don’t ever apologize for being vulnerable and authentic in a way that God uses to minister to others. Don’t ever stop being that way, either.”
What do you say to that?
“Yes, sir. Rebuke taken.”
Stretched
Every week we do a review of last week before looking ahead. This week’s service was incredible. We walked through Jesus and the woman at the well. (sermon here.). Georges Boujakly set us up with the prayer pause, I loved his definition of worship: Worship is the adoration of the community of God of the community of God. The only people God uses are broken, messed up people. Folks wrote on cardboard squares what their ‘well’ moment was. Service was awesome, that’s not the point.
The point was all week long I felt stressed to the nines that I wasn’t getting enough face time with Jesus. Lots more meetings, lots more life walking with folks, less still time with Jesus. I made the comment that I felt like I needed 3 more hours with the text. Stephen didn’t even pause with his question – do you need it or does God need it?
I didn’t immediately answer his question. Obviously, God didn’t need the extra time nor did He need me to have my “A” game. But then again, I already knew that. I’ve had plenty of experiences to prove that point. That’s not really the real reason I wanted that extra time. I wanted/needed it so I didn’t feel so stretched on Sunday morning. I needed it for the control side of me. I actually just needed the time because I wanted the time. Am I making any sense?
The more I do this ministry thing, the more I realize I don’t bring a whole lot to the table. That’s not false humility. That’s not baiting for a compliment. It’s just the truth for all of us in ministry. I’m significant, I’m valuable, I don’t have a self-esteem/self-worth problem either. It’s not a ‘I’m worthless’ statement.
I’m just learning more and more how much better “I” am when I function out of the overflow of time with Jesus. Of course, the flip side of that is that more time I spend with Jesus, the more He increases, the more I decrease. Or maybe it’s better understood that he makes me the me He wants me to be. I become more like the “I” I should be.
Confused yet?
All of that to say this – I’m feeling God stretch me in my leadership and in my character. As He is doing this, I feel like I need MORE of Him…that there is so much more I don’t know, don’t get. That the insights and principles I’ve learned so far could fit in a thimble. I know enough to know this is God working in me. I know enough to understand that spiritual formation comes with pain and uncomfortableness and discipline.
I also know that knowing all of that doesn’t make it any easier.
Community To What End?
I’m in dialogue with a peer about the importance of life groups/small groups that have real, authentic, raw community with each other. It’s more than just Bible study, it’s doing life together. It’s uncomfortable, edgy, messy life.
That we agree on. To what end is where we found ourselves disagreeing. His slant is so that people can figure out who they are and how they wired. A safe place for them to discover who God has created them to be. Where they find freedom from legalism and religion.
I say the point of community is for us to push each other to be more like Jesus – spiritual formation. I don’t need to find my inner Grant. I need my inner Grant to find Jesus and become more and more like Jesus. That’s life, abundant and meaningful.
To some who have no framework of God or discipline – they need some law, some boundaries. To others who are Pharisees, they need some freedom. It’s not a one size fits all commodity. Some need a hug, others need a kick in the hindparts. All need love. All need to serve. All need to worship.
As our conversation continued, I realized how important the distinction is and how that single question sets your life groups for either success or failure. If your Life Groups are basically supper clubs, when hard conversations arise – they either don’t happen or they destroy the group. Because likability and niceness is the goal…not spiritual transformation. If the goal is just to find yourself, you’ll miss Jesus. It makes birthing and reproducing leaders almost impossible because you don’t want to leave that cocoon of niceness. There is no need to stretch or grow once you’ve find ‘it.’
Having spiritual transformation as the end goal makes everything harder and simpler. Now we know we meet and we give people permission to kick over the dark places of our hearts, exposing it to the light of Jesus. Painful? Uncomfortable? You bet. But the purpose isn’t our comfort, it’s to become more like Jesus. Simple to understand…hard to achieve. That becomes the ‘trump card’ of the group. We do what we do because it leads us to spiritual transformation. If it doesn’t – we should not do it. We will choose to do some things that are hard because they lead to Christ-likeness.
