leadership ramblings
JoPa’s Lesson on Legacies
This image of Joe Paterno’s shoes originally appeared on latimes.com
This originally appeared on whillschurch.org as an weekly evo.
My first memory of Joe Paterno was the 1979 Sugar Bowl. Alabama beat Penn State to be the National Champions but I vividly remember those high-water pants, black shoes and thick glasses. I think I made fun of him when my dad told me “Son, Bear Bryant is the greatest football coach to ever walk a sideline but that guy right there is a half-step behind him.” That is high praise from an Alabama fan and Penn State would become a team I loved rooting for – as long as they weren’t playing Alabama.
We have all watched Joe Paterno walk the sidelines over these 46 years. Pants rolled up to avoid getting them dirty and to save money on dry cleaning. Glasses that only he could get away with wearing. That high-pitched raspy voice piercing thru the noise of a stadium full of fanatics. We’ve heard the stories. He goes to the Trustees and demands them to RAISE the entrance requirements for Penn State. He lived in the same modest house for 45 years with a listed phone number. He gives the university 3.5 million dollars to build a new library. Penn State has never even been close to a NCAA violation. Players talk of his generosity and life lessons they learned while eating at his house.
The numbers are staggering.
2 National Championships
46 years as the head coach at Penn State.
40 winning seasons.
409 victories, most by any Division 1 head coach – yes, even more than Bear Bryant.
He was more than a coach. He was the university’s conscience.
At least, that was the image we were led to believe.
Every story on Paterno now starts with the end of his life – fired from Penn State for his role in the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Is this how he will forever be remembered?
I’m conflicted. I don’t think he should be totally exonerated, excused from all wrongdoing. Nor is he anywhere close to the tyrant that is Sandusky. Figuring out exactly where on that scale Paterno should be was never going to be easy. Now it may be next to impossible because he’s gone.
44 days between his firing and his death.
There will be no retrospective interview five or ten years from now with him. There’ll be no cool 30 for 30 film with a happy ending. Just this – a sharp pain of disappointments and questions.
1 act of cowardice.
Or was it ignorance? Or confusion? Or humiliation? Does it matter? The 1 will be remembered more than the 409.
Legacies are fragile.
The minute you start thinking about your legacy and protecting it is exactly the minute it begins to shatter. The minute a legacy becomes the point, it’s over. Disaster. Compromise. At that point, the legacy is really no longer the point. PROTECTING the IMAGE of the legacy is the point. And that is a different beast altogether.
I wonder if this is what happened with Joe Paterno. I wonder if those around him started thinking this way as well.
The 1 is remembered more than the 409.
Whether it should be this way or not is irrelevant. It IS this way. It always HAS been this way. 1 bite from the fruit. 1 act of murder. 1 strike at the rock keeps Moses out of the promised land. 1 laugh earns Sarah a sharp rebuke. 1 doubt mutes Zacharias for 9 months. 1 kiss betrays a friend and a Savior.
We all have our 1 moment. It’s why I will continue to sing the old song:
My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand. All other ground is sinking sand.
Prepare The Heart and You Prepare The Room
We’ve been trying a new ‘discipline’ in our worship services the last couple of weeks at Western Hill – we’re calling it ‘prepare the room.’
Rick actually came up with the phrase after going to a worship conference last year. He observed that at the conference before any worship service, there was always a few minutes at the start where they prepared the room. Could have been a video or a practice or silence – but it was a prepared, purposeful pause at the start of the service to remind themselves that they were about to engage with the Holy God in worship.
What does that look like in a local congregation that meets every single Sunday morning?
And no – the Opening Song doesn’t really count as “prepare the room.” See Northpoint’s video below to see what I’m talking about. So last week we started with the video below followed by another video depicting Psalm 31 – My times are in your hands.
The feedback has been pretty positive. Not everyone got the “artsy” rendition of Psalm 31, but everyone loved the reminder to get prepared to worship.
It’s a new tradition, new spiritual discipline of worship for us at Western Hills – prepare the room. And it’s rubbing off in other areas as well. I find myself walking into a meeting or a lunch – pausing in the car to ‘prepare the room.’
Prepare The Room
Psalm 31//My Times video by Jakub Blank
I hate Religion, love Jesus Video
I actually stumbled on this video the day it was uploaded – January 10. I sent it to our creative team before it went all viral. Now it is everywhere with different people sounding off on it. We ultimately decided to NOT use it mainly because it didn’t exactly fit the series we were in and we thought it would work better in a small group setting.
I’m showing the video below.
Overall, I like the video. I don’t interpret this guy as trashing the Church. Some will disagree. Which is part of the problem of the video, the shortcomings of the video. I really have 3 issues with the clip – that I think would be great for a small group discussion.
First, love the “voting Republican doesn’t make you Christian” slap at the very beginning of the video. Very true. But I wouldn’t have stopped there. Jesus had words for the Zealots and the Pharisees. Anything that compromised Jesus as the solution to the problems of the world, Jesus had a quote for. Politics, education, religion.
So my question/issue to him is this – does he feel that way about all political parties? Or is it angst just reserved toward the Republicans? Democrat, Libertarian or anyone else who’s hope for our culture is in the political system is in the same boat (albeit the opposite side) as the Republicans. To limit the sting of his words to one party is doing exactly what he is railing about.
Second, I don’t think Jesus was thinking of me on the cross. That is a very ego/man-centric understanding of what is going on at the cross. The cross is all about God’s character and glory, not the value of us. Yes, we get the benefit of the transaction of sacrifice – no doubt about that. But God was thinking of Himself – his promise and vision of a world without death and sin. And dieing for the consequence was the only way that was going to happen without blowing it all up and starting over.
So I think God was thinking about that. Not me.
Lastly, I can see where he comes across as an anti-church, anti-organized anything guy. But as I read his other comments, I don’t think that is him at all. I think he cares deeply about the church and wants to be a part of a movement that sees church get closer to being a Grace Station instead of Code Enforcement. I think there are glimpses of that in the video but not overtly so. I hear a guy who loves the concept of the church as the Bride of Christ but hating the examples and experiences he’s had with her so far.
And that I think is the real shortcoming of the video. There isn’t a deep, holistic handling of the issues he brings up. They make great soundbites. At times he sounds like a prophet…statements of profound truth and conviction. Then he takes an abrupt left turn leaving that conversation to sound like an angry teenager screaming shallow, pithy cliches at his parents that he himself doesn’t really understand. There are some nuanced, deeper opportunities he missed. Instead of pushing us into deeper conversations about theology or the church and what transformation COULD look like, he’ll take the quick exit to hit another platitude.
But then again, that might have been the point of the whole exercise anyway. Maybe his point was to generate conversations and dissonance with people who otherwise wouldn’t think twice about their own understanding of grace, church, Jesus, or religion.
Like I said earlier – I like the video. I’ll keep my eyes out for the next piece they produce. My hunch is they will get better and better. I think it’s worth a watch and even worth some discussion time in a small group. I think it would spark some deeper conversations of what is the church, what marks Christianity different from all other religions, and what exactly is my role in all of that.
Here’s the video:
King, Warrior, Lover, Friend
I’m going thru Men’s Frat with some guys at the church. (We meet at 6am on Tuesday mornings – consider this your invite.)
