youth ministry
72 + 9 + 5 + 1= A great chance for a Super Summer
72 students left for Super Summer around lunch today. Plus 9 adult volunteers for 5 days in pursuit of the 1 God. That’s a good equation for life change, a true super summer.
Coop is one of those 72, Amy is one of those 9. Praying for those students and the homes they left today. Praying for those volunteers.
Onslaught by Dove Films
Anyone care to discuss? I’m not sure who is running the ad campaign at Dove or making the decisions to run these kinds of ads… but sign me up as a fan. Yes, it is raw and unnerving but so is the message that this industry and our culture as a whole is sending to young girls. Finally, a company with huge resources that stands up and says – no more.
We Still Doing See You At The Pole?
As I was dropping Cooper off at school yesterday, I noticed about 12 to 13 students gathered around the flagpole.
“Holy cow, man. How did we miss this? Today is See You At The Pole?”
Cooper: “Yeah…I guess it is.”
We just sat there for a moment and then Coop said, “Should I go to that instead of my club meeting?”
“Do what you think God is telling you to do.”
“I’m going on to my club meeting.”
“Great choice.”
I then hugged him & kissed him and told him to make wise choices in a loud voice.
Okay – I didn’t do that last line. Would never do that.
But as far as choices go, Cooper made a great one right then and there. Go to a club meeting with other students where the vast majority do NOT know Jesus and be the church with them? Or withdraw around a pole to pray for the school then never engage in NON-believing relationship the rest of the year?
I’m not anti-SYATP. I just don’t want to hear how it’s one of the most important things a student or a student pastor can do on a middle school or high school campus. It’s not. It’s not even in the top 200. And what started out as a cool tool to connect other student believers at the beginning of the school year, has morphed into a combative standoff with school administrations in some cities. Isn’t that the exact OPPOSITE of what we’re supposed to be doing?
If we really want to see God change a campus, join a club or a team and start being the Church in that context. SYIOCISIJN is what we need… See You Involved On Campus In Something In Jesus’ Name. And it needs to be all year long as we teach and coach students how to church in their school, how to be a person of blessing in Jesus’ name on their team, in the classrooms, with their friends.
Every teenage parent needs to read this post…
Right Now.
Except I didn’t write it. A guy named Scott did and it’s right here.
Here’s a highlight –
Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith
1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.
2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.
Can Lead Pastors and Youth Pastors Coexist?
Kurt left this comment last week –
How does the former youth pastor/present lead pastor come alongside the youth ministry without becoming a distraction?
I loved it when the lead pastor poked his head in on the students – whether that be during Bible study or a mid-week life group or a trip. I loved it because we can never have too many godly adults hanging around teenagers. I loved it because it hopefully connected the student to the larger church congregation, not just the youth group.
But I hear what Kurt is saying. And it’s a legitimate question.
My short answer – don’t show up on the trip as a former youth pastor or the current lead pastor. Show up as a volunteer, like everybody else.
This past week I went with our middle schoolers to Super Summer. Gina was the leader of the trip and she did an outstanding job. She was organized, she delegated responsibilities out to the team that went, me included. She kept us on task without being overbearing. She kept us informed and did a great job in our church group times.
And I loved every minute of it. First, it always amps me to see a volunteer lead, to take ownership of a ministry and lead it well. That volunteer is getting to use their gifts and hopefully casting a vision for others to do the same.
Second, it freed me up. I could be a friend, a pastor to the students. I wasn’t the heavy, I wasn’t the organizer, I didn’t have to be cool or “on” all the time. I didn’t have to have all the answers. I hung out with my guys, was available to counsel and talk when needed. In short, did all the things a volunteer would do.
A student can never have too many adults that love Jesus in their life. Never. And when I go on these trips, I want to be a help to the youth team and leaders, not a distraction. I also want that student to connect to the larger congregation as well.
Kurt – you are now in this position — what’s your take? Or anyone else for that matter…
It’s Not A Sin To Be A 7th Grader
Marko mentioned something akin to this on his blog last week – and God is reminding me of it everyday this week.
There is no such thing as 12 year-old loser. They are a blank slate, an opportunity, a white board. They are full of promise and potential but not a loser. They are curious, whimsical, at times aloof, always honest, and teachable.
There have been a couple of public announcements that have teased our 7th graders about being 7th graders and it’s rubbing me the wrong way. And I’m not a saint – I’m guilty of teasing to much, taking jokes to far, not being sensitive to the moment. So much of this rant is as directed to me as anyone else but I can’t escape the importance of mentors for this age group.
Am I more aware of because my son is a 7th grader? Or because I’m finally growing up and maturing? Or because after all these years of student ministry I finally understand how important it is to start early and start deep? Or it’s more evident than ever that our younger kids get so few encouraging words?