So where will we go from here? I’m not sure what the answer is for him and his congregation. I know what it is for me. We’ll choose transformation. It’s harder, slower, and riskier. But it’s what we’re supposed to do. It’s where life, abundant life is.
Encouraged
6 weeks in and there’s been a voice in the back of my head that kept going – “Yeah, but…”
This is a great place to serve…”Yeah, but it’s early and is this really going to be a place that you fit?”
These are some incredibly creative people that are going to make me better…”Yeah, but what’s going to happen the first time you disagree with them?”
The worship times have felt deep…meaningful…intense…reflective…”Yeah, but is that just your perspective?”
The family is good, their happy, their excited….”yeah, but how much longer can it last?”
Then came Sunday. I don’t know why Sunday ended up being so significant. I mean…6 weeks in, it IS still early. Most pastors are telling me they didn’t feel right or at home until after the first year, sometimes longer. I’m a long way from that mark.
But Sunday was good. Part of it was Danny and Suzanne were here. They got to feel the vibe of Western Hills, meet the people, experience the service. When I introduced Danny in the second service, I barely got Pinecrest Community Church out of my service when the congregation burst out in applause. Completely spontaneous, very warm and heartfelt. It was another confirmation that what we did and how we (Western Hills, Pinecrest, all involved) did it was right, was God-honoring.
Part of it is our relentless pursuit of authenticity. Authenticity is not just being real for the sake of being real. If we only did that – would lead us to some bad places. In my less mature years (I’m not saying I am mature now…just more mature than I was…), I used ‘authenticity’ as an excuse for my immaturity. As in – “This is who I am, deal with it.” I’ve seen authenticity used as a weapon to hurt others. Not good. Not real authenticity either.
Real authenticity is being who you are, being real about who you are for the purpose of life change, spiritual transformation. No pretense, no guile – not to stay where I am but to move closer to Jesus. This understanding of authenticity is probably closer to James’ understanding of humility. We humble ourselves so that Jesus can ‘lift us up.’
I used to think this meant recognition. I don’t think it means that anymore. I think it means lifts us up to where Jesus is…in His character, His compassion, His mind. He makes us more like Him when we are humble (authentic) because He doesn’t have to break us.
At any rate…I’m seeing life change in our folks. Slowly…but surely. Walls are coming down and I could feel it on Sunday.
Starting At Square One
What an awesome meeting over lunch today. Creative Team – our job is to brainstorm and implement a service that connects people to Jesus.
The plan was to do a series on Love and Marriage – it’s February and we’ve been planning for it for awhile. But…I just had a little nagging that…well…The Whisper as I’ve come to know it. The Whisper said – are you sure?
I get to the meeting today and as we are going around the table deconstructing last week and the series in general. “What would you have done differently? Anything you were dissatisfied with?”
The only thing I could come up with was I felt like we were leaving a lot on the table. Felt like we set the stage by asking all these questions with no follow up. Like that awkward guy at the party that comes up and interrupts a deep conversation with something like – “Where did you get this dip?” (Your mom’s.)
You know you have the makings of a great team when people are more focused on the goal than the work it takes to get there. “Let’s change it.”
So we did. In about 30 minutes we had a completely new series focused on discovery the real Jesus, the raw, incarnate Christ. We’ll look at 9 conversations that gave glimpses to who Jesus is.
A Conversation With…
A Dark World, 4 Fishermen, Servants At A Wedding, An Intellectual, A Girl With A Rep, The Invalid, A Hungry Crowd, A Scandalous Woman, 2 Kinds of Blind…
And yes – I’m back at square one but you know…it’s a good thing.
Keeping The Gauge Towards F
It’s easy to preach on staying full with Jesus, keeping connected with Jesus. Harder to stay towards the F in real life. I know that the biggest impact we’ll have as leaders is not with what we say but how we live.
Having said that, the hard reality is our family is not exactly the shining model of balance right now. Our schedule has something on it Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night and all day Saturday. Throw in normal Sunday activities and our desire/need for a life group – yeah…I’m an idiot.