Before I get to the thing that hit me this morning – I got a glimpse of Bill Smith in the video this morning. That 2-second glance of his white head just sent a flood of memories to me. Who is Bill Smith, you ask? Bill was the host for Men’s Fraternity in Little Rock when Robert Lewis was teaching it. He’d start the morning off and moved guys into their small groups.
But more than that, Bill Smith was Rowland’s (my best friend) dad. He’d swing by the church office and take us to lunch when we were on staff together in Little Rock. The Smith family was always generous with us in terms of holidays and get-togethers. We were always invited and Bill was always there. His distinct voice and sense of humor filling the room.
I got to know Bill Smith in his ‘twilight’ years as cancer tore at his body. It never got to his mind or his heart for discipling and mentoring men. Bill gave me a fishing lure signed by Bill Dance and a signed copy of a devotional book that he wrote. I remember him telling pulling me off to the side one day and telling me – you’re a good friend to Rowland. Keep him out of trouble. I asked him how in the world did he expect me to do that when he couldn’t? That great laugh kicked in.
A neat moment this morning.
The 4 faces of manhood: King, Lover, Warrior, and Friend. A man needs to have balance in each and balance among them all. Robert did a great job defining what each of these faces look like in the scriptures but his words of what happens when they are out of balance are sticking with me:
King – too much is a TYRANT, too little is ABDICATION.
Lover – too much becomes a CRITIC, too little is COLD.
Warrior – too much is DESTROYER, too little is WIMP.
Friend – too much is USER, too little is LONER.
As we went around the circle this morning, one of my heroes asked the question – “I wonder where our wives would put us on this scale? That would give us a true picture of where we are really at.”
Great time this morning…even if I was a little late.
Multiplying Your Ministry
This is the first part of some training I’m taking my leaders through at Western Hills. Here are the notes to part 1.
Couple of thoughts as we begin on this topic of multiplication.
First, when we speak of multiplying our ministry, what we are really talking about is multiplying people. People advance the Kingdom of God, not programs. Programs will and should come and go. Programs are tools to be used and evaluated and changed. Their effectiveness will change from year to year.
People on the other hand are the constant. It is people that we are called to multiply and make disciples. The life change stories, the relationships – these are what we are talking about when we talk about multiplying ministry.
Second, this is essential if we really want to be an outward-focused church that functions as the hands and feet of Christ to our community. ESSENTIAL. Any church or follower of Jesus that takes seriously the words of Jesus MUST effectively and consistently multiply their ministry. It is what is at the core of the Great Commission (Matthew 28).
Quick Exercise #1
List all the stuff you are involved in. School stuff, family stuff, church stuff, work stuff. Just a quick list that demands time of you other than specifically your job.
Keep that list handy – we are going to come back to it.
The 3 Circles Of Multiplication
I think there are 3 concentric circles that we need to think about when it comes to multiplication. No particular order, all are needed and important. Ministry, People, and Process.
Circle 1- Ministry WORTH multiplying
This is the program side of the equation. Lot’s of questions and issues we can deal with in this circle. Is it relevant? Is it fun? Is the effort it takes to pull it off worth it? Is it making a difference? Is it producing what we want it to?
But the fundamental, core question that MUST be dealt with is this: Is the focus of the ministry the same as God’s focus?
God’s focus is clear. Great Commandment (Matthew 22:37-40) and Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20). Love God, Love Others, Serve All, Make Disciples who do the same. At Western Hills we articulate these as – Love, live and serve.
Just pay careful attention to question. It’s not “are there elements that support or participate in love, live and serve?” Almost every program does that in a church but not every program has it as its focus. The question is what is the real focus of that ministry? Is it reaching the lost, making disciples, serving the community? Time to be brutally honest.
Hold on to this question — put it right over here. Let me quickly hit the other two circles.
Circle 2 – People READY to Multiply
Should you multiply yourself in every person inside your ministry?
Harsh reality is NO. Every person deserves to be ministered to. NOT every person is ready to be multiplied into leadership. 2 Timothy 2:2 – invest in able, qualified people.
Some are not ready because of character issues, giftedness, competency, season of life.
Different roles will have different expectations.
The core question in this circle is this:
Do you invest in potential OR do you look for provenness?
Circle 3 – Process WORTH Multiplying
Key Question: Is there a simple yet proven process that moves people from spectator to participant to multiplier?
Lots of other questions go into this circle. Do you have processes that protect the people AND the ministry in case things go upside down? Do you have clearly defined roles and leaders in that process? Do you have markers that let you know you are heading the right direction? What skills and competencies are you looking for?
To successfully and consistently multiply leaders, all three of these circles need to have these key questions answered with definite action points.
The point tonight is not to answer all these questions or even flesh out all of these circles but rather to give us a 35,000k foot viewpoint of this process. To begin to start thinking in these terms so that as we add these pieces to the puzzle, multiplication can start happening.
Quick Exercise #2: The Importance of Ministry Worth Multiplying Circle
Take that list of activities that you created at the start of the evening.
Ask for volunteer.
There is a great opportunity to tutor at risk kids after school, using any curriculum I want. I can even use the scriptures for character studies but I need someone to help me, are you in?
First – any opportunity that I’m offered I’m first going to my list of stuff that I’m already involved in and I’m asking myself – is this opportunity WORTH fitting into my life? Either cramming it into an already packed life OR by saying NO to something else. WORTH is relatively defined.
I’m also going to evaluate my list of activities with this question – is this WORTH doing?
Second – as a leader – I want to make sure I define WORTH like God has defined WORTH. This is a love, live and serve opportunity. This is a Great Commandment/Great Commission opportunity.
My job as a leader is NOT to guilt people into showing up or participating. That won’t last and it’s not of God. My job is to be a champion of what God is doing. To point out the already there eternal value and worth of the opportunity.
Quick Exercise #3 – Take a ministry you are in and walk thru 3 circles answering key questions.
Example: Men’s Fraternity
Circle 1 – focus is to disciple men into being spiritual leaders who love, live and serve. YES, worth it.
Circle 2 – Need a key PROVEN leader for director/champion position. Same vision, passion for discipleship. Deep Christ-follower, self-starter, available to do it, teachable, high character, honest, not perfect, vulnerable.
Found the guy – now ready to start.
Circle 3 — Process proven to work
Other churches have their trophies, we don’t…yet. We have process we want to try, run with it and evaluate as we go.
Nor do we have a process to replace Director…yet. We will need to address this if this is going to make it beyond just one season. Every ministry needs to wrestle with that question otherwise focus becomes the program and filling slots.
4 Foundational Multiplication Principles
1. Make micro decisions with macro viewpoint of does this advance God’s Kingdom?
2. Call people NORTH. Even yourself.
Ask more of people than where they are. Don’t ever demand more of those around you than yourself. Keep Love, Live, Serve in the forefront.
3. Something is better than nothing.
It’s easier to steer than start. GO! Starting somewhere and changing it later is better than doing nothing until you have the perfect plan. We know what doing nothing produces – nothing.
4. Invest in PEOPLE, not the program.
Programs have shelf life. Our job isn’t to keep the program running. Our calling is to make disciples who love, live, and serve.