Not sure why. Could be the lack of sleep. I’m one of the few (only?) lead pastors here at camp this week. I’m hearing from more and more youth pastors how they wish their lead pastors were more involved…and I understand both sides of the fence. There are things about being a lead pastor I never saw and understood as a youth pastor. There are pressures and pulls that I never had as a youth pastor.
But…when it all gets said and done this one truth still demands a response – being in the 7th grade is incredibly difficult and it’s one of those rare windows we get as an adult to make a difference.
Because there is no such thing as a 12-year old loser.
Brazilian Youth Workers, Part 2
Here is part of the Q & A I had with youth leaders across the southern states of Brazil..
Name a couple of early leadership lessons that still impact you today.
First, I’m not God. Second, if I’m going to make it long term in ministry, I better get good at feeding myself spiritually.
Both of these lessons came at a great price – the price of failure. We meet students with huge needs and voids in their life – lack of a family, mom, dad, emotional or physical abuse, great hurt and needs – and part of what makes us good is that empathy and desire to meet those needs, to help. The danger is stepping in over our heads and thinking WE are going to make the difference.
They need Jesus more than anything else. They need that personal connection with Him because He is the only one that will heal completely, restore completely. If I step in and all of a sudden I am the hero – then I’m taking the place of God and it might be so subtle of a change that I don’t notice it until it is too late. So a student becomes more dependent on us than God or more in love with us than Jesus. Dangerous place to be for both them and us.
Eventually, we minister out of the overflow of who we are and what God is doing inside us. And if we aren’t consistently learning and feeding ourselves spiritually – there will be a crash.
If you are just starting out a student ministry, what’s the first thing you suggest doing?
Start with finding a couple of other people that are as crazy about students as you are. Then do life with them, grow with them and start investing in students. Size of group doesn’t matter at this point (if ever) but it’s the pattern of life on life discipleship that you want to learn and start reproducing in your workers.
Give students access to your life so they can see and hear and taste and touch Jesus in your everyday life.
How do you find volunteers
Pray like crazy. And start being observant. Teens are great at recruiting their own volunteers. Just watch what adults your students talk to and hang out with during church events or school events. What parents or mentors seem to attract students?
Get specific when you ask for volunteers. Have a task that is measurable for first time volunteers — like setting up this space, providing these resources, doing this certain job. Start this way and as they get ‘infected’ with the student ministry, they’ll move into deeper areas of serving.
Our culture is so sexual and there is this over-emphasis on physical beauty. The girls dress so provocatively – almost every media outlet uses sex to sell – how do we combat this? How do we speak to our students about this?
Tough question, one we face in the States as well. Amy and Lisa spoke to this question better than I did. I talked about ‘taking them to the crash site.’ In other words, walk the students to the inevitable conclusion of where their actions are taking them. Not a bad answer but Amy and Lisa’s answer was better.
They said — keep taking your students to the Word as to the kind of man/woman God wants them to be. Keep pushing a God-centered identity and being accountable to that. Mileage may vary but only a heart captured by God is going to be able to withstand the world’s temptation.
Youth ministry and youth workers have very little respect in our culture. How do lead in that kind of context? How do you deal with parents and students who won’t respect or follow leadership?
This was another tough question. After swapping war stories, I shared with them the passage God seemed to laser in my heart this last year and half as a new lead pastor — Philippians 2 — the whole chapter but here is the focal point for me happens in verses 3- 7:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant…
I’m not sure if there is any magic pill we can take to make others follow us or give us respect. The best thing I think to do is make sure every decision I make is because Jesus told me to do it. Nothing out of selfish-ambition. Having a team that is sold out to the vision will help discern what those decisions are but as leaders we have to make sure that we do what we do because it’s God-directed.
Talking With Brazillian Youth Workers, Part 1
One of the highlights of the trips for me had to be the opportunity to sit with over 20 youth workers from all over Rio Grande de Sol, Brazil. Most churches are very small and Catholicism & Spiritism still dominates the culture. Think Voodoo mixed with patron saints. We were told that most folks go to mass on Saturday morning then to their seance on Saturday night.
Here’s a quick list of the challenges they face:
* There are two kinds of Christianity competing in this culture. The “God wants you rich so do these things in order to secure his blessing” kind and those that stress the grace of God and Jesus death and resurrection. They are struggling hard to emphasize the Gospel and the grace of God, not man’s attempt to make God happy.
* So many churches fight against teens and children, fearing change.
* There are little to no student ministry resources in Portuguese.
* Churches are small and poor. Many times the Senior Pastor is the only paid staff of a church.
