Our Metrosexual Worship Pastor
Rowland who blogs about once an eclipse, immediately came to my mind after reading this post by one of new reads – Stuff Christians Like.
Here’s the bulk of his post. I’ll keep a running tally of Rowland’s score.
1. Has a faux hawk hair style = +1
Rowland doesn’t, but Toby does.
2. Has more product in his hair than your wife = +1
Yes. Rowland = 1
3. Has Rob Bell, black rimmed glasses = +1
Nope.
4. They are not prescription, but just for effect = +2
5. Attends the Catalyst Conference = +3
Yes. Rowland = 4
6. Performs at the Catalyst Conference = +10
Not yet but this is just a matter of time. A man that plays with the Newsboys is destined for this.
7. Owns Puma, Vans or Diesel sneakers = +2 per each pair
Yes. But I’m not sure how many. We’ll be conservative here and just say one.
Rowland = 6
8. Wears jeans on stage = +1
Rowland = 7
9. Wears designer jeans on stage = +2
Rowland = 8
10. Wears Wrangler or Rustler jeans on stage = -3
He wouldn’t be caught dead in them.
11. Has a goatee = +2
Used to. Comes and goes. We’ll just add one point.
Rowland = 9
12. Wears one of those Castro revolution looking hats = +2
I can honestly say I’ve only seen Rowland in two hats – A Colorado Rockies hat and some funky hat he fly fishes in. He’s not really a hat guy.
13. Drinks coffee on stage = +1
Not coffee, but water.
14. Drinks some kind of coffee you did not know existed = +2
Yes. And he home grinds and brews it.
Rowland = 11
15. Brings a French Press on stage and makes his own coffee during service = +5
16. Has a handlebar mustache = -3
17. Good at Frisbee but hates getting all “sweaty” = +1
This is especially true of Rowland – he hates getting sweaty.
Rowland = 12
18. Has a haircut that covers one of his eyes while singing = +1
No, but he’s got hair like Rod Stewart…so I’m giving him this point.
Rowland = 13
19. Owns a white belt = +2
Not sure about this.
20. Owns suspenders = -3
21. Wears a scarf with a t-shirt = +1
22. Wears a winter knit hat even in the summer = +2
23. You think he covered a My Chemical Romance song last week = +3
Yes. And John Mayer and Coldplay.
Rowland = 16
24. Drives an Audi or VW, silver of course = +2
Does drive a dark silver Land Rover…so he’s getting one point.
Rowland = 17
25. Uses the words, “postmodern, relevant” or “emergent” nonstop = +2
Rowland = 19
26. Cringes a little when people say the “H word.” (Hymnal) = +3
Rowland = 22
27. Has ever said some form of the phrase, “That song is so 1990s” = +1
28. Owns a Grizzly Adams red and black flannel shirt = -2
29. Named his kid after a color or a number = +2
No but named his kid after an animal. So he’s getting the two points here.
Rowland = 24
30. References Norwegian punk bands you’ve never heard of = +2
Holding at 24
31. Wears a tie = -1
Only seen him in a tie once.
32. Wears a tie as a belt = +2
He hasn’t…yet.
33. Looks as if he might exfoliate = +2
Absolutely.
Rowland = 26
34. Has a man bag or European Carry All = +2
No.
35. Brings said bag on stage with him = +2
Holding at 26.
36. Has a tattoo = +2
Here comes some points. He’s got two.
Rowland = 30
37. Has a visible tattoo = +4
Rowland = 34
38. Wife accompanies him on stage and plays tambourine = -4
This would be so funny to see.
39. Was formerly in a punk new wave band = +2
40. Knows the names of all the people on the scripted MTV show, “the Hills” = +3
41. Refuses to drink anything but Vitamin Water = +2
True.
Rowland = 36.
42. Your wife ever says, “he needs a barrette for his hair.” = +2
43. Has a nickname with “the” in it, as in “the edge,” = +2
The Worship Dude…
Rowland = 38
44. Owns every Nooma video = +2
40.
45. Has a soul patch = +3
46. Won’t play barefoot on stage until he gets a pedicure = +2
He has had a pedicure.
Rowland = 42.
47. Refers to California as “the left coast” = +2
Yep.
Rowland = 44
48. Currently subscribes to Dwell or Details magazine = +2
Not sure if I want to know this one.
49. Owns a pair of lady jeans = +2
50. Twitters you from his iPhone = +2
He has an iPhone and emails from it constantly. No Twitter.
Rowland = 45
51. His toddler dresses cooler than you = +2
Rowland = 47
52. He wears graphic t-shirts over button down, long sleeve shirts = +2
Again – wears graphic t’s but never a button down. Half credit.
Rowland = 48
53. Ever says “we got a hot mic here” = -4
54. Shops at the Gap = 0
55. Shops at Urban Outfitters = +2
Rowland = 50.
So…Rowland scores a 50 which I think definitely puts him in the Metro category. What do you think?
25 Responses to “Our Metrosexual Worship Pastor”
i saw this post and thought of rowland too. i wouldnt be surprised if rowland knew the names of the girls from the hills though..