Open Questions, Comments, and Thoughts
Which circle should we start with? Depends. All three need to be developed and dealt with but program and condition of culture will have a HUGE role in determining which circle to tackle first.
Key entry points into ministries is PEOPLE (relationship) and MINISTRY (program) but long term investment will only happen if all three are developed.
PROCESS is the most neglected circle in most churches. They spend time and energy running around to fill slots instead of developing people. Must change in order to be a multiplying church.
A Different Kind Of Appointment
I fell off a ladder a couple of weeks ago and in the process of ridiculously embarrassing myself, got a cool bruise on my rear end and a pinched nerve in the neck.
I’d been going to the chiropractor and was having some improvement when the workman comp people called and said stop going there and go to this other doctor. So I did. But I wasn’t happy about it. You can guess some of my thoughts – waste of time, money…blah,blah.
My appointment was for 12:30 today. I showed up early for the paperwork. Was in the room at 12:30. By 1:15 there was still no doctor. 1:20 – no doctor.
I tweeted my complaint for the world to read. I thought about leaving. I’ve got things to do, people to see.
She came in the room at 1:25.
First, she was incredibly nice and personal. Nice experience after having to wait an hour. She asked the question…
“So, Mr. English, where do you work?”
“Western Hills Baptist Church.”
“What do you do there?”
“I’m one of the pastors on staff.”
“Really? You the Senior Pastor?”
“Guilty as charged.”
“I’m curious as to what kind of Baptist church would hire an earring wearing pastor?”
“One that is really learning how to love Jesus.”
We talked for a while.
A Unitarian and a Baptist talking Jesus in a Catholic hospital.
You can’t make this stuff up.
As she left the room, God poked me. You’d think at some point I would get it. You would think that the light would come on reminding me that my schedule really isn’t my schedule. It’s His. It was like he was sarcastically asking me – is it okay if I steal an hour or two of your day in exchange for an opportunity for you to tell my story?
You know that it is, Father. You just may have to remind me to see it thru your eyes…not mine.
Open Letter To Our Mission Trip Takers
Once again we have a solid group of students – both high school and college who have already committed to doing a mission project in the summer of 2012. This is such a huge highlight for me because I know these are life-changing opportunities for both the students as well as the place they go. The big one for Western Hills is of course our partnership with Word of Life in Porto Alegre, Brazil.
This is the letter I wrote the team this week…
An open letter to our students going on a mission trip this summer,
From your favorite pastor. (Okay – I’m your only one. Just humor me for a moment.)I don’t want to sound over-dramatic but there two things that I think the Lord is pressing on me to say to you.
First – thank you. For the last 4 years, the only international mission trips that Western Hills has been a part of has been with students. It should NOT be this way – we grown ups should be modeling for you what the Great Commission and Great Commandment look like. But it is. You are showing us.
You are showing us to be obedient to the command of Jesus – to go into ALL the world to tell ALL people about Jesus. We need this. I need this. Without this model – we’ll never grow into the church we need to be. You are the church of the NOW.
Second – hang in there and get wet.
What the heck is that supposed to mean?
Here’s what it means – Joshua 3 – God has given this ridiculous sized mission to a young leader named Joshua who has never led before. The mission was to occupy the land that God had been promising Israel for hundred of years. It would be a mission of incredible importance and supreme danger.
The biggest obstacle? The first 50 feet in front of them. The Jordan River. In flood stage.
In order to get to the land, they had to cross the river and it just looked insurmountable. Joshua was thinking about giving up before they ever got started.
Look at how many times God says to Joshua “Do not be afraid, have courage” in the first 3 chapters. It’s ridiculous. It’s beyond ridiculous. It makes you wonder if Joshua was really just a big baby and God was having to babysit him. Why does God take so much time at the start to “talk Joshua up?”
Because the biggest obstacle to completing the mission of God will always be the first 50 steps. ALWAYS!
The enemy knows that if he can get you to quit early, it’s done. People who have seen God work and have a taste of God coming through at the last minute – they don’t quit. They know better. So the pressure to quit is ALWAYS at the start, near the beginning.
And again at the very end.
Back to Joshua 3 – get wet. God is going to give Joshua a glimpse of what He can do if he will just obey. A glimpse enough to get him moving and obeying. God tells Joshua and the leaders to go stand in the Jordan river as if they are going to cross it.
When they do this — the river stops flowing. It becomes a dry river bed. Easy to cross. And they cross it. And hence a pattern is started for God’s people. You start the journey, you be obedient, you get wet. Then I’ll show up. But you are going to have to get wet first.
So my friends, here is what I’m telling you…
GET WET, PEOPLE!!!!!!
And let the rest of us watch God work in you and through you.
It’s my honor to be your pastor and friend.
Worship Leader vs. Worship Pastor
Got into an interesting discussion this past week with a buddy about worship leaders and worship pastors. After we made the requisite metro jokes – we got serious for a moment. Here were some of thoughts….
A worship leader (wait for it….) leads music and song whereas a worship pastor leads people into experiences that collide them with God.
A leader plans and practices transitions from song to song whereas a pastor looks for holy interruptions that could send us deeper.
A leader will make sure his part of the service is done well while a pastor focuses on the WHOLE worship experience.
A leader will be great with the music, a pastor will experiment with different disciplines (silence, prayer, readings, communion, video, etc).
A leader will evaluate notes and tuning, a pastor will evaluate the impact and response.
A leader will understand response as someone walking down the aisle, a pastor will see response as life change once the service is over.
A leader wants to run a smooth practice, a pastor wants to develop other worshippers.
What would you add?
The Unfiltered Truth About Tebow
It’s not rocket science why Tim Tebow is so polarizing. It’s part Jesus…and part Tim Tebow.
Listen, I cringe at the “Tebowing” kneeling posture that has somehow become larger than planking. But do you know how many football players kneel on one knee before a game or on the sideline to get focused before the game? Take a look the next time you get a chance. There’s quite a bit. The fact that Tebow is praying when he does it instead of listening to rap music that celebrates guns, drugs, sex, and more sex seems to really bother most of the other NFL teams, ESPN, NFL Network and FOX Sports.
I can understand the hesitancy and skepticism of most people. We’ve been sold the fakes so many times that our first instinct now is to dismiss Tebow as another nut job that one day is going to get found out. How many “Jesus” players have ended up in the news with drug charges, late night arrests, and overall fairly selfish behavior in life?
Then there is the actual gameplay of Tebow. He plays like a linebacker, talks like a pastor, leads like a general, and has a competitive fire of the likes we haven’t seen since….Michael Jordan. We don’t know what in the world to do with him. How is he 4-1?
Every player that has ever played with him says the same exact thing. I believe in him. He’s the biggest competitor on the team. He’s a beast. He can’t throw an out pattern to save his life but he can run over the middle linebacker, get up and do it again on the next play. He’s smart enough to figure out what the defense is doing and what he SHOULD do with the ball. He just can’t always do it. He’s what Ray Lewis would have been like as a quarterback.
I don’t think Tebow is the long-term answer for the Broncos. This run has been nice in terms of the record but it’s painful to watch. And one bad game by the defense renders this offense completely obsolete. See the Lions game.