* Volunteers who run student ministries suffer from discouragement as there is no infrastructure of support for youth workers. There is also very little training for youth workers.
* Student culture is highly SEXUAL. Lot’s contributing factors to this – Brazilian teens can’t get a job until they are 18, school is only in session for half a day, and there are no sports or clubs for teens to get involved in after school. There is a lot of free time for students to do whatever they want with little to no accountability. Workers said they feel completely overwhelmed by sexuality in the culture – and it is everywhere – music, movies, fashion.
* Parent involvement is next to nothing in most churches. This has two huge negative side-effects for the churches. There is a very small pool of people to find volunteers. Whatever “good” the church does has to compete and stand against the 6 days, 22 hours they are away from church.
* Southern Brazil is called the Missionary Cemetery. The average lifespan of a Christian missionary in the area is 18 to 24 months.
All of these factors are what pushed Thomas Schneider to start Palavra da Vida Sul 20 years ago. Over the years, he’s developed a long-term strategy and team to help churches and communities in reaching teenagers with the clear message of the Gospel. Their Bible Club ministry is designed to train leaders how to teach the Scriptures to teens in a systematic way as well as providing Portuguese resources to churches for student ministry. Some of these Bible Clubs stand alone in communities where there is no evangelical presence, many of them partner with local churches as their student ministry. Their camp ministry and sports tourneys are opportunities for churches and these Bible Clubs to bring lost students to an environment where they can hear the gospel clearly.
As I listened to these youth workers talk about their struggles, so many of them were just like the ones we face in the States. Lack of parent involvement, the constant sexual pull of the culture, church cultures that seem to fight against teens instead of for them.
When I see what Thomas and PVSul is doing to help churches, I know I’m a part of something very special and unique in this culture. They are the pioneers right now, emphasizing to local churches the importance of life on life discipleship and engagement in the teenage world.
Tomorrow, Part 2. The Question & Answer session with these leaders.
Brazil In Retrospect
This Sunday morning you are NOT going to want to miss church. Our Brazil Team will unpack what happened during their recent mission trip to Porto Alegre. It was simply amazing and you’ll need to hear the stories from the students themselves. It was the first trip like this for each of our students, for one it was the first time on an airplane. To say it was a life-changing trip for them is an understatement.
Here are a couple of images of the trip. (I’ll post some more later…)
There are 156 Brazilian teenagers in this picture from all over the state of Rio Grande de Sol. 27 of them made the decision to follow Jesus the weekend of the retreat. About 2 of them spoke English. Immersion was the word of the weekend.
Mr. Potato…not Mr. Potato-Head. He’s just as popular as Woody and Buzz. Had to get a picture with him.
During the week we traveled around to all kinds of different schools – public, private, community, state, rich, and poor – telling them about life in America as well as why we were helping out Palavra da Vida. We were able to tell Jesus’ story in every single school we visited. And the students were treated like rock stars. More stories coming as a result of this.
The Waterfall at the camp both up close and from a distance. There is a whole unique eco-system on the camp that one of their missionaries is taking advantage of. He’s discovered some new species of frog, iris, and a freshwater lobster. He’s like the real Bear Gryls.
Losing Control of a Service
Sunday may have been the most significant service we’ve had at WH since I’ve been here. We put our graduating seniors on stage and then let the church loose. For the next 90 minutes, these students heard how we have seen God work in them and through them. No agenda, no music, just God-stories all morning long.
And it was awesome.
When we started planning the service months ago, there was some hesitation. Sure, it could be an awesome spiritual marker, but what about those who hadn’t made their faith a priority? What about those who came only to the midweek life group? The rest of the church wouldn’t know who they were. What about those students whose families weren’t believers? Would they even show up? What if nobody said anything?
Is the reward of having a spiritual marker for our graduates, our student ministry, and the church as a whole worth the risk? That’s the question that ultimately we had to deal with and I’m proud of our Creative and Student Ministry Teams in their answer – YES.
Losing Control Of A Service
We had in our minds the service lasting about an hour. There were a couple of times when I tried to ‘wind down’ the sharing. Wasn’t going to happen. People kept getting up telling stories of how this student coached their kid in Upward. This student babysat and the kids wanted to grow up to be like them. A couple of students were now followers of Jesus this past year because of these students. Life change story after life change story.
Every time there was a lull, I’d stand up to close the service but someone else would stand up. Finally the seniors just took the microphone from me and said – “Just sit down.”
But what a marker it was for our seniors. What a marker it was for the rest of our student ministry. What a marker for our church.
Boundaries in Ministry
Got asked this question today from a seminary student — How do you keep boundaries so that your still a father and husband AND do ministry?