None of the stuff we are doing is bad. It’s just…busy. The one thing that Amy and I know is valuable and is refueling we don’t have time for – a Life Group. I’m in the exact position that most of the church is in and I got there by my own decisions. So how do you get to there from here?
Saying no. It really isn’t any harder than that. Like – will all three of kids do spring soccer? No. But that is for moral reasons. No kid of mine is going to play that commie sport. (Go ahead, let the pro-soccer comments fly.) Are we doing any spring sports? No. What about other stuff? Don’t know.
Amy and I have always had seasons where we’re pinging the speedometer at 150 mph and then times when we’re not. It’s finding a rhythm that works, that keeps the needle towards the F, not the E. It’s also having the wisdom/discernment to know when the needle is getting close to E then having the ruthless courage to do (or not do ) something to get it back towards the F.
Personally – we’re doing good right now. Adrenaline rush of a new place, we’re protecting our Fridays – all that is good.
But I asked some hard questions of Western Hills yesterday. And they weren’t questions that I’ve got figured out already. What would my life look like if I lived it towards the F, not the E? What would it look like to be captivated by Jesus? Not the church or busyness but the person of Jesus? What would change in our world if we were captivated by him? What would change at Western Hills if our people served out of the overflow of this captivation? What would we have to say no to, say yes to if our primary focus was connecting with Jesus and letting him change us? Transformation…how does it happen?
Whatever captivates us, changes us.
Whatever captivates us, changes us…makes us more like we are captured by.
Finishing A Series
Wrap up my first sermon series this weekend. I think we finally got the audio working on our website – www.whillschurch.org.
This series had brewing in my head for a long time. Trying to change our understanding of church from institution to movement. The church as a movement, a conspiracy of subterfuge is easy to see in scripture, almost impossible to see as current example.
Preaching sermons about it is also easy. Actually pulling it off? Remains to be seen. The good vibe of the first month will be followed by many questions we get to deal with the rest of the year.
Is what we are doing for the purpose of advancing God’s story or Western Hills? Would the community around us miss us if we dissappeared? Are we really trying to be more like Jesus or just more likable?
Are we more connected to Jesus or the church? Do we even know how to connect and stay connected to Jesus?
So many more questions than answers…
Monday’s Aren’t Great…unless you have them off
I closed the office yesterday. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s birthday is worthy of the office being closed. Especially for a church.
But normally Mondays aren’t a great day for pastors. Drained from Sunday, dealing with all the ‘what ifs’ and realizing that you get to start it all over again this week.
I remember Mondays being particular hard for Al – my senior pastor in Emporia. Especially in the winter. Al was the author of some of the greatest advice I’ve ever received. I asked once if he felt that bad, why didn’t he just take Monday off.
If I feel this bad, I might as well work.
I used to think – what’s so horrible about Mondays? I don’t get it. I think I’m getting it now.
It’s not the blank sheet of paper that represents next week’s sermon. At least for me it isn’t. I love that part of this calling – the studying, the crafting, the digging, the listening, the wrestling with God during the week. That’s the great part. I’m guessing that most teachers/pastors would agree.
It’s not the touches of ministry – grabbing coffee with someone who is struggling to hear God, grabbing face time with a leader who is trying to be more effective in ministry, praying with a family who is facing a health crisis, or listening to someone tell their story. Those can be time consuming but more often than not – it feeds your soul.
It’s the ‘organizational junk.’Â The nuts and bolts of the machine that we call ‘church.’Â The by-laws are out of date, need to be rewritten, our organizational structure needs changed, the processes of ‘said’ ministry needs to be revamped.
Every church I’ve ever been in has had it. So it’s not exactly this great big secret.
That is what looms so large on Monday mornings…or Tuesdays if you happen to have Monday off. Those things seem larger than what they really are on those mornings. If I’m not careful, I’ll let it consume me an steal me from what I’m really called and equipped to do. If we’re all not careful, they’ll take center stage and begin to define us instead of us defining them.