However, I’m tired of announcers and players trashing and making fun of Tebow because instead of buying bling and Bentleys, he’s building hospitals in the Philippines. Instead of being a jerk and talking in 3rd person, he walks by kids with jerseys and hats and signs autographs until he’s pulled away.
I’m pulling for him. I hope he gets this throwing the ball accurately thing down. Because if he does, he’s going to be a beast of a quarterback and a heck of a leader.
But if he doesn’t get it figured out – the only thing that will be true is that he’s not an NFL quarterback. I’m guessing he’ll still sign autographs, build hospitals, and talk about Jesus.
And that’ll be okay too.
If he only had gone to Alabama.
I’m Not A Real Veteran
I served in the Army. I was a combat engineer, combat military police in charge of prisoner escorts, and finally a Chaplain. I made the rank of Captain which only proves that anybody can join the Army and make Captain.
I was 45 days away from going to Kuwait when we were told to stand down. I resigned my commission 2 months before 9/11. I’ve done forced marches, night fires, NBC training, blown up tanks, roads, bridges, and building. I’ve repelled out of a perfectly good helicopter 100 feet up in the air. I experienced a fellow soldier die in training. I’ve broken up bar fights and help soldiers figure out their marriage as well as introduced them to Jesus.
But I’ve never been shot at. I’ve never dug a hole in the ground with the knowledge that it might just be the only thing between me and heaven. I’ve never had to clear my M-16 of blood and sand or drag a friend back to the Humvee. I’ve never been surrounded by the enemy.
I’ve never been thousands of miles away from my family…missing birthdays, anniversaries, football games, and pizza parties just for the love my country.
But I know men and women who have done those things. I’m both thankful and humbled by their attitude and sacrifice. And I’m thankful. Very, very thankful that they left their homes so that the rest of us can enjoys ours.
The Ministry of Interruption
It’s only Tuesday night and it’s already been a week of interruptions. Which is better than okay. It wasn’t that long ago that a week like this would have totally cratered me and made me one irritable, exhausted man. That was before God smacked me around a bit.
Interruptions are God-opportunities. And they are not even in disguise. They are God’s billboard that is screaming “I AM DOING SOMETHING HERE AND YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND JOIN ME RIGHT NOW!!!!”
A couple of late night phone calls. Some early morning conversations. Another friend who is dealing with the loss of his dad. Another friend dealing with her last days on earth as cancer wins. Another friend dealing with the loss of a sibling. Another young man processing the loss of his best friend at the young age of 29.
God is close to the broken because the broken seem to be open to hearing Him. And that’s the ministry of interruption – being there in that moment. Not to fix it. Good night, some things just can’t be fixed this side of heaven. In fact, I think God chooses not to fix some situations because their is something in the brokenness we can’t get anywhere else. Not sure if I can articulate exactly what THAT is but….
To be in that moment is not rocket-science. Pray, show up, love on them like Jesus, pray, be still, pray, wait, then speak when He speaks. Keep quiet if He is quiet. Be there.
Exposed and Protected
I need to tell this story about my day yesterday. This is the time of year where we enter budget mode at the church. We’ve been dreaming and seeking God’s face as a staff and leaders as to what He has for us in 2012. We’ve prayed through those and are continuing to pray through them, starting to put numbers to those dreams and then those numbers make up the budget.
But putting all of that together, keeping that juggling act of activity focused on Making disciples who love God, live connected, and serve all stretches me in areas that I didn’t even know I had. I love the dreaming and team building part. I love the putting steps in action to accomplish this. I love that more so than ever we have a more holistic approach to this process.
But when it comes to numbers and budgets, I just feel overwhelmed. As a leader, there is this huge temptation to be ‘good at everything’ that comes to your desk. Bible question? I gotcha. Counseling? Marriage? Kids? Sports? Politics? Budgets? As these questions and opportunities come flying at you, there is this evil voice gently whispering – “go ahead, fake it. You can be the expert.” And most leaders know enough about any subject to sound intelligent about for about 5 minutes. After that, the gig is up.
So I’ve learned to just punt that first 5 minutes. There is no sense in pretending, you’re going to get exposed sooner or later. Last night I was asked by a dear friend, ‘how are you really doing.’ I leveled with him – “This is the worst time of the year for me. I feel completely exposed as a leader and inadequate in this area of budgets. I can follow one, I can keep an organization under one. But creating and organizing?”
He just looked at me and said the exact words I needed to hear. “Grant…we’ve got people for that, right?” It wasn’t a question. He pushed me a bit more – “Just close your eyes, trust God and keep teaching the word.” Later that night he said something else that jolted me – “We need to do anything we can to keep bringing people to Jesus Christ. That’s the focus. Nothing else matters.”
Exposed and protected. That’s what I felt last night. What a great place to be as leaders in the church. This is the huge benefit of team leadership, in community with authenticity and humility. I’m off the ledge this morning.
Football Thoughts, Week of September 11
Alabama
The defense is every bit as good as advertised. The offense and special teams needs some work. Their next test will be Arkansas in a couple of weeks. The pundits are saying that the Tide is rolling towards another national championship. I’m thinking that may be premature. Every one in the stadium knows that #3 is getting the ball and that just isn’t a great recipe for a season long run to the Championship. AJ McCarron will have to develop as well as a wideout other than Maze.
Auburn
As Coop and I were watching the game wind down, I told Cooper that the right call would be to throw now with 10 seconds left that way MSU has two plays. MSU runs and Auburn’s safety makes one heck of a play. I’m not sure if MSU just choked away a win or if Auburn is that resilient. Either way, Auburn is 2-0 and while they aren’t as talented or dominant as they were last year – they still play hard, still play the WHOLE game.
Georgia & South Carolina
Uga now has a different meaning. Watching Georgia self-destruct in that game was painful even for me. Murray still makes those one or two bone-head plays a game that just makes you go – “WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??” Which should totally sound familiar for South Carolina fans as they have watched Garcia…dare I use the phrase ‘grow up?’ Shame for Mark Richt – who will probably lose his job after this season.
NFL
The Broncos…here’s the deal. I’m not anti-Orton. It’s just that we’ve seen this ineptness the last 4 years. Dink, dink, short run, turnover, field goals instead of touchdowns, penalties, and unable to finish games. It is clear that Orton is an average quarterback who at times plays awful but generally speaking will play to the level of talent around him. He isn’t going to put the team on his shoulders and take them to the next level.
What we don’t know is what we’ve got in Quinn or Tebow. And since it is apparent that the Broncos are going to be in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, wouldn’t it be great to figure out what you’ve got with Tebow or Quinn? Maybe they do know what they’ve got and it’s so bad they are just trying to get as much as they can in trade value from the other teams. The 23-20 score is so deceptive. The game really wasn’t that close and it was a slow, ugly game. Penalty Bowl.
The cool thing? The Orange Jerseys!!! Love that look!
The only team that I thought looked worse than the Broncs this past weekend was the Chiefs. And unless there is a major attitude change in KC, they could be the worse team in the NFL. They didn’t look ready to play and completely out-coached on Sunday. Could be a long season for the Chefs.