Here’s what I wrote him…
Great question. Boundaries are hard to maintain and keep. This issue is not just a clergy issue either. I think all highly relational professions have this problem.
From the outset, this is why it is so important that the spouse is ‘called’ to the job as well. If the wife (spouse) isn’t on the same page in ministry as the other, it sets the family up for a disaster of a train wreck. Any new minister that is thinking about ministry, I ask that question first – where is your spouse in this decision? What does he (or she) think? Are they on board with this? Are they going to be a help/partner with you in this ministry?
If the ‘other’ isn’t on the same page, it’s doubtful they are called in the first place. Furthermore, it will be next to impossible to define and keep the idea of boundaries. It sets up the very real possibility of jealousy and bitterness entering the relationship because ‘he spends so much time with them and not the family.’ (Or she as the case may be.)
Having said that, there are some tips that I wish someone had taught me earlier in my career. It would have saved us some headaches and heartaches. Here are my thoughts — in no particular order.
1. You can’t save/help/mentor everyone. It’s a physical impossibility. Jesus couldn’t do it either. He picked a core ring of 12, then 3 out of those. You do the same. Take people who are learners and WANT to go on the journey with you. It’s okay to tell people – “No, I don’t have the resources to help, guide, mentor you at this time.”
2. Have a day off. A FULL DAY. TAKE IT. Don’t answer the phone, email, text — anything. Get lost. Recharge, rethink. Fish, walk, ride, do something.
3. Date your spouse. Once a week — do something together, just the two of you. Ideally, at least once a month this needs to be a real, go out date. And buy flowers for no reason every now and then.
4. Have a curfew. Student pastors’ houses are havens for kids. They should be. It’s cool and awesome. But have a curfew and keep it. Also have ‘no- kid’ hours. Kick them out at 11 or midnight. Have a weekend (or two) a month where they know your house is off limits.
5. Only disciple students as the same gender as you. Only counsel students as the same gender as you. Many guys have found themselves in an ‘oops’ position of being too close to a student of the opposite sex. And just because it didn’t end in adultery or sex doesn’t mean it was a healthy relationship.
6. Have dinner with your family at least 4 to 5 times a week. Sit down, real plates, face to face, tv off, prayer, talking kind of meal. All of the family around. This will teach boundaries for the WHOLE family, kids included. “Can I go play? Or go to this activity?” “Not right now, we are eating dinner as a family” is a great answer.
7. Make it a family thing whenever you can. Doing ministry, we’ve tried to take the whole family whenever we can. We can’t ALWAYS do that but as often as I can, I try to make it a family.
The last thing I’d say is this, there are going to be seasons where the wheels are off the wagon. Life is busy. The emergency or crisis didn’t happen during office hours. That’s life. Roll with it. And understand that kind of thing doesn’t just happen in ministry either. That’s why it’s so important that the marriage really is a partnership where both are called to ministry.
What else would you add?
The McDonaldization of YS?
If you haven’t heard by now, let me help you get the rock that you’re living under off of you. Mark Oestreicher – lovingly referred to as “Marko” – was ‘released’ by Youth Specialties on Monday by Zondervan. I’ll pause a minute and let that sink in.
There’s much that isn’t known at this point. Why? Was this in the plans since day one when Zondervan bought YS? Did the trips to Michigan finally push Marko over the edge where he went through the Zondervan office threatening bodily harm to all suits with a rubber chicken? Will YS now be the newest addition to get your youth version Precious Moments? Does Zondervan have any clue what they’ve just done to themselves?
Here’s what I DO know – I hurt. I hurt for Marko and his family. I think he’s ‘deep’ enough, ‘mature’ enough to know that his value and importance are beyond the title and position he held at YS. Not that this lessens the pain at this moment. In the long run – he and his family are going to be just fine…better than fine.
I also know the reason so many youth workers loved YS because they knew they were getting a quality product that spoke to youth culture relevantly. YS was committed to ministering to the hearts of youth pastors and youthworkers. Not because it was a ministry plan but because people like Yac and Marko knew that relationships matter most, more than curriculum.
On the other side of the fence, Zondervan hasn’t published a relevant youth ministry book on their own in years. The “Big Boys” of Christian publishing have been irrelevant in student ministry for years. Graphically, subject wise, language, the vanilla-ness of it all. They still write for white, suburb, upper-middle class, non-divorced families that live in the south. Most of us haven’t noticed it or been bothered by it because of YS.
I wonder if that’s changed now. I wonder if the future of YS is really a “Back to the Future” for the rest of us. And to me this is the real tragedy of the week. I’m completely confident that Marko will find a place to land, to minister, to continue his impact on student ministry for the Kingdom. He’s not the loser here.
