NFL Uniform Ranks

For all of my readers out there – both of you – I now will give you the NFL Uniform Ranks. Because this is the boring week between the Conference Championships and the Super Bowl, we need something to keep us focused on the NFL.

Before we break out the rankings, a couple of things to remember about uniform ranking.

1. It is an art. Not everyone should try this because quite frankly, not everyone has good taste. Just leave this to the professionals – namely me.

2. Details are important in a good uni. Ex: The team crest located on the hip of the Baltimore Raven’s uni. A nice detailed touch to an otherwise bland uniform.

3. Quality of the team did not bear into quality of uniform. Ex: New England Patriots, great team, horrible uniform. What is it with Captain America on the side of the helmet? Bring back the squatter with a canon ball.

4. Tradition is only as good as it looks. Those who argue the Detriot Lions have a great uniform because it’s been there since 1961 – I got this to say. The Lion logo sucked in ’61, it sucks now.

5. Bright colors are encouraged.

6. Shoes really do make an outfit. Black shoes work with the Colts, not with the Falcons. Why? I’m an expert, I don’t have to explain why.

7. Last, but not least, drawability. The worst thing in the world for a 12 year old in class, bored to tears yet he can’t draw his favorite team’s helmet or logo because it is so ridiculousy ugly or complicated. See Patriots again.

I broke the 32 teams into two conferences – The Bad Uni Conference and The Good Uni Conference. The Division Breakouts and Ranks are as follows:

Bad Uni Conference
Bottom of the Barrel (29-32)
Not Much Better (25-28)
Needs An Update (21-24)
Very Close To Good (17-20)

Good Uni Conference
Acceptable (13-16)
Great Looks (9-12)
The Crop (5-8)
The Cream (1-4)

Special Awards