1.I don’t exfoliate…I have great skin!
2.I’ve never had a pedicure
3.Yes, my toddler dresses cooler than you!
4.The girls names are: Lauren, Audrina, Whitney and Heidi.
Owning a Harley should take off an equivalent amount of points to, say, the wranglers… A real metro would ride a Vespa.
Funny there was no mention of brightly colored vehicles (like, oh, I don’t know, yellow?)
Haha. I scored our worship leader yesterday (love Stuff Christians Like.)
He only scored a 21 although it could go higher if I knew more details (such as wearing designer jeans, I don’t really pay attention to other men’s jeans. not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I counted the “punk band” one even though its really a hardcore metal band.
Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xO7fVrXJa4I
He is the lead “singer,” his brother is the bass player and plays at church when he’s not at college. The drummer played at church this past Sunday, I was on electric.
Its really odd to see them on Sunday morning singing David Crowder, Matt Reddmon, etc. on Sunday morning and then see them in their band.
I personally think having a FRIEND with a brightly colored vehicle…say, yellow…should take off points!
Rowland did give me a tambourine once, but I couldn’t sing and play tambourine – or shaker egg for that matter! (And why would that be so funny anyway?)
Row – saying you have great skin and don’t need an exfoiliation confirms that those points stay.
Daughters names: Jia and Kitty. Points stay.
Gave your wife a tambourine but she’s yet to play it???
Row doesn’t own a Harley…he has a Victory…and it’s purple. If he’s a wise man, he’ll leave the yellow Xterra alone.
What will get points taken off is the home-brew kit Row bought yesterday. So we’ll take off 2 plus one for every free beer I get out of the deal.
It’s still a high score and I’m figuring I’ll get about 48 free beers out of this.
I scored my worship pastor over on my blog. I suspected that he would be even more metro than Row. I was disappointed when I only hung 25 points on him.
Oh and Rowland… be careful man. Grant is pretty touchy about his Yellow
chick carXterrahttp://www.hulu.com/watch/18812/the-office-did-i-stutter#s-p1-so-i0
This is an episode of “the office”. Go to 6:30 and they have some insight about Xterras.
Actually, I think having relationships with folks with yellow chick/metrosexual xterras adds points.
You should be comfortable in your metrosexuality, Rowland. Maybe you can start metrosexual pride day. Grant could lead the parade in his yellow xterra. Oh, but to really cap it off, you need to ditch the Victory and go for something like a Honda scooter — nothing over 200cc, though.
how did we back on grant’s metrosexualness again?
rowl, you’re a kick-ass worship dude…..i care what they said!
Wayne,
Grant left the opening…you had to take it! Nice job.
there is nothing metrosexual about a scooter.
Do you have a scooter now clay?
Wayne – why do you sign your comments with your web page and it isn’t even working anymore????? ha ha.
And – the scooter is the most awesome thing ever. Vespa is the way to go.
yes i do, its pretty awesome.
G — because it’s in my cookies I guess — I don’t fill out the form everytime I come to your page — it’s auto-populated and I am saving keystrokes by not deleting it.
And, I’m sorry, but Vespas and scooters in general are most definitely metrosexual.
thats only because you dont have one. but they are a lot manlier than picking up random people just to drive in the carpool lane.
I’m still wondering if we (Row and I) need counseling or if it’s okay for him to be metrosexual.
Kitty- its okay. They’re passing a bill in the senate now that says every establishment has to accommodate people of any orientation… including the metrosexual among us.
Also, regarding the scooter debate, it depends on the euro-ness of it. A vespa: pretty much a shoo-in for a metrosexual vehicle. My Honda Aero-50 in college that I covered with cheesy racing stickers? Clearly a man’s ride.
Maybe if the Vespa had some kind of flame decal or some cowballs…
They may need counseling – but here is the updated scorecard from Stuff Christians Like:
0 – 10 points = Hymnal Hero
11 – 20 points = Tomlin Curious
Basically – you’ve got your toe dipped in the waters of metroness.
21 – 40 points = Goatee Guy
Right now, you’re wearing Pumas and drinking a coffee that has fourteen words in its name.
41 – 60 points = Girl Jeans Gambler
You’re not ready to do the Chris Daughtry eyeliner thing, he’s a bit more rock than metro anyway, but when you shop for clothes you get a little tempted. You’ve never sung a hymn and think Chris Tomlin is “too traditional.”
61+ points = The Carlos
My friend Carlos of Ragamuffinsoul.com, who works at North Point, is perhaps the most metro worship guy I have ever met. He’s also one of the coolest too, but that’s beside the point.
So there you go…
[...] unknown wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt61+ points = The Carlos My friend Carlos of Ragamuffinsoul.com, who works at North Point, is perhaps the most metro worship guy I have ever met. He’s also one of the coolest too, but that’s beside the point. So there you go… [...]
also, darren mcfadden has a scooter. therefore, scooters are manly.
How many points do you lose for eing from Arkansas?
[...] discussion this past week with a buddy about worship leaders and worship pastors. After we made the requisite metro jokes – we got serious for a moment. Here were some of [...]