Archive for February, 2007
Talker of the Month – February 2007
And the winner is….
Clay!!!
Great job and some link love your way. Clay is a freshman at the University of Arkansas and former Life Group Leader, world traveler, flip-flop wearing, karaoke singing stud. (Who’s going to have knee surgery next week…pray for him.)
MikeS and KrisK rounded out the top 3. One day KrisK is going to win one of this completely worthless award.
Detour Cancelled – Feb 28th
I absolutely hate canceling youth.
I hate it.
It smells of defeat.
But when they start closing major highways due to ice and RTD is parking buses in backyards – it’s time to call it what it is.
So no youth tonight. I’ll go home and watch Mythbusters.
Parker Area Youth Ministers Meeting
We’ve got to come up with a much shorter title but it’s descriptive. This is a fairly new “community” of youth leaders and I’m hosting the next one at Pinecrest.
The normal format at these meetings are the host feeds you, the host gives you the tour of their facilities, the host tells you how they do ministry there. Useful information to be sure but I want more than that.
So I’m not doing any of that. Instead, I emailed the “leader” and said – I want to talk about these questions next week. Two of them I stole from Marko’s blog. (Is it stealing if you give credit???)
Here they are – feel free to throw your own answers in the mix or post on your own site – just give me a trackback or link here for it.
1.What are two common mistakes most pastors make when starting a student ministry that you would make sure not to make?
2.What methods/steps would you use to lay a strong foundation that would last beyond your time there?
3.How do you care for your soul?
4.What is one thing that you need prayer on (personally) that nobody else knows about or is praying for you about?
[tags]Parker, youth ministry, youth pastors[/tags]
Wayne’s Idea of Fun
So my good friend and partner in sarcasm – Wayne Galli – is coming into town next weekend.
I love this guy – even though he works way to hard and blogs not nearly enough. He and his wife Amy were awesome volunteers at Grace in Little Rock.
WARNING: RABBIT TRAIL ALERT
We had a discussion forum on our youth site and this cat “Boilermaker” kept making comments and asking questions and generally causing a ruckus. It was Wayne and we decided to grab some lunch to size each other up. We came to the lunch with one agenda and left with another. Wayne (and you can either verify or deny this!) came wanting to check out my theology and see if the rumors about me were true. I came figuring that I was going to spend the hour defending the way we did youth ministry.
By the time lunch was over, I had a new friend and just knew he’d be awesome in student ministry. I asked him to think about joining our youth team and within the month I had scored a major win – had both him and his wife on the team.
Lots of things could be said about Wayne – not all of them public – but one thing is for certain. Wayne is quick with the humor and 9 times out of 10 it’s a bust out loud funny. (Of course there was always that one time in 10 but hey – nobody is perfect.)
I say ALL of that to set this up. He’s coming in town next weekend and we have a day to hang and do pretty much anything we want to. I give you the following email exchange:
Grant: Couple of questions for you for Friday – what do you want to do? We got Coors, a couple of wineries, we’ve got museum of nature and science – you got anything that you just want to do? Oh yeah – Fat Tire is about a two-hour drive away, the Springs – whatever…
Wayne: Man, I’m both easy and cheap. I don’t want to infringe on your daily activities – oh wait, what am I saying – have you been to fat tire? Two hours is a hike though.
Oh wait, I know….let’s go to Focus on the family and tag all the cars in the staff parking lot with the “Focus on your own D*mn family†bumper stickers!!!!!!!
Grant: Can I blog this?????
Wayne: Go for it.
Amy: NOT!!!
Since I wasn’t really sure what to do with it – I’ll leave it up for our voters at home. 
So What’s The Problem?
The following account is true. The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
The phone rang, Amy grabbed it and after some confusion – she hands the phone to me.
“It’s for you. Sounds bad.”
“This is Grant.”
“Dude, have you gotten any of my emails?”
I immediately recognized the voice. It was Ed.
“No man, I haven’t. It’s Sunday afternoon and I -”
“What about your cell phone?”
“I’m sure it’s around here somewhere – what is wrong?”
“I’ve got some major travel issues. I’m stuck here until Wednesday.”
“Here” wasn’t just any “here.” “Here” was a warm weather paradise around the equator.
“Did you hear me? Somehow I messed up our flights and didn’t realize it until we got to the airport and to change the tickets is going to be – ”
“Let me get this straight. You are in a tropical paradise…with your wife….with no kids….no meetings or responsiblities…away from the cold and snow of Denver…for the next three days? So what exactly is the problem? Can’t figure out what to do with all the time?”