The Ft. Georges In Your Life
This originally appeared on whillschurch.org as the weekly devo.
Thanks to my in-laws, Amy’s entire family was treated to a cruise vacation this summer. That’s a total of 13 of us. It was a great time even though a tropical storm diverted us from our original destinations of St. Martin and St. Thomas to Grand Cayman and Cozumel.
When you travel in a group of 13, a little bit of research goes a long way. We had done our research for St. Martin and St. Thomas but we were no longer going there. There were a couple of flyers on the boat about Grand Cayman and Cozumel but nothing in detail. One possible destination in Grand Cayman was a place called Ft. George.
I love old forts, the history, the cool canons. You can get the best viewpoint of the surroundings from a fort. I drag my family through them whenever I get a chance. Most of the time they end up liking it but quickly get bored. We do get some cool pictures out of these trips…so most of the time, it’s worth it.
According to the brochure, Ft. George provided a great place for pictures. It was the fort that protected Grand Cayman’s bay from pirates. I decided not to really push the fort on the rest of the family but I was going to explore it whether anyone else went with me or not. I did go around humming the theme to Pirates of the Caribbean just to see who else would get in the mood to go with me.
Turns out, I was the only one. But my brother-in-law and his sons reluctantly said they would go. That in turn guilted Amy and my sister-in-law to go along as well.
We get off the boat, I go into the visitor’s center and grab a map. I meet the rest of the crew right outside the gate of the port area. I spread out the map completely looking like a tourist but I don’t care. We’ve got a fort to find. “Gang, listen…this is going to be fun. I promise. These old forts are awesome. It’s not going to be as bad as you think it is.”
As I’m looking at the map, Amy pipes up. “I think found your fort.”
She can barely keep from laughing out loud.
The picture above is Ft. George. Located a mere 12 yards from the entrance to the port. All of it. At least, all that is left. If you look closely, my nephew is sitting on a replica canon. That’s right – the canon isn’t even real. The wonderful view has been replaced with a chain link fence and tropical pink wall. Right behind that wall is the bay and port of Grand Cayman. It’s beautiful. You’ll have to trust me on this one.
I’m still holding the map in my hands with this look of utter disbelief as Amy starts snapping pictures. My sister-in-law is in tears. Amy moves from pictures to video of my stuttering and looking in circles. My nephews start in on the Fort jokes. My brother-in-law said…”You’re right, Grant. That didn’t take any time at all. Not nearly as bad as I thought.”
As the gang took video and pictures – and made many a joke at my expense – I shrugged my shoulders and had to laugh. The trip to Ft. George will be remembered by our family for a long, long, long time. It’s one of the most memorable experiences of all of our time together.
We all have Ft. Georges in our lives. Things that we build up as so important, so meaningful, so wonderful then when we get there it is nothing like we thought it would be. Great plans that don’t pan out. Something or someone doesn’t deliver what was promised or what we thought it should have delivered. Those times can either be a place of major disappointment OR a place of laughter and refocus. Depends partly on our attitude but also partly on who we are traveling with.
This is why a Life Group is such a necessary part of our walk with Jesus. Ft. Georges are going to happen. Some will be funny, some will be painful. All can be bearable if we decide to travel with others that love us and love God.
Before this school year gets too crazy busy and full of your own Ft. Georges – check out a life group and get involved in one. I promise you it will be worth it.
For more information on a life group – click here or email Gary Manford at gmanford AT whillschurch.org.
At the Campus Crusade for Christ, err… I mean Cru Headquarters
I preach this coming Sunday – new series called “We Believe” – and so I got up this morning to put in a few hours of writing while my father-in-law went to some meetings.
CCCI made the news last month with its new name change coming in 2012 from Campus Crusade for Christ to Cru. Reaction was all over the place – some saying “they’ve taken Christ out of the name,” “Bill Bright is rolling over in his grave,” and even had some folks quit giving to the ministry.
I’m here in the heart of the beast and I think it’s my duty to report to you the horrific truth of the matter – these people…are still the most Jesus focused people I know. There are signs at every desk cubicle in the building that say – “People are coming to Christ today because of the work I do.”
I like that.
I also like the name change. It’s actually not anything radical. If you’ve been on a college campus that had Campus Crusade on it in the last 15 years, you’ve already heard “Cru.” Over the years Campus Crusade for Christ got shortened to Campus Crusade then to Crusade then to Cru. Do you have any idea how hard it is to text “I’m going to Campus Crusade for Christ tonight, wanna go with me?” Much easier to say “Going 2 Cru, U can 2.”
I like the name change because it is going to infuse some courage into the campus ministries to keep changing HOW they tell Jesus’ story. The point is to reach as many as possible with Jesus’ story, build them into maturity, then send them back into the wild to do the same. As generations change, so must our methods.
Not the story…just the methods.
Have They Read What Jesus Says?
I’m in the middle of a conversation with a good friend right now about salvation. We both noted that the “brochure” of salvation we were sold as children looks nothing like the words of Jesus. It’s like we were tricked into buying a time-share. Who knew that the “free” lodging was going to be this expensive?
I remember sitting in a life group and this topic came up. I challenged the group to actually read the words of Jesus and look at how He described a relationship with himself. Take up your cross, follow me, obey me, put my yoke upon you, when you DO this, obey, stay IN the vine, produce fruit, there will be some who say ‘Lord, Lord’ that I never knew.
What we often paint as the “hard words” of Jesus is in reality the baseline of His understanding of relationship. What we often paint as the baseline of relationship with Jesus is strangely absent: pray a certain prayer, cognitively recognize certain theological truths, have an emotional experience.
Got your attention yet? It’s concerning to hear the gospel presented as a set of theological truths to be “believed” in with no real life change, no real relational investment to Jesus at all. It’s more than concerning. It’s horrific and “selling” a false Gospel.
What Christianity is (should be) at its core a relationship with Jesus Christ. A living, breathing relationship. And all relationships take some work, some investment. All relationships change us in some way. Bad relationships change us for the bad, good relationships change us for the good. Relationships require time. All that is true of a good, healthy “earthly” relationship is true of our spiritual relationship with Jesus.
I’m not proposing a “works based” salvation. I am suggesting that a relationship with Jesus requires more than just a prayer and cognitive recognition of a set of facts. Just like my relationship with my wife took more than me standing up in a tux and saying “I do.” My whole life changed because of that relationship…and so should any relationship with Jesus.
Just saying….
72 + 9 + 5 + 1= A great chance for a Super Summer
72 students left for Super Summer around lunch today. Plus 9 adult volunteers for 5 days in pursuit of the 1 God. That’s a good equation for life change, a true super summer.
Coop is one of those 72, Amy is one of those 9. Praying for those students and the homes they left today. Praying for those volunteers.
Book Review: Rocket Men
I finished this book on the Brazil trip. It’s one of the few benefits of having 24 hours of travel one way. You can get a lot of reading in. (Or catch up on Burn Notice, Season 4. Which we did that as well.)
Craig Nelson’s Rocket Men is more focused on the particular men that first landed on the moon – Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin. This book really uncovers the layers of the two men, the conflict of who was supposed to get out first, the simulator crashes, the stress of being seconds away of aborting the landing and then life after the moon visit. It’s an easy read, an entertaining read as Craig Nelson knows how to tell a complicated story in a way that most will understand.