Zondervan are losers in this. Not that kind of loser…well…okay, that kind as well. They’ve lost/fired a prophetic voice for student ministry. In an arena where relational equity is everything, they just shoved that out the door and who knows when they’ll earn that back.
I wonder if the real losers in all of this mess is us. Will we get yet another few years of safe, irrelevant, vanilla curriculum from a company that is going to do its best to not offend anyone? Will we go ‘back to Egypt?’ Or will two crazy guys start making books in their garage again and on their Macs and start the revolution all over?
Here’s hoping that happens…again.
Fields of Faith
I got the honor and privilege to talk to a bunch of high school students tonight at the FCA Fields of Faith event…which due to the rain and cold ended up being a Gym for Jesus. This is a shorten version of the talk last night:
“Every generation has a chance to change the world” U2 tells us. I believe that’s true but why then has so little of the world changed? The ’60′s generation tried to change the world by proclaiming what they were against. Didn’t really change the world because now they teach history in high schools.
The 70′s and 80′s come along and they tried to change the world be focusing on themselves and their lack of a clear identity – Generation X. The 90′s was about GREED. 2000 forward is you and the lie we’re trying to sell you is that you can change the world if you have enough information.
The problem is none of this has really worked and it’s not going to work in the halls of your high school. I think the secret to changing the world around you is found in John 9. The man was born blind. Jesus comes along and makes two mudballs big enough to cover his eyes with his SPIT. The man is blind, not deaf. He can hear Jesus coughing up spit to make these mudballs. He can FEEL the slimy mud made of another person’s spit on his face.
Disgusting. Right? Huge insult in that culture to put saliva on another person’s face. Even though the man was blind, he had dignity, right? This is the secret for changing the world.
The man wanted whatever it was from Jesus’ hands more than he wanted anything that he already had. Dignity. Blindness. Possessions. Whatever he had, as valuable as it MIGHT have been, he was willing to trade it all in for whatever Jesus had in his hands – as disgusting, messy, degrading, and nasty as MAY have appeared. He trusted Jesus that much.
If you want to change your home, start trading with Jesus with whatever of value you think you have for WHATEVER is in His hands. Follow him, trust him, desire him first. That will change your character which in turn will change your world.
An Ebenezer By Any Other Name
Ebenezer: name of Hebrew origin meaning “Stone of the help” (derived from the phrase “Eben ha-Ezer”).
Stone of the help. “Here I raise my stone of the help.” A marker to help us remember the provision or presence of God.
Our students are having their own “Ebenezer Moment” this coming Sunday night. (6 pm, at Western Hills, whole church is invited). They’ve had an incredible summer. We had a few of our students lead a small group, help lead and staff our VBS, as well two weeks of Super Summer where over 6 students made Jesus the Lord of their life. Two other students feel like they are called to full-time missions. Then there are the life change stories of students making major decisions about their life because of Jesus.
I’ve been fortunate to be a part of all this. Now the rest of the church is going to be invited to get in on it as well. Student Ministry Team came up with this idea of having a worship service where the stories could be told…from the students themselves. And that’s what is coming on August 2nd. I’m amped to hear the God-stories from our students.
Perhaps this night will be an ebenezer of another kind for the rest of us, huh? Maybe we ought to have an all-church ebenezer night? I’m liking that idea…but for now – I’ll see you Sunday night.
How Coolness Is Lost
Went to a youth event tonight at Sherwood Lake. It was fun, awesome, great, wonderful as is almost anytime I get to hang with teens.
Below is the actual conversation I had with a teen tonight who shall remain nameless…for now.
GE: So…if you had $15 to waste on either music or the movies, which would you choose? (Which by the way, is a great question that all youthworkers should have in their arsenal. In fact, you need about 5 questions in your back pocket so you can start and have a conversation with any teen.)
NS (Nameless Student to protect guilty): Hmmm. Have to be music.
GE: What songs or album would you buy?
NS: Hard question! I don’t really know.
GE: Okay, give me a couple of artists that you have the most of in your itunes.
NS: (Sticking the dagger in my heart) Well…I’m guessing that most of the stuff I like you’ve never heard of….like Dave Matthews Band.
GE: (Stunned in silence. I holler at Amy.) Do I really look that old with the goatee now? I mean, really? Dave Matthews Band? (I look back at NS who is now laughing very hard at me or with me, not sure.) Do you honestly think I live under a rock or something?
A Taste of Brazil
Thomas, Agnes, and Melissa Schneider were in town this weekend. I first met the Schneiders in 2002. I just arrived at Grace Church in Little Rock as the new youth pastor and a group was taking off for Brazil that November. So I went. It’s been 7 years, 4 more trips with dozens of students later and I can’t wait to go back.