Ed said something to the effect of being responsible and work and something else that I didn’t hear because I was still trying to figure out what exactly the problem was. Since there was silence, I figured it was my turn to speak.
“So why are you calling me and why do you sound stressed?”
Good thing Ed has me in his life. I kept his name out of this post to protect his identity AND I helped him figure out what cool umbrella drink to order with his seafood. Meanwhile – I’ll go back to shoveling snow.
The English Infirmary
This happened when we moved to Arkansas – everyone spend the year getting sick or getting other people sick. At one point back in 2002 – Cooper was a strep carrier. Lucky us. So he gave his grandparents strep – Big Tom twice – and his siblings and pretty much anyone who spent the night in our house.
Of course, Cooper hates this part of his life – when he was a disease ridden giver of sickness. (He’s sitting next to me right now as I’m writing this.) But it’s just a fact of life – Cooper was awesome at getting people sick.
So we are at it again. Except this time we seem to have a nice rotation going – only one at a time is down or at most two. Of course this weekend it was more physical abuse than being sick.
Cooper banged his head hard in the youth room and his head was bleeding. Didn’t need stitches but he’s got a good mark going.
For some odd reason, my back decided this would be the weekend to remind me that A) I’ve had back surgery in my past and B) I’m not 21 anymore. Shoveling and wrestling with kids and Amy probably didn’t help a whole lot.
So right now, Coop and I are on the couch hanging out…watching the Food Channel and playing on the computer. And even though being in discomfort is not my first choice – it’s giving me a chance to just hang with Coop.
Call it making the most of sick days.
Out Of The Funk
I did our taxes this year. I hate the whole process. I mean, I don’t hate many things – even now I’m struggling to really name things I hate – but this is one of them. The kids have called tax weekend “The Funk Weekend.” For their own safety, they give me a wide berth on that weekend. There is no playing, no laughing, no fun, no joking, no smiling, and no mercy.
Furthermore, I refuse to take responsibility for it. It’s the government’s fault. Can somebody explain to me why we can put a man on the moon but have yet to figure out a simple way of doing taxes?
My tax return was 56 pages long. You read that right – 56 pages. 5 of those pages were Colorado’s return, another 6 of those were Arkansas. The rest – the sleek organization known as the Federal Government.
Actually, I don’t think it’s entirely the fault of the federal government. Ultimately – yes, they are responsible. But mostly it’s the Internal Revenue Service – the unofficial 4th branch of the government. Is there a better example of one organization being lazy and opting opt of its responsibility (The U.S. Government) and hiring somebody else to do it only to have that hired organization become a bigger mess and monster than the original (IRS)?
Jerry Jones hiring Barry Switzer comes to mind but that was mildly entertaining watching that train wreck – this is personal.
To save trees in South America – I e-filed my return. Only to later find out that if you file in Arkansas but don’t live in Arkansas, you can’t e-file your state return. You have to mail it in. And they want a copy of your federal return. Apparently, modems and phone lines to the Revenue Office are only intra-state.
Then they charge you $17 to e-file. Which I’m trying to figure out why. It seems it would be easier and faster to e-file, therefore why charge for it? Ahhhh….I forgot, I’m dealing with the government.
But the taxes are done. And the weekend of funk is over. Now on to blogging and living a productive life. And the minute a candidate runs on not only lowering taxes but simplifying the process – I’ll join his (or her) fan club.
[tags]taxes, IRS[/tags]
Amazing Amazing Grace
Went to see Amazing Grace last night – a break in the middle of my personal hell called “taxes.”
Believe the hype. It’s good – in a sense and sensibility kind of way. It’s British – so know that going in but it’s not just the story that is good – it’s how it was filmed, the acting, the pace, the memorable moments, and did I mention the acting?
It’s been a while since I’ve seen a movie that forces you to engage and doesn’t insult the viewer.
I’m not sure how good it related to the student population – most of the movie goers were older and the students that were with me – well, one of them slept, the other two had a lot of questions afterward.
[tags]Amazing Grace[/tags]
Colorado Driving Laws
One of our elders sent me this email today and I started laughing pretty hard. Had to pass it on.
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: ‘den-ver’ not Denvah.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Denver has its own version of traffic rules… the cars/truck with the loudest muffler goes next at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that. (Note: Blue-haired, green-haired or cranberry-haired ladies driving anything, have right of way, “anytime!!”)
3. To find anything in Denver it is required that you know Colfax and Broadway; the Alpha and Omega — the Beginning and the End.
4. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 to 10:00 a.m. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00 p.m. Friday’s rush hour, starts on Thursday morning.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
6. You must know that ‘I-25′ and the ‘Valley Hwy’ are the same road. Same goes for Hampden Ave and Highway 285.
7. North and south only vaguely resemble the real direction of certain streets such as Speer Blvd.
8. Highway 287 runs north, south, east and west and every direction in between; it can be found in every section of the Denver area to make navigating interesting.
9. Construction is a permanent fixture in Denver. The barrels are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.
10. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as drunks, jay-walkers, pan-handlers, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, pot holes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tires, squirrels, rabbits, prairie dogs and crows or vultures feeding on any of these aforementioned items.
11. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches for your vehicle is recommended for city driving. Lots of ‘stuff’ falls off or falls from something.
12. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been ‘accidentally activated.’
13. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways — I-25, I-76, I-225, US 285/Hampden, Hwys 87 and 36 is 85 mph. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Colorado’s version of NASCAR. The difference is some drivers are armed and irritable!
14. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. (It could be very hazardous to your health!!!)
15. If you are in the left lane and are going only 70 in a 55-65 zone . . . you are considered a road hazard, and will be “flipped off” accordingly.
16. The trend in recent years indicates if it’s 70 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.
17. If it’s snowing, it could well be the week after Memorial Day.
18. Highway 36 to and from Boulder is called the ‘Turnpike.’ No other highway is called the Turnpike. If someone refers to another highway as a Turnpike, tell them to go back to the East.
19. If someone refers to a highway with the article ‘the,’ as in, ‘The 25′ tell them to go back to California.
20. A red light means four more cars can go through. Not three, not five. Four.
21. Lincoln Street is a major route into Downtown and runs north and south. Lincoln Ave. is now a major route on the south end of town, but the two never meet.
22. University and Colorado are two boulevards that run parallel.
Geometry not working in the suburbs, these streets intersect south of C-470.
23. When you see an orange cone, you must stop and then move slowly until there are no more cones. There need not be construction, only cones.
24. By state law, there will be a rollover accident in the median on C-470 between Quebec St. and Santa Fe Drive no less often than once every other business day.
25. Despite the fact that Colorado Boulevard is a straight line from I-70 to I-25, it is not a shortcut, especially at rush hour. Same goes for University, which changes names three times anyway.
26. Merging rules:
a) Under no circumstances should you ever allow anyone, in any way, to get in front of you. No more than one car length must be between you and the one in front of you, as rear-end collisions happen to other people. If traffic is merging into one lane, then you better make dang sure you hug the back bumper of the car in front of you, because you can’t let anyone ‘cut in line.’
b) When merging onto a highway, ignore the acceleration lane entirely and move directly into traffic as quickly as possible, regardless of the fact that your current speed may be as low as 35MPH. This is especially true if you are driving a ‘land yacht’ or some other vehicle that has low acceleration.
c) Certainly you should never speed up to merge, even if you stay in the ‘acceleration lane.’
d) Assume, when your lane ends, that everyone will get out of your way. You don’t even need to signal that you are moving to the next lane over. Just drive to the end of the lane you are in and suddenly move to the next lane, whether there is a car next to you or not is irrelevant. You are driving the only car that counts.
27. NEVER yield at a yield sign. The yield sign is like an appendix, it once had a purpose, but nobody can remember what it was.
28. When the roads are wet for any reason, assume that all traffic laws are void. Stop signs, red lights, etc. are mere decoration if it is snowing.
29. Four wheel drive vehicles can drive as fast as they want no matter what the road conditions are; doubly so if the driver is talking on a cell phone and having lunch at the same time.
30. Highlands Ranch comes with its own rules. Like most suburbs, they have only four actual street names, and then differentiate them with street types like Road, Drive, Court, Trail, Turn, Deadend, Way, Path, Meandering, etc. Unlike most cities, however, there are double solid white lines at some intersections. Crossing the lines will get you a ticket in Highlands Ranch. Speeding, no, but crossing those lines “WILL” get you a ticket.
31. Just because a street on the east side of town has the same name as a street on the west side, does not mean you can drive on that one street to get from Denver east to Denver west. See 6th Ave., Alameda, Orchard, etc. There is only one exception: Colfax.
32. When you see the sign for the exit you need, aim for the right shoulder, as many times additional lanes will spring up fully formed between you and the ramp you want. This is especially true at DIA when you are heading toward the East terminal.
33. When you have finished changing lanes on either I-70 or I-25, hit the brakes.
34. When giving directions, be no more specific than ‘Near the intersection of’. If you are half a mile away from the intersection, that’s fine. Always give directions with reference to the mountains, i.e. ‘turn towards the mountains,’ even when giving directions at night or downtown where you can’t see the mountains.