Kudos to him for that.
However, for the serious NASA buff…my hunch is that this book will be too full of “minor” discrepancies (errors?). The ones that I noticed were these:
Apollo 4 did NOT do a U-turn after launch and head for the ground, MR-2 and Ham did NOT hit 2,298 miles per SECOND and his discussion on the reliability of the Saturn rockets. The big rockets of Saturn were the most reliable NASA has ever seen. The secondary rockets was where they had their problems. Plus, I’m not sure how Armstrong logged 4,000 hrs in the X-15 in just 7 flights.
The funniest comment I can’t decide if it is an error or if he’s just trying to be funny. He claims that one of the reasons the astronaut wore gold-plated visors was just in case they ran into aliens. It would keep them from seeing their faces.
It was an entertaining read and I got more out of the back story of the men of Apollo 11 than anything else. If you are really interested in NASA and the Apollo missions, you must read Andrew Chaikin’s A Man On The Moon as well as Chris Kraft’s Flight: My Life In Mission Control. These are two of the best books ever on the subject.
This Close…
Just found out that we – meaning the entire Brazil team – are only $550 short of our goal.
For me – that is a huge praise God. The tickets this year were 30% more expensive than last year. The fees for visas went up. The cost of lodging went up. The exchange rate went down. So each student had to raise about $300 more dollars than we first calculated. For 6 people – that’s another $1800 we had to raise.
Why go if it costs this much? It’s a valid question. International mission trips have never been cheap but the return on the investment is so worth it.
First, Thomas and his organization don’t get access to the public schools in the city if the “Americans” don’t come. That’s a huge ministry door opened to them all year long.
Second, the changed lives of the teens we bring. A student on a mission trip gets ruined for Jesus – that’s 50 plus years of service to the King for the price of one mission trip.
Third, the changed lives of the people we touch. For the missionaries and church workers in the region, we are a huge dose of encouragement for them. Mission work in hard to reach areas is a lonely calling. A week with other believers to worship and laugh with gives them fuel to keep driving on.
So to be just $550 short just a few days before we leave – that’s pretty incredible. Another “Yea, God!” moment.
And it’s also an opportunity for those of you out there to help. Anyone out there wanna give a little to help cover that?
Shoot me an email at office AT whillschurch.org OR leave a comment.
Why I Still Stress Myself Out By Going On Missions Trips
“You’re the lead pastor now…doesn’t that give you a ‘Get Out Of Going On Mission Trips’ Free Card or something like that?”
Ahhhh, the spiritual gift of cynicism. My buddy and I for years had observed that there were very few Senior/Lead Pastors that went on mission trips. I confessed to him that I now understand why. It’s work.
As a youth pastor, I could focus on the trip for months in advance. Details and plans, training the team, coaching the volunteers. Working out with our host ministry the exact details of the trip. Making sure I had my talks just perfect for the cross-cultural experience.
As a lead pastor – I don’t have that luxury of single focus. Or I’m not skilled enough at my job to do that. Point is that teaching, counseling, leading, coaching, and everything else that goes into this job is pretty demanding. I don’t even write as much as I used to. So Monday was a brutally hard day as the reality that my flight to Brazil left in less than 6 days hit me square in the face. I’ve got a growing list of things that need to be done and there is a part of me that just wants to walk on the plane with nothing but the clothes on my back because there it’s fairly overwhelming.
So why still do this?
1. The call to make disciples of all nations was an order, not a suggestion. I’m supposed to be a part of that.
2. While I understand that I can be a part of that by supporting financially other people who do this, I’m the lead pastor of a church that believes in GOING and DOING missions in all kinds of cultures. I MUST BE and DO what I expect others to BE and DO.
3. I love it. Yes, it’s work. Yes, I’m fairly stressed right now but it will pass…the minute I smell Brazil and eat a Pao de Queijo.
4. I need the reminder that God is bigger than Topeka, Kansas, United States.
5. It changes me every year…and I need that. It’s amazing how clear God speaks in a foreign language.
6. I can be a learner, follower. I’m not in charge on these trips. I follow. Want to feel completely out of control and totally reliant upon God with no safety net? Go on an international mission trip where your entire plan of the trip (that took a year to make) can be altered radically within 15 minutes of landing inside the country. It’s completely freeing and terrifying.
I could list about another 14 more reasons but the truth of the matter is this – all that I need to get done by Sunday morning will get done. The stuff that I don’t NEED to get done, won’t. And that will be okay. God will still be God and He will still change everything the minute we land. And that will be okay as well.
To NOT go would be worse. If I have to pick where I think my time is best spent in coaching and mentoring – it’s on a mission trip. It’s not even close to anything else. I’ve seen more life change in a shorter amount of time on mission trips – more so than summer camps, more so than retreats.
So…that’s part of the reason why. I don’t really have time to explain all of the reasons.
I Can Do Evil All By Myself
As a Council, we’ve been reading James (and Andy Stanley’s Next Generation Leader) together. This morning, a few us dug a bit deeper into James 1:12-18.
James 1:12-18
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
Some random and not-so-random thoughts of the morning…
Testing vs. tempting. God tests us. He “thumps” us like a potter thumps a new pot to make sure it’s solid. If that pot “sings”, it’s ready. If it “thuds”, it’s not ready and back in the oven. (Analogy is courtesy of Max Lucado.) God will periodically thump us to see if we sing.
Temptation’s goal is sin which is death. This is why God can not tempt us. He will never lead us to death. But James clearly believes that it’s our OWN evil desires that leads us temptation.
In other words – the devil did NOT make me do it. I can do evil all by myself, thank you very much. I think Job is a book of great comfort, great misunderstanding, and great distress. As bad as life gets – there is always Job reminding us that it could be worse. But I think it is a mistake that God and the Satan have that kind of interaction all the time. It’s not the norm for God to “play a game” with Satan using humanity as the pawns. While I think Job can be of comfort to us, I neither think that its situation is the norm nor do I think that all of my hardships and temptations are from the devil.
Most (all?) temptations are born right inside myself. Thank you, sin nature. My sin is my problem and I am responsible for that sin and will one day be held responsible for that sin. To think otherwise is just foolish. Since I don’t know when that day is – I’ve chosen to take Jesus up on his offer. I follow him, he takes the responsibility for my sin.
Life is such that it will work out what is worked into our beings. Situations, contexts, relationships — the stuff of life WILL reveal what is in our hearts. Therefore, I must be careful what I put in my heart and what I work into my life. What is worked in will be worked out.
Don’t be fooled – I think James is more talking about the gestation period of sin than verses 17 and following. All desire that gives birth to sin will always lead to death. Always.
He chose to give us birth through the word of truth… – the Gospel, those who have been “born again” by the good story of Jesus Christ. Christ-followers are the “firstfruits”, the most prized possession of creation in God’s sight.
Another good morning around God’s word…
The New Rage In Churches? Firing Youth Pastors?
I read a lot of blogs – a lot of youth pastor and pastor blogs. And I’m noticing something going around right now that is a bit disturbing. There seems to be a rash of youth pastors getting fired – and not for immoral reasons. For the “better for the future of the church and the individual” reasons. Doug Fields has even written about it this past week.