We’ve watched each other kids grow up through email and pictures, catching each other whenever they are stateside. There are some people you meet once and your friends forever – that is the Schneiders.
My Western Hills family got to meet 3 of the 5 this weekend. What a blessing for me to see the connection between the two.
Let me quickly preach why we’ve stay connected to them.
They are about seeing teenagers meet Jesus.
They are about reproducing leaders who love introducing teenagers to Jesus.
They are about serving their community schools with educational programs they couldn’t otherwise afford so they can introduce teens to Jesus.
They are about serving and helping small, local churches do youth ministry so they can introduce teenagers to Jesus.
They are funny and cool as heck.
I think that pretty much sums it all up. Some of favorite pics of the weekend.
Super Summer 2009 Video Clip
We’ll show this in the morning at church but it gives some pictures to what I was talking about yesterday.
Why Student Ministry Is STILL Important
Yes, I’ve been quiet over the last few weeks. A much needed time of recharging and DOING life instead of just writing about it.
This past year in Christian Education (don’t get me started on that term) circles there has been some debate over the need/effectiveness of student ministry in the ‘new culture.’ There is always room to critique and change HOW we’ve done student ministry. In fact, that should happen every year inside every youth ministry. We’re in the middle of doing that right now at Western Hills. That’s healthy, freeing, smart, and will force a team to keep their vision in the center versus their calendar.
However, to move to the point of saying we no longer need it but need to focus on adults instead is throwing out the baby with the bath water. I always thought that. After my experience yesterday…I’m even more convinced how important student ministry is inside a local church.
The fam and I loaded up and spent the day in Salina, KS where our high school students were spending Super Summer this year. 27 girls, 3 guys, 6 sponsors, and 2 nurses went from Western Hills. (Note to all Topeka area high school boys…do the math. That’s all I’m sayin’.)
Let me jot down my random observations of yesterday…
Brandon Gunn, our intern, is a freakin’ beast. I’m watching this guy explode in his giftedness and calling. He’s grown so much in his walk with the Lord over the last 5 months. I’m humbled and bless he’s a part of this team. Students talk…so do staff. And what they are saying about how he leads is good. Questioner, encourager, teachable, passionate, relational. All of that is good. But what is impressing me more about this young man is this – you can see him falling more in love with Jesus than student ministry or the church or students or a position. THAT is what being a great leader is really about.
Our volunteers get it. We’ve had 4 students trust Jesus as their Lord and Savior this week. I asked every one of them the same question yesterday – what turned the light on for you? What made it clear that this was the decision you needed to make? Every one of them mentioned one of our volunteer leaders. The music and the preaching and the atmosphere – helpful? Sure. But our adult volunteers made it clear. THAT is huge – another adult that isn’t mom and dad that they can unpack questions with and trust.
Shared experiences help create momentum. A couple of the students that accepted Christ wanted to be baptized immediately. I gotta be honest…I didn’t want to do it. That’s a big deal, didn’t want to steal that opportunity and moment from parents or our home church. It’s a huge celebration for us as a local church. I had my list of reasons.
Then I listened to their particular stories. I can’t/won’t get into the particulars here but it would have been more wrong and damaging of me to NOT baptize them in the lake at Webster yesterday. The whole time I’m hearing their stories, I KNOW that God is just hammering on my pride and list of reasons. HE’s telling me – shut up and obey me. Baptize these girls.
Our students are getting it. When we actually baptized them, I had the other students that were instrumental on their journey with me in the water. I told them that when they come out of the water, the journey is starting, not ending. Before we do this, I gotta know are you willing to keep walking on this journey with them AFTER they come up?
You could see the light bulbs come on. For many students, the youth group is the only context they have to walk with Jesus with other people. They may have complacent or even combative contexts when they go back home and if they don’t have others to walk with Jesus with, they’ll die on the vine. It stresses the importance of smaller groups of lifewalking than ever before.
What students really need in an adult volunteer… Spend a week at a youth camp, and you quickly feel your age. It’s exhausting – physically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s work. It’s fun, it’s awesome, it’s rewarding beyond words but there is no denying it…it’s work. And as an adult it’s easy to see what we DON’T bring to the table. We can’t run as fast or as long as we used to. We’re not as physically talented as we once thought we were. We aren’t as cool as we thought. All of these thoughts can get exposed when you spend time with students.
I honest believe that these thoughts are from the enemy. I don’t talk like that alot – maybe I should. But the reality is that teens need wiser, deeper adults around them. Someone other than mom and dad to listen, speak, and question Jesus in their life. Safe places for them to unpack their questions, to figure out their faith. They need to see it in somebody other than their parents. They don’t need an athletic trainer, a running buddy, someone who can win at sports or tug-of-war. That’s fun but not eternal.