35. Although it takes just 3 cars to create a traffic jam on I-25 around Thornton Pkwy., state law requires all drivers in the northern suburbs to get onto I-25 on Friday afternoon. This fosters the image of Denver as a bustling city of industry.
36. Don’t ask what that smell is at US 85 and I-270. You do not want to know. If small children ask what the smell is as you go past the dog food factory on I-70, say something vaguely scientific, such as, “It’s just photosynthesis.”
37. Any activity downtown is surrounded by eight other activities downtown; if you find a close parking space, treasure it like gold.
38. You can head west and turn north while taking the exit from southbound US 285 to westbound C-470. You can drive South-eastbound on the North-west Parkway. The sign from Santa Fe southbound to Hampden westbound reads ‘South.’ This is why Denver directions are ‘out,’ ‘up,’ ‘in,’ ‘down’ and sometimes ‘over.’
[tags]Denver driving, Colorado driving[/tags]
3 Youth Groups
Amy said something last night that got me thinking – “If all of our students ever show up on the same night – this is going to be nuts.”
We’ve got around 20 students that show up on Sunday morning. Good start seeing that 3 months ago we had next to nothing.
But then – we have a different set of students show up on Wednesday night. Again – last night was typical – about 16 students. Typical in that – only one or two show up on Sunday.
We then have a 3rd group that shows up every other week because of custody/divorce issues. That’s about another 15 students.
Last I checked – there are no books at YS or Zondervan covering this phenomenon. Which on one hand – is probably good but on another – this can’t be that atypical of churches in unchurched areas…can it?
What’s my plan to bring this mess together? He he. If it was only that simple. I’ve never been a lone ranger/rah rah guy nor have I ever been a “come and see what we’ve got for you” leader. My philosophy has been reproduce leaders and take the church to them – in homes, schools, whatever. Make it about Jesus, make it real, and make it accessible to as many as possible. Normally that means you do most of your ministry off the church campus.
Yet in a start up – I’ve been forced to take a “both/and” approach to at least by me some time to reproduce key leaders. And in an a context where students are scattered to the four winds – the church building HAS become the common place – again, I think this bothers me more than anyone else.
I do have some random thoughts to get us through the interim but nothing definitive. We are going to have to do some experimentation first before we come to any kind of conclusions. But for right now the plan is to keep loving on students, keep training our adults how to disciple students, treat Sundays as a worship encounter (vertical), and treat Wednesdays as a community encounter (horizontal). Then throw in an activity once a month to try to bring the 3 worlds together. This month – going to see Amazing Grace on Friday night.
Harvest is plentiful, workers are few and miles to go before I sleep…miles to go. Good thing I’m not traveling alone.
Military Funeral
I spoke this morning for a man who landed on Omaha Beach on D-Day in World War II. His grandson attends our church. As with many men of that era, he grew up poor, worked hard, went to war, got wounded, had a family, and just plugged away at life without ever talking much about his experience.
I understand some of that. War was hell and I imagine these men spent the larger part of their life trying to forget what they saw. Especially those that landed on Normandy or Iwo Jima. As I talked with the family, I got bits and pieces of some of the stories this man passed on to his family.
But when this man was buried today, what went with him was a piece of priceless history. History that my generation and those behind me would do well to remember. They fought to literally defend the United States – not political spin or uninvited guests. They went because some madman German and Japanese Emperor took action to rule the world. So off they went.
Then they all came home and worked hard to make the US the most prosperous nation on the planet. They truly were the “Greatest Generation.”
Snow Shoveling
So we live on a corner in a “Managed Community”, right? That means a couple of things – first Home Owners Association – HOA for short. It’s where a bunch of anal-retentive, high-strung homeowners get together and make rules that nobody else would think of. Like – if you put up a basketball goal, the backboard must be clear or match the color of your house AND it cannot be attached to the garage.
There are some perks – like we have our own snowplow removal. Which gets us cleared streets before anybody else that we know. We loved our snowplows. I’ll get back to this in a minute.
They also have some other rules that make us responsible for shoveling the snow off the sidewalk that goes down the side of our fence off the main street. The problem is that side of the house faces north. That means it hardly ever gets sun – so the melt has been brutally slow.
BUT – Amy and I were going to make the big push this week to get it done.
That is until this morning.
I’m sipping my hot green tea when the house starts rattling. It’s our community snowplow. Which is incredibly odd given that it hasn’t snowed for a week AND it’s been upper 40′s/lower 50′s the last couple of days. Which coincidently has made the long sidewalk doable. Only a foot or so of snow to get rid of – which made us hopeful to get it shoveled.