I’m a lead pastor now but was a youth pastor for 18 years. I cringe when I look back on my first 7 years. That’s right – 7 years. I made a lot of mistakes as well as avoided a lot of mistakes but one thing I always had were bosses who were more concerned about development than just results.
Don’t get me wrong, my bosses wanted to see the group grow but they were equally concerned about what the students were turning into, into what I was changing into. All of my bosses all at one time or another probably FELT like firing me about something. Overflowing the baptism, putting students in charge of life groups, going over budget, losing a deposit at a camp for damages, wrecking a rental car on a mission trip? Would any of those gotten most other youth pastors fired? Apparently so.
But what about challenging the congregation with the idea to empower students to lead, not just listen? What about handing the keys to high school and middle school life groups over to students? What about partnering with other churches? Or being a place where Hispanics, Blacks, and Whites could worship?
Our staff is walking through Andy Stanley’s Next Generation Leader. Andy tells the story of a guy that makes a 10 million dollar mistake at IBM. When Tom Watson, Sr. learned of this he called the guy into his office. He immediately tendered his resignation. Watson’s reply was classic. “You can’t be serious. We just spent 10 million dollars educating you.”
I understand that some mistakes in the church will cost a person their job. But those mistakes can be listed on one hand. Most mistakes are redeemable. And if a church is ever going to develop disciples into leaders, they might want to learn how to redemptively learn from them instead of just asking for the keys to the building. Developing people is messy and risky…but that just may be the core of the problem.
I’m not sure how many churches hire with the mindset of development. I’m guessing that most focus on results. I don’t have a problem with expecting some results out of the staff, I just hope there is just as much emphasis on developing them.
So that’s been my advice for the few people that I’ve talked too that are recovering from firing…or looking for a new place of ministry. Find a place that will develop you as much as demand from you.
Serving Joplin and Reading
One of our mantras at Western Hills is “Serve All.” No matter what color, creed, or background…we exist to be the hands and feet of Jesus. As the reports of devastation keep filtering in from communities like Joplin and Reading, I started immediately getting texts and emails – “How can we serve all with this?” Here are some ways that we’ve already helped and will continue to help.
One of the benefits of being a partnering church with the Kansas-Nebraska Convention of Southern Baptists is their Disaster Relief Team. Immediately, the Disaster Relief team went to Reading and within 24 hours, they had set up a base and was partnering with the Red Cross serving meals and distributing water. That’s astonishing when you consider that the first 24 hours after a disaster are often the most confusing and chaotic. They have continued to partner with the Red Cross on clean-up and recovery.
As I type this, Western Hills is sending KNCSB Disaster Relief team $1000 to continue the work. We’ve also already promised our helped when they call for volunteers. Right now, they are telling us to stay out of Reading. What they have plenty of is manpower. What they are lacking are funds to pay for the food, water, and supplies they are rapidly using to help the families in the community.
You can contribute financially directly to the KNCSB Disaster Relief Fund. Details are given on their website. OR bring your donation to church with you as we will be collecting money for them during the next 2 weeks of services. (You’ll see the strategically placed 5 gallon buckets through out the building.)
Another option is through the work of one of my good friends, Matt Godwin. He is the pastor of Oakland Nazarene Church. He is challenging the community to make crisis care kits for tornado victims. Our church is one of the drop off points for these kits. Let me clear: PLEASE follow the specific directions on the crisis care kit and ONLY what is on the crisis care kit. Nothing else will be accepted or used.
Matt is also leading a team to help in Joplin on Thursday morning. You can get more details here on Matt’s blog. Matt has worked with area agencies to get access to bring a team and the folks over at OakNaz are awesome.
Serve all means serve now. And I’m thankful we have partnerships and relationships whose only goal is to be the presence of Christ in times of need.
McCarter 5th Grade Graduation speech
Here’s the text of what I said last night at McCarter Graduation. It was a great night and a lot of fun. I am thankful to the principal and staff for giving me this opportunity.
I realize that I am the biggest obstacle between you and cake & ice cream at this moment.
My name is Grant English and I’m the pastor of Western Hills Baptist Church as well as a Topeka Fire Department Chaplain. But that really isn’t what you need to know about me for tonight. What you need to know is this — I LOVE to travel. LOVE it. And this past February I got to go to Budapest, Hungary. My wife (Amy) went with me and we got to try a lot of new things, enjoy a lot of new experiences.
And I thought I’d show you all 237 pictures I took on the trip. Is that okay? Okay, how about just a couple?
Now what does international traveling have to do with a 5th grader graduating to the 6th grade? Quite a lot, really. Going to middle school is a lot like traveling in a foreign country. It’s a new culture, with new customs and traditions that you don’t know about yet or understand . They dress a little different, smell a little different. There is a new language. And even the food is different. Everything is just a little, sometimes a lot different.
And tonight I just want to give you a couple of pieces of advice that have helped me in traveling to foreign countries and I think will help you travel to your foreign country called Middle School.
This is my beautiful bride Amy and we are standing on the Citadel where the German army had their fort in WWII. That is the beautiful Danube River with Parliament there in the background and the famous Chain Bridge — it’s just a beautiful city.
And the blue pole. You see that blue pole? What in the world is a blue pole doing there? Can you believe that I’m on this great trip, this once in a lifetime trip and this blue pole happens in my picture? I mean, it totally ruins it doesn’t it? Why didn’t I crop that out of the picture? I mean — who wants a blue pole in their vacation pictures? Guess who took this picture and put the blue pole in my picture? My brother-in-law.
And this picture was taken just outside of Budapest, the first castle ever for the country of Hungary, in a little town called Visegrad. Built in 1100 AD and I had to take a picture of the catapult.
BUT…do you see that black thing in the bottom left corner of the picture? Guess whose shoulder that is? That’s right, my brother-in-law. Can you believe that I’m on this great trip, once in a lifetime trip and he walks into my picture? I mean, it totally ruins it doesn’t it? I mean — who wants their brother-in-law’s shoulder in their vacation pictures?
This is the same castle and we are on top of the wall. And normally you could see the Danube River and the mountain range across the river but…not today. Why? Because it was cloudy, foggy, and rainy.
Guess who took us this castle on a foggy, rainy, cloudy day? That’s right – my brother-in-law. I mean, what was he thinking? In fact, the fog ruins the picture here. I mean, can you believe that I’m on this great trip, this once in a lifetime trip and this fog rolls in, this stupid picture of fog? I mean, it totally ruins it, doesn’t it? I mean, who wants fog in their vacation pictures?
Think I’m being a bit harsh? Did my brother-in-law really ruin these pictures? No. Here’s the point — when you hit 6th grade — it’s this great trip, it’s a once in a lifetime trip. And you will have some blue poles, some peoples shoulders, and some bad weather on your trip. Stuff will happen that you don’t want to happen, there will be some obstacles that you have to overcome, to deal with — but it doesn’t have to ruin the whole trip. It doesn’t have to ruin the whole picture.