And this is why student ministry is STILL important.
Last As Student Pastor
It’s been 10 days since I last blogged. It was good to have a break. Now time to break the fast.
Last night we had our Christmas Party/Junk Food/Gift Exchange Extravaganza. It was a blast. Couple of highlights for me.
First, commissioning Toby. I got Toby a real shepherd’s crook as well as a copy of My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I know I surprised him. Told him that every shepherd needed a crook. (There’s a joke in there somewhere…) They use it for three main things, first is to guide the sheep. A nudge there, a nudge there and they’ll go there – as long as they know your voice. Second is to rescue sheep. Their necks fit in the crook perfectly. The third thing – support. A leaning staff, if you will.
Which led me to the devotional by Oswald Chambers. My mom gave me my first copy of this book. I wore it out. I still have it. I still read it. It’s been the second single most important resource of my life (next to the Bible).
This is pretty much what I wrote to Toby inside the cover:
Pastoring is hard. No one tells you how hard it is when you start. You figure that out along the way. One of those sleepless, tossing, turning nights when you realize no other job did this to you.
Student Pastoring is double hard. Yes, it’s also twice the fun but it comes at high cost. No one tells you how alone you will feel at times. We know in our head we are not, but it doesn’t seem to translate at times in our stomachs.
And after doing this for all these years, I keep coming back to this simple principle: You are what you eat. Your best ministry will come out of the overflow of what you feed your soul.
This book has been a staple of my diet. Oswald has become a mentor, a Yoda for me within these pages.
That’s my prayer for you. Be a Yoda, dripping with Jesus.
And you’re not alone.
The coolest part of the evening – our gift from the students. It’s a huge book with notes and letters from them, scattered in there are pictures. What a great gift.
In a moment of irony, our first youth group (12th Avenue) did the same thing – gave us a huge book of notes and pictures – that I still have and display in my office.
I was asked after the party – “How does it feel to be done with your last official duty as a student pastor?”
I didn’t really have an answer at the time. I was just enjoying the moment and the party.
This morning…it feels awesome.
Here’s why…it’s what we’re supposed to do. Toby is exactly the right guy for Pinecrest. We’re exactly the right family for Western Hills. It’s all good and right. So I’ll miss the relationships – sure.
But I can’t help but think God is pleased with this whole process – the decisions, how the decisions were made, and how it’s all playing out.
And that’s awesome.
Failure
This was the topic of our Downtown Lunch Club. It was the last one for me here in Denver. I guess I’ll have to crank one up in Topeka.
How is failure framed in your work culture? Is it seen as an event? I stole this straight from Seth Godin’s blog. Is failure seen as a learning experience or something that should always be avoided? How do you create a culture where it is okay to fail? Are there limits to how much failure is tolerated?
How did Jesus deal with failure? How many different ways did Jesus deal with failure? How could that be translated in the workplace?
Lots of great insights and stories hit the table.
One question I had as I left the lunch was this – why in the business world failure is seen differently than in the church world? Let’s say we started a program that halfway through it we realized was a failure (it cost too much, demanded too much volunteer time, had little to no ‘bang’, wasn’t accomplishing the set out goals). In the business realm, it appears easier to stop that program and reallocate the resources to something else or create a new something else that would accomplish the goals.
In ministry, why is the general response to be keep that program on life support until the very end? Is it the relational investment? Don’t businesses have the same kind of relational investment? Or is it the culture that the program is started in? Would it be possible to do ministry where the mission so marinates everything we do that we are able to evaluate, change, reallocate resources, maybe even end certain programs so that we could continue to do (or improve) other things that DO accomplish our goals without the dramatic explosion of emotions that normally encompass change inside a church?
I’ve always tried to create a culture where failure isn’t the worst thing that can happen. In fact, I try to embrace failure as an opportunity for something better. It’s gotten dicey a couple of times. One particular instance comes to mind immediately. I’m pretty sure I’ve posted this story before but I can’t find the link and besides that – it’s worth retelling.
We had a middle school lock-in and we had a couple of our upperclassmen help with the entertainment. These two guys were juniors in high school at the time, were leading their own small group. By 10 am the morning after the lock-in, I started hearing from some parents who were very angry about the night before.
Turns out that these guys showed a PG-13 movie. Not just any PG-13 movie, but Austin Powers: Goldmember at a middle school church lock-in. It was a dumb, bad decision. Quite a few parents were ready for blood and on a certain level, I didn’t blame them.
I had two meetings that week. The first meeting was with the two students. It wasn’t pretty. They got lit up pretty hard by me. I let them read the emails I was getting from parents. They understood.