Then we peek out our kitchen window to see the plow pushing snow off the corners of the street on top off my sidewalk.
I just looked at Amy.
“I’m so not shoveling that walk now and the minute the HOA complains about it, I’m opening up a can of THIS on them.”
I’ll keep you posted.
Thank you, San Diego Chargers
Chargers hire Norv Turner as head coach.
As a Bronco fan and AFC West rival all I can say is…
Thank you so very much.
Now if only the Chiefs would hire Marty back, all would be right.
[tags]San Diego Chargers, AFC West[/tags]
God Moment, Feb 18th
As I mentioned earlier – I had no voice this weekend. I couldn’t lead worship in youth, I couldn’t sing in “big church,” and I couldn’t holler at my kids to quit playing in the sanctuary and get to the car because it was time to leave.
So in the morning service, I was forced to listen to worship. I say forced because for me – worship really is an active, participatory event. Reading all the words and listening to the congregation sing – normally that just would bore the living daylights out of me.
Camber was next to me – as is her tradition, grab my arm, place it around her neck. For some reason this position makes it possible for her to sing louder than normal. She’s a loud singer. Fortunately – she has pitch and is in key. So it’s actually a pleasant experience. She sings all the time – mostly in tune and songs we know but every now and then she’ll surprise us.
I like it. I like listening to her. I especially like listening to her at the top of her lungs in church with every one else.
Since I couldn’t sing yesterday, my mind was particularly aware of a couple facts.
It’s probable that she can’t read the words on the projector. I mean – she can read fine for a 1st grader. But if you’ve ever listened to a first grader read – it can be a bit slow. They stumble, they re-read and mispronounce words all the time. Reading fast and singing what they read in key – not going to happen.
So hearing that Camber was singing loud, in key, and the right words – probably meant she was singing from memory and from the heart.
Every night we pray over our kids. “Father, give them a passion for You that causes them to chase wildly after You all the days of their life.”
Camber and Cayden have started saying to us lately – “I love you, Daddy but I love God more.” Pause “We’re supposed to do that, right?”
Abso – freakin’ – lutely, you’re supposed to do that.
All these thoughts scream through my head yesterday as I’m listening to my daughter worship.
And in spite of my voice being gone, I had my own God-moment.
It pleases a Father when His children worship. It really does.
Long 2 Days
“Hey – why haven’t you posted? Something wrong?”
Yes. Something is wrong. My body. We went skiing Friday – using the last of the free passes we had….moment of silence.
And starting Saturday morning – stuff wasn’t right. Couldn’t talk, eyes burning, throat hurt. Then last night – fever. Great. So this morning, I get breakfast in bed. That’s right. My gorgeous wife serves me breakfast in bed!
I’m now thinking I need to be sick more often. The truth of the matter – I don’t feel terrible. I don’t feel great – I feel…slow.
So – that’s the scoop. I’ll be posting more later.
Best 3-Piece Band of All Time?
We were rambling tonight during the podcast and Matt flippantly said – “On June 9th we are going to see the best 3-piece band of all-time.”
To which Chris said – “ZZ Top!”
To which Matt and I looked at each other in complete humiliation. “Uh…how about the 2nd?”
Then Chris said “Buddy Holly and the Crickets?”
Which of course got us thinking about all the 3 piece bands. To be fair – we eliminated any 3 piece that added a vocalist. Here’s what I can come up with so far – can you add any others?
Then…who would make your top 5 of all-time? My top 5 are the first 5…in order.
Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble
ZZ Top
The Police
Cream
Buddy Holly and The Crickets
Rush – although they used keys in the studio
Jimi Hendrix Experience
Genesis – see Rush comment
Emerson, Lake and Palmer
Glass Harp – of Phil Keaggy fame
Grand Funk Railroad – debatable..started as 3 piece, then morphed to 4.
Los Lonely Boys
John Mayer Trio
Greenday
Trios that WILL NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BE ALLOWED TO PARTICIPATE…
Destiny’s Child
Bee Gees
The Fat Boys
Run DMC
Cheetah Girls
Dixie Chicks
[tags]music, power trios[/tags]
Chargers’ Major Mistakes
I talked about the Dallas Cowboy situation earlier but this situation has too many leadership goofs to pass up.
Dean Spanos, owner of the Chargers fired Marty Schottenheimer today claiming the conflict between GM A.J. Smith and Marty to great to continue. To use his words – a dysfunctional situation.