You have the power to CHOOSE to enjoy ALL of the view. ALL of the view – the good, the bad, the ugly — it can ALL be learned from and make you a better person. Enjoy ALL of the View. Choose to enjoy it — that’s a choice we make. To either enjoy it or complain about it. Choose to enjoy. It will make it a better journey.
Let me show you a couple more pictures.
The best thing about traveling is tasting the new food. By the way, you know who this guy is in the picture with me? That’s right – my brother-in-law. And he introduced me to the 2nd most awesomest food in Budapest. (That’s not a word? Most awesome is correct?) This is called langosh. It’s a piece of fried bread covered with cream cheese or goat cheese with sausage or bacon on top of that then grated cheese on top of that.
Here is another pic. They make piping hot right there in front of you and it’s like pizza on steroids. Just incredible. But what you really want to know is this – what is the 1st most awesome food in Hungary.
This is the 1st most awesome piece of food in Hungary. It’s called Kurtischolatch. It’s fresh baked bread, toasted then dipped in whatever you like….chocolate, coconut, almonds but the best is cinnamon.
Here’s a close-up of the finished product. They have these little food trucks that make them and they sit in the little town squares on sell them. I bought bags of them. But the best way to eat these thins is with Hungarian coffee. And here is an example of coffee.
Here’s Amy and I in this cafe with this ridiculous coffee. That’s whip cream with hot chocolate with coffee with caramel with creme. That’s what I’m talking about.
And by now you’re probably asking — what does this have to do with going to middle school? And the answer is absolutely nothing. I just wanted to share my pictures with you.
Actually the Hungarian dinner experience can teach us a lot about succeeding in middle school. Dinner is a long event. About a 2 to 3 hour experience. When you sit down in a restaurant, you are their guest and that table is yours for the night. There is no hurry to get you in and out of the establishment. Your waiter is more than just a waiter — he is responsible to make sure that you have the best dinner experience possible.
So we sit down in this restaurant and our waiter asks us for our order and a few tables over, I see this incredible piece of meat, it just smells incredible. I start to speak to the waiter through our translator – what is that? He tells me it’s a roasted pork that just falls off the bone. I say – I would like that.
And the waiter smiles and nods and writes down my order on his little black tablet.
And he says — what soup would you like? Well…I was thinking about a salad but soup sounds pretty good. And he tells me the soup selections and eventually I pick out a soup.
And the waiter smiles and nods and writes down my order on his little black tablet.
Now I have to choose a side for my dish. I listen to all the different sides and there were really only two that stuck out to me.
One was a pickled cucumber slaw with cabbage and vinegar. It stood out to me because there was no way I was ordering that. Ever. I like to try new things but there are some things that you just know that you are going to hate or make you sick. So you do the best you can to avoid it. The other was this thing that loosely translated potato medallions. So I order the potato medallions.
And the waiter does NOT smile. He does not nod his head. He does not write down my order in his little black tablet. He just stands there looking back and forth from the translator to me. He’s very subtly shaking his head — no.
He says something to the translator. The translator says something back. They go on for a few seconds until finally I say — what is going on? The waiter says that the potato medallions are NOT the ideal choice for this dish. I say — okay — what is? I’m all about new experiences.
Guess which one he says? That’s right – the pickled cucumber slaw with cabbage and vinegar.
I smile — just being as polite as I can be — I’d really like the potato medallions. And the waiter doesn’t move, just stands there. Just rocking back and forth, visibly disturbed that I am going to miss out on the ideal meal with the ideal sides just because I want potato medallions.
The waiter starts talking really fast and the translator is trying to keep up with what the waiter says — You should try the pickled cucumber slaw with cabbage and vinegar, you will love this. It’s very good. Especially if you like cucumbers or cabbage or pickles or vinegar or slaw. It goes perfectly with this dish in its taste and color, it balances the meal.
I smile ever bigger — I appreciate that. I’m sure it does. But I don’t like pickles or cucumbers or slaw or cabbage or vinegar. I love potatoes.
And the translator doesn’t translate for me. Instead she says to me –
“Grant. He’s going to bring the pickled cucumber slaw with cabbage and vinegar whether you order it or not. He is committed to bringing you the best sides and soups and drinks that goes with your entree. He wants you to have the best Hungarian meal that you’ve ever had. He will stop at nothing short of that. He wants you to choose it because it’s more gracious that way but he is going to bring it because he wants you to have the best.”
She continued…”So Grant, the only real choice in front of you is to either be an arrogant, angry American OR be a gracious, thankful learner of culture. Which one do you want to be?”
Do you see how this relates going to the foreign land of middle school? As you go off to middle school – you are going to have these waiters called teachers and they are committed to bringing to you the best they can to make you smarter, deeper, better people. Committed to bringing out the best in you. And they will do that – no matter what you order off the menu. No matter what class you take, what sport or activity, you will have a guide, coach or teacher who wants to bring out the best in you. And you will not always like what they bring to the table. But that’s not important. What’s important is how you handle that situation. And how you handle that situation will determine whether or not you will be successful.
The key decision in front of you is this — will you be an arrogant, angry kid OR a gracious, thankful learner?
The arrogant, angry kid never learns. Never changes. Never really tries new things or grows as a person. The arrogant, angry kid only thinks of himself and will never become great. The gracious, thankful learner is someone who listens and tries new things. Who is eager to learn and because of that will grow as a person and be gracious to others.
This little decision makes all the difference in the world no matter how old you get, no matter how many foreign lands you visit.
Would you like to hear how the story ends?
I choose to be the gracious, thankful learner. I mean, I didn’t want to ruin every one else’s night by arguing with the waiter. Besides that — I might even like this pickled cucumber slaw thing. So I smiled real big and I ordered the pickled cucumber slaw with cabbage and vinegar.
And the waiter transformed before my eyes and he smile and laughed and nodded and write down those magic words in his little black tablet, he patted me on my back and he scurried off to the kitchen. And then in a short time later, he comes out with these trays of food and I get my soup and …. oh my gosh — it’s outstanding. It’s the best soup I have ever tasted.
Then comes the main course with the fall off the bone pork and it smelled incredible and it was on a bed of something — not even sure what it was but it was awesome. Just perfect. Then he slid next to me a bowl of pickled cucumbers and slaw, cabbage and vinegar. And he stood next to me. And looked at me. And he was waiting for me to try it.
So I did. And you know what?
It was awful. It tasted every bit as bad as I imagined it would. I mean, it took everything inside me not to just spit that stuff across the table onto the person sitting across from me. It was terrible.
So what’s the point?
Because I tried it. And I didn’t argue with the guy. And we laughed about it all. He ended up bringing out a plate of those potato medallions. And it was one of the greatest meals I’ve ever had.
The point is this — CHOOSE to enjoy all the view. The good and the bad. Sometimes you get great food, sometimes not so great but our attitude should never change. CHOOSE to be a gracious, thankful learner.
As you leave the familiar confines of McCarter and head off into middle school, you’re going to have great experiences, some good experiences with blue poles and shoulders in the pictures and you will even have some cucumber slaw, wretched awful experiences.
What will make the difference is your attitude in the middle of those experiences.
Choose to enjoy ALL of the view. Choose to be a gracious, thankful learner and the success that you’ve had at McCarter will follow you where ever you go.
Thank you and Congratulations on your graduation.