I then turned around and met with the parents and I took responsibility for it. Told them it was my fault. It was – I left those guys in charge, trusted their leadership and it turned out badly. But it also allowed me to tell those parents that I would take the risk again because I believed if students were given the opportunity to lead, we’d see awesome things take place for God. So while I was sorry, while I had made a mistake this time, I wouldn’t stop putting students in charge of ministry.
We actually had a few families leave the church because of this.
Fast forward 1 year later and the same two guys are feeding the homeless underneath the Broadway Bridge in Little Rock. They take their whole small group of teenage guys to do this every other Tuesday night. That turns into a youth group project making beds for a shelter.
All of that to say – leaders must be able to see past the failure to the value beyond it, to the possibilities beyond it. It’s on us to create cultures where failures are not the final word but rather opportunities for something greater.
Youthworker/Parent Weekend Wrap-Up
I’m done speaking for the conference.
It was good…great to reconnect with some old friends, meet some new ones.
Richard Ross spoke and did an outstanding job.
A couple of thoughts about the retreat. First, the concept is great. Get parents and youthworkers away for a weekend. I love it. The execution of it wasn’t all that great. The value of having a weekend with the parents of the youth in your group is the relational connection you could have. But the weekend didn’t allow a lot of that. When the parents were in sessions, the youthworkers were in worship and vice versa.
Then the meals ended up being infomercials, not relational face time.
Overall, it was a good experience. One that could be awesome with some tweaking.
Other news – the fam went and saw Madagascar 2 tonight. It was….average. It was a slow movie. I thought it was funny but then I started thinking about the funny parts and they all were either the penguins or Sasha Cohen’s character – King Lemur.
Fun weekend so far.
Fastbreak 2k8 Redux
It’s over, done, finished…at least the event is. Let’s hope the effect of it keeps working for a lot longer.
Here’s the quick hit of the weekend…
3 Sessions – snapshots of Jesus. His temptation (no shortcuts), his sermon (on the mount – extreme truth), his heart (sinners loved to hang with him – extreme grace).
2 hours on High Ropes course. Saw one kid scared to death of heights get in a harness, climb up, do one element then come down. Awesome job. Saw another kid scared to death of heights do the whole course then jumped off the leap of faith.
4 hours of volleyball, putt-putt, hiking, and tether ball.
4 outstanding meals.
Lots of hot chocolate.
1 night of smores.
1 Connect 4 tournament.
Some pics of the weekend.
The Hardest Thing To Get Ready For A Retreat Is Yourself
Songlists
Journals
Bibles
Snacks
Smores
Pens
Games
Water bottles
Talks
Food
Volunteers
Medical Release Forms
Check for Retreat Center
Maps for Volunteers
Cell phone numbers of drivers
As I’m packing up for the retreat, I noticed a couple of missing things on my list.
First – my own clothes. Yeah…somehow me wearing the same clothes all weekend long doesn’t sound like a great idea.
Second – my own heart. We pray for students hearts, we pray for safety, we pray for the food…how about praying for us leaders? Pray for our hearts to be challenged, energized, recharged, reconnected, inspired, and refreshed?
The talks are ready. The breakout questions are ready. The meals are ready. Time to get myself ready.
What do I want out of a weekend like this?
Laughter
Laughter is a memory maker, the front door to a heart. It’s makes new things less intimidating and uncomfortable.
Refreshment
A good retreat is when you come home refreshed…spiritually. We’ll a late night or two, you can be sure of that. But we’ll also have loads of hang time.
We start tonight at 4.47.
Where Are The Workers?
Our student ministry is growing. I mean…really growing.
Last night we had close to 50 students, by far the largest night we’ve had at Pinecrest.
We had 3 volunteers. 3. THREE.
Granted, we were missing two because of Canadian Thanksgiving. (All this time I thought of Canada as our 51st state. Now that I have a Canadian on the team, I’m learning they are a sovereign country and have their own holidays in which families actually get together. It’s a shock. But I digress.)
Last night a well-meaning individual suggested to just “stand up in front of the church and ask for volunteers.” After all, we need workers, right? How much do you compromise just because you need the warm body?
Last night was crazy but it worked. Get the wrong person on the team and all of a sudden crazy turns into disaster. Crazy – we can deal with. Disaster – not so much.
We’ll take inexperienced people who are teachable. I have some great workers that can mentor/train for a season before throwing them to the deep end. But I can’t have people who already know all there is to know about student ministry and walk around like the Gestapo.
Or can I? Is that part of leadership? The vets shaping and discipling the Gestapo youth worker into something more, something deeper than what is there at the present? Do you take the chance of conflict for the possible reward of a great volunteer? Have I critiqued my own answer with these questions?