Here are the basics of the situation – Smith and Schottenheimer have disagreed since day one as to what players to get and keep. Hard to argue with either one of their track records. Smith is responsible for turning Michael Vick into LT and Eli Manning into Shawn Merriman, Nate Kaeding, and Phillip Rivers. Let go of Drew Brees – a known – for the unknown – Phillip Rivers. They sent 15 different players to the Pro Bowl this year – either as starter or alternate. Shrewd, smart, and gutsy. Yeah for the GM.
Marty took a .500 team and has won 2 AFC West Championships, won 14 games this year, hired top-notch assistant coaches and infused a winning culture in San Diego. Talent may get you competitive but it’s coaching that wins games in the NFL. Yeah for the coach.
So who’s to fault? The owner.
1. He didn’t do what Jerry Jones did – hire people who are highly competent AND fit the culture. (I can’t believe I just used Jerry Jones as an example….somebody slap me.) Spanos just got two of the best qualified and competent guys in their position but forgot to ask if they could work together.
2. With one year left on Marty’s contract, no real contract extension was offered. That made Marty a lame duck coach. To the players – that’s not a huge deal. To assistant coaches – it’s life or death. So Cam Cameron takes off for Miami, Wade Phillips to Dallas and 5 assistant coaches left the Chargers this off-season. That’s what upset Spanos and Smith enough to fire Marty.
But what exactly did they expect to happen after they lame-ducked Marty? They wouldn’t sign any of those assistant coaches to extensions either, so Marty allowed those coaches to interview with other clubs that would give them an opportunity for stability. Marty knows all to well the cut-throat atmosphere of NFL coaching. Could he in good conscious allow his guys to miss opportunities for long-term security? No. And he didn’t. Since Spanos and Smith wouldn’t be stand up about it, Marty did.
3. The owner could have made a pro-active decision 2 months ago. He fires Marty then, he gets to keep most of assistants AND have either Cam or Wade as head coach. If Marty wasn’t good enough to give a contract extension with 14 wins, then why keep him in the first place? Was this a fear of failure move or just a great big game of “ego-chicken” with Marty?
In the meantime – they’ve lost major ground with free agency and the draft and having to rehire an entire coaching staff while the rest of the league is stable and moving forward.
How does this relate to us in the church?
In ways uncomfortable to talk about. First, hiring new team members that fit and have character is more important than competence. I think we over rate competence at times. If a guy has any track record at all in churches, I’m going to guess that he (or she) has some competencies. Even if they don’t – we can train that. Chemistry and character – what you get is what you get.
I can remember on one team when we made a hire and a voice around the table questioned the move. The question was then posed – do you trust the rest of the team to make the decision. After thinking that question over (and seeing the results of said decision) – that’s a horrible question. That is absolutely a horrible way to lead any organization – especially the body of Christ. If there is a voice around your leadership table that has questions and they are ignored or glossed over – why are they around the table in the first place?
A better question is – does the rest of the team trust the Spirit in that one person to hold off making the decision? They are around the table for a reason…to not listen is ramrodding a decision.
The ‘system’ we use at Pinecrest functions this way. One person has a question – we’re pausing. The downside – it’s long. It’s grinding. It’s relationally intense at times because it demands authenticity and vulnerability. We use it with our youth team concerning volunteers. If one of my coaches has reservations about something – we pause. If you are around the leadership/decision making table, you are there for a reason. Speak. Be real. Let’s figure this out together.
Second, however bad the conflict is in public, you can bet it’s 10 times worse in private. By the time the Deacons/Elders find out about a staff conflict, the chances of it working out well is slim. At that point it’s more about damage control than anything else. By the time it hits the congregation – it’s all over but figuring out who is leaving and who is staying. Basically, the larger the circle of knowledge, the less chance of reconciliation and the more intense the conflict is in reality.
Think that may be why Jesus told us to handle conflict at the lowest level possible – (take out your speck and go to your brother, one on one)? Think He might have known what He was talking about? And yet as stiff as Jesus’ guidelines are on handling conflict, I’m amazed at how many churches blatantly ignore His words.
By not handling conflict biblically and redemptively, churches set themselves up for splits – just like the Chargers – and the longer conflict is avoided, the more likely it becomes personal and less about real issues.
Lastly, lack of pro-active decisions. The second law of therm-dynamics is a law – not a theory. Energy left alone will lose its energy, order left alone will degrade into chaos. By refusing to make pro-active hard decisions, leaders force themselves to make harder reactionary decisions that require more energy and damage control later down the road.
I’ll pick on me here. When it was clear that I wasn’t a long-term solution for any position at Grace, there was a discussion as to how we would tell the body. As tough as it was to tell Grace in March that I wasn’t going to be around and I would be looking for a new place to ministry – it would have been a complete disaster to wait until 2 weeks before I left. More importantly than that, we would have been lying to the congregation. We saved a truckload of hurt, anger, confusion, and chaos by making the decision pro-actively and early. (That’s not to say there wasn’t some of that to deal with anyway. Just saying relatively speaking – it was less than the alternative.)
