Erwin McManus Was Right
I think it was Erwin who said that when you introduce yourself as a pastor, it’s like introducing yourself as a cannibal. No one wants to be around you anymore. They act differently. Every action you take is intensely scrutinized. And no one wants to come over for dinner.
It may sound extreme but there is an element of truth to it. I noticed it this week with my new neighbors. Conversation would be going great and inevitably the conversation would turn to occupation.
“I’m the new pastor at Western Hills.”
Crickets rejoice.
My next door neighbor heard this and said – “I just retired as a part-time pastor at an Episcopal church. So where do you stand on election?” I’m not kidding. Amy was standing right there. Like that’s the first topic I want to talk about with my new neighbor over our lawnmowers.
I did find out some valuable information about our neighborhood before it leaked out that I was a pastor.
They shoot fireworks in our cul-de-sac every year for fourth of July. This is awesome. I’ve waited 3 long years to shoot my own fireworks. We didn’t shoot them in Parker because of the fire bans and stuff. I mean, we shot the little stuff but not the mortars. And mortars are awesome.
They have block parties in the summer. Awesome again. I get to show off my mad grill skillz.
They don’t put up backyard fences because of the football games. There are a bunch of middle school kids that play football in the backyards. Without fences, the space looks like a huge park. Again…this is awesome.
The pastor of another church lives at the end of the street. I know of this guy and he’s got a great reputation around town. He has a trampoline in the back and he let’s his boys play with Airsoft guns. This all bodes very, very well. There is one downside so far though…I’ve seen him mow his lawn on his riding mower with kakhi’s on. Party foul. I couldn’t get close enough to see if he was wearing dress socks. I’ll have to do some further investigating. As soon as I can, I’ll warn him about mowing in dress clothes.
But what other options could I use instead of pastor when asked about my occupation?
I’m a shepherd. (courtesy of Fletch.)
New parole officer.
I’m into sin management.
District mattress police manager.
Central Kansas iPhone evangelist.
11 Responses to “Erwin McManus Was Right”
Here’s a couple of option:
1) You’re into trading futures
2) You’re a motivational speaker
3) You’re in the people business
4) You’re the new train wreck prevention officer (you’ve seen enough train wrecks with people’s lives – you could do this one)
Pastor you are nuts!
How about a bait and switch?
You could say you’re a televagalist or work for a televangalist. Pause…
Nah, I’m kidding, I’m just a local pastor.
Long lost Blues Brother (on a mission from God)…
So, how did you answer the episcopalian pastor?
Think they’ll invite you to the “block party” or just schedule it when they hear you’re going out of town? =0)
afterlife travel agent?
Remind me to tell you about my time at Mosaic in LA.
haha I remember that. I couldn’t believe that was the first thing he asked. Very funny
How’d I answer the neighbor? I ‘misunderstood’ the question. Instead I answered another question that he didn’t ask. It’s a good tool to have in the kit but you’ve got to be quick to use it.
For example….
“Electionary? We use a mixture of the traditional church calendar, topical sermons, and preaching through books. Right now we’re learning about spiritual disciplines but we’ve done Advent, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday.”
I could have said – “I like elections except for the long lines” as well.
Great thought – I also hate having to tell people I’m a pastor. While at WHBC it was OK – I could say I was a musician, and at least get to the next point in the conversation before running scared! But now I’m a Missions Pastor and I’m lost. Either way I’m dead – missionary or pastor. I guess I could say I work in travel, or I’m a travel agent? It is tough. Maybe I’ll just say I’m a professional model……