[tags]church leadership, San Diego Chargers, Marty Schottenheimer, Dean Spanos, A.J. Smith [/tags]
The Police Are Coming To Denver
This just in, gang. Guess who’s coming to Denver????
Now – if the venue is Red Rocks…that’s a recipe for one fun night out. But alas it is the Pepsi Can. Oh well…
[tags]The Police World Tour[/tags]
The Exile as Provision
Last night at Life Group, Stephanie did her devo on Jeremiah 29:11 – “I know the plans I have for you – plans to prosper you not to harm you.”
She commented that perhaps this was the most misquoted verse in all of scripture. She’s not going to get much argument here. I agree with her. And she talked about disappointment and failures and how in the middle of that it FEELS like God doesn’t have a plan or maybe He did have a plan but somehow we managed to screw it up royally or maybe even if He does have a plan we wonder if He has a clue how it feels to us.
All of us in the room had a story or two of the “dark night of the soul.” But then we finished the story of Jeremiah and how the promise of prosperity to the Jews was fulfilled 70 years later when they were allowed to go back to their homeland.
When Zerubbabel and Nehemiah first walk upon Jerusalem, there wasn’t a feeling of elation. It was depression. In the 70 years of exile, nothing was rebuilt. It was as if time stood still. I can imagine as the families came over the rise to see the glorious city that their grandparents and great-grandparents had told them about – there had to be that moment of awkward silence.
This is it???? This is the “promise fulfilled?” There’s nothing here. We have to rebuild everything – farmlands, vineyards, social structures, buildings, moral climate – everything. We had it better in Babylon.
I wonder if it hit them then that maybe the EXILE that they thought was punishment was actually provision of the Lord from something worse? I look back on my own times of exile and I wonder that as well.
Bruce’s Birthday
Bruce is a great friend of mine – in fact, one of the many non-blogging friends that I associate with.
So I call him.
Bruce: “Dude, I got a Xbox 360.”
Silence on my end.
Bruce: “Ang (his wife whom I’ve blogged about before) is cooking chicken enchiladas as well.”
More silence on my end.
Bruce: “I’m trying to figure out what game to get on the 360…I’m going to wait for College Football ’08.”
Sound of me silently trying to come through the phone and choke him.
So after the pleasantries, I get home send him an iTunes online gift card that read something to the effect of – “Happy Birthday you scum sucking rat, you suck.”
Bruce emailed back:
Thanks for calling me on my birthday and for the gift card.
The XBOX 360 sucks, the chicken enchiladas were nasty and I don’t miss you at all.
It’s good to see that distance hasn’t effected our relationship at all.
The Police
I didn’t even watch the rest of the Grammys. Seeing The Police open was awesome. Seeing Jamie Foxx immediately afterward killed me. Seeing the Dixie Chicks win Album of the Year solidified my belief that the current record industry is smoking crack and completely disconnected from the rest of the world.
Here’s a YouTube clip of the Police:
[tags]The Police, Grammys[/tags]
Cowboys Hire A Lesson in Team
Wade Phillips – yes, that Wade, Denver fans – is the new head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. You can whine all you want about why is a 3-time retread head coach given another chance when there are a slew of younger coaches that should be given a chance. But if you think about the sequence of events – this hire actually makes some sense.
Key word here – SOME sense.
For most football organizations – the head coach is the face and leader of the organization. He is the one that makes the tough decisions, who to draft, and who to hire. In other words – he’s given enough control of the organization to be ultimately responsible for the success (or failure) of the organization. But that is not the Dallas Cowboy culture. Jerry Jones is that man there.
Let’s look at the basics of this situation.
1. Dallas runs a 3-4 defense, have the people to run the 3-4 defense. Any other hire would change that.
2. Jones hired Jason Garrett to be the Offensive Coordinator BEFORE he hired a head coach. So any head coach hire would have to be okay with that. I mean REALLY okay with it. Otherwise the drama would have continued in Dallas this season instead of winning football games.
3. With Parcells around – let’s face it – everyone was nervous – Jones included. Too many egos. The other candidates? From the hotshot coordinators to Norv Turner – they probably all had a bit of edge or arrogance or need to be the “final voice” for the organization. Which in any other culture – would be awesome. Not in Cowboyland.
4. The Cowboys needed a leader who had no ego, who just wanted to coach, who is disarming and humble, and who will trust his assistants.
You add all of that up – the only candidate who has any track record with those 4 things is Wade Phillips.
The hire was about fitting the current team, not leading or creating a new one. So in that regard – the hire was smart. The second observation shouldn’t be underestimated either – the owner of the Cowboys is the top spot, not the head coach.
How does all this relate to a church setting? While I’m not real comfortable looking at Jerry Jones as a leadership mentor, this is one instance in which I think much can be learned.
When most churches when they make a hire – especially at the “top” position (I hate using that word…but it will have to do) have a major decision to make out of the gate. Do we need a complete culture change or a guy who can put the current pieces we have together?
Unfortunately, most churches don’t deal with that nor are they able to. They hire what they believe to be the “best” person for the job without taking the time to wrestle with the first question. At that point – it’s a game of dice.
(I’m purposely not dealing with the Spirit’s role in this for now. Why? Because it gets real easy to blame God for our lack of digging or due diligence to the hiring process. Do I think the Spirit can cover mistakes? Do I think He can make up for a bad process? Yes, I think He CAN. The question is DOES He do that or does He allow us to deal with the consequences of poor decisions and poor use of resources?)
I’ve got plenty of friends that found themselves on the outside looking in because the church needed a “Wade Phillips” hire but instead hired a “Sean Payton.” In other words – they had the pieces in place but then hired a guy who was better at clearing the deck and starting over.
On one hand – I understand that. There are times when the deck needs to be cleared. It just goes better for everyone involved when that is clearly stated up front.
On the other hand – and there is always another hand – sometimes you need a mixer, a catalyst. The pieces are there, we just need to add an element that will get it to ignite. More often than not this is the staff or associate hires but in the Cowboy’s situation – it’s the head coach. And of course there are some church situations where that position is…
the Senior Pastor position. Some churches are Deacon/Elder/Committee led and the pastors – including the Senior Pastor – exists to implement the desires and direction of that board. That’s the culture of the Cowboys – so hiring a Wade Phillips makes complete sense. Churches that are lay board led get themselves into trouble when they hire somebody who wants to lead and have the room/authority to lead. Instead, they’d (and their congregation) would be better served in finding a guy who understands his role and just “gets it done.”
The other side to this whole deal is for those of us who are vocationally called – do you know yourself well enough to know what kind of context you will thrive in AND do you have enough self-discipline to accept only those kinds of contexts?
[tags]church leadership, Dallas Cowboys, Wade Phillips[/tags]
4.30 Ugly
My wonderful dad had a flight out at 7.26…..in the morning.
That meant getting to the airport at 6….in the morning.
Which meant leaving our house at 5.15…..in the morning.
Which meant getting up at 4.30……in the morning.
I love Dad and Mary very much. And we will miss them. But that was early. It was a great visit otherwise.
You’d think that with a divorced family that there would be tense moments. Maybe there were years ago but I really have to hand it to all the moms and dads in my situation – they all get along. No arguments or no intense moments. That’s rare. I’ve seen so many families completely destroyed because the mom and dad are so focused at getting back at the other that everyone else gets hurt in the process.
I think both sides (in my situation) have done their best to avoid that. It wasn’t easy, I imagine, especially when I was a little kid. It sure as heck wasn’t the perfect way to grow up. There were some slips and stumbles – but they have made the best out of what could have been a disastrous situation.
And I’m so thankful for that now. Especially now that I have my own kids and they love playing with all 3 sets of their grandparents!
Grandad and Mamie
Couple of cool things about people visiting us – we get to ski with them. So “Grandad and Mamie” (aka my Dad and Mary) show up and the gang all loads up to the mountains!!
We were supposed to go to Winter Park but as we were about to go through Berthoud Pass, a CDOT truck was blocking the road. Come to find out they were causing an avalanche in the Pass. Would be a about “30 minutes” according to the CDOT worker.
Yeah – and I’m selling ocean front property in Southern Colorado. “30 minutes” to a state worker is like 4 hours in real time. No worries – we’re in Colorado so instead we headed to Copper Mountain Another great day in God’s Country! Around 40 degrees, no one on the mountain, no lines, no crowds and no wind!!!
Camber took Grandad out once, Cayden took me down once, Cooper took me down off the ski lift once, Cayden took Amy down twice. Other than that – great day! I took Camber down a couple of blues, Cooper even got in on the act.
The last run of the day, I took Camber through the trees and onto another blue run. I didn’t realize how steep it really was. She managed it well, only knocking Grandad over once in the process.
It doesn’t matter how many times I see this – I’m just in awe. Created by the mere thought of God – He just spoke it